Now that I want to write again

The desire to write is returning. I’m not sure I’m ready to pick up the problems with Avatar of the Maker yet; I may actually go toward Walk through Green Fire, a romantic fantasy of the quest variety and an older woman’s love story. Or I can write something new, although I haven’t had that inspiration yet.

My perverse mind (No, not that kind of perverse!)

What is leading me to write? Not an awakening inspiration, as I am still struggling with the muse in my life. No, it’s something that happens to me whenever important work comes my way — I want to write again. If I have all the time in the world, my brain goes torpid and luxuriates in bed. If I have deadlines or appointments, my brain suddenly explodes with the desire to write.

I think it has to be the type of work where I’m involved with my 9-5. When I spent the first couple of weeks this summer working in the garden, I didn’t feel compelled to write. But now that I have internship visits this week, now I want to write.

How this works

There’s a lot of pressure to write when one’s a writer. If one’s a self-published and self-paced writer like myself, there seems like there would be less pressure to write, but the desire to soar is always there, and it plays against the rejections and setbacks of being a writer.

When all one has is the drive to write, unchecked by the rest of reality, the setbacks can loom big, and failure taunts in the silence. As part of a more complete, even a more pressured life, I think about writing the way others think about vacations. I daydream, and then I write.

Off to write.