Category: Uncategorized

A Big Audacious Goal and a Positive Change

Daily writing prompt
Describe one positive change you have made in your life.
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I have a Big Audacious Goal I haven’t talked about much on here. My goal was to lose weight, and specifically to get down to a 25 BMI. My doctor chose that because, at my age, health outcomes are better with a bit of padding.

I am three pounds away from meeting that goal (and those three pounds will take forever). I have lost 88 pounds so far.

This weight loss has come with many non-scale triumphs. I have gone off of two of my meds, have cut down drastically on at least one more, and am working on getting myself in shape again. My liver is now normal, my kidneys are practically normal, and my blood pressure is a little on the low side. I wear a size 14 now (which is where I’ll stay; I’m not a small person) and I look better. I’m a bit saggy and lumpy, but that comes with a big weight loss and a life of being mostly heavy.

Life is not perfect. I need to get back into shape and start walking again. I could use some endurance and I have some muscle weakness from not lifting weights or anything. I have to figure out how to incorporate exercise in my life without detesting it. I’m afraid of gaining the weight back, especially as the goal is to get me off the Ozempic. The appetite return is daunting.

But I don’t want to gain the weight back, and I know how to eat to keep the weight from coming back. That is key. Now to keep my life in balance, juggle the weight with the exercise and the writing. Here’s to Big Audacious Goals!

Living by The Four Agreements

Daily writing prompt
Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?
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  1. Be Impeccable With Your Word.
  2. Don’t Take Anything Personally.
  3. Don’t Make Assumptions.
  4. Always Do Your Best.

These are the Four Agreements, from the book written by dom Miguel Ruiz, and I live my life by these.

Being impeccable with one’s word, to me, means not to speak unless one can speak truth. When we lie, we do not speak truth. When we say ‘yes’ when we mean ‘no’, we are not speaking truth. When we say negative things about ourselves or others, we are not speaking the whole truth.

Not taking things personally is exactly that — realizing that when someone says something, whether negative or positive, about you, they are speaking about their view of the world. They are speaking about themselves.

Don’t make assumptions — this, to me, is the easiest one to understand. I teach it in my case management class when we talk about clients, especially cultural diversity. Ask for clarification. Observe the other. Be careful to distinguish between facts and assumptions.

Always do your best. I make it a point to do this, understanding that my best during times of stress and distress is not the same as my best during good times. I can rest knowing that I did my best.

I know that The Four Agreements are considered New Age wisdom, and I reject a lot of that. But these four rules make so much sense in life and have made me a much calmer, more empathetic being.

First Post

Hello! I’m Lauren’s husband, Richard. I’m also a writer, having written a smattering of short stories, some poetry, two novels, and multiple screenplays. I also on occasion help with a little bit of story development on Lauren’s two current book series: the Hidden in Plain Sight universe and her Christmas romance series, Kringle Conspiracy, which features several stories set in a fictionalized version of the town we live in here in NW Missouri.

So suffice it to say that while this post IS a bit of blatant marketing (hint, hint) in that I’m writing about Lauren’s writing in hopes of generating sales, it’s also because I think she writes thought-provoking series with interesting characters, and although her Hidden in Plain Sight series touches on some serious topics (yes, there’s a threatened species-wide apocalypse for humanity), you shouldn’t be put off by that, because (spoilers), humanity does survive. As writer Elizabeth Scarborough put it: “Luckily there is a sequel.”

So what I would suggest is reading the books to get to know her characters: the near-immortal Archetypes, the humans gifted with talents from Gaia, the members of the aforementioned Kringle Conspiracy who really do spread the spirit of Christmas(tm) while stumbling through their romances.

Trust me, you’ll find a good read in all of them.

My Relationship Mistakes

Daily writing prompt
What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
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The experiences that helped me grow the most in my life were my relationship mistakes. When I was younger I had what is called in the literature an anxious attachment style. It comes from a childhood with an overwhelmed mother who used threats of abandonment as discipline. So I developed anxious-attached relationships with my boyfriends.

In common language, I was anxious and clingy. I chose people with avoidant attachment styles, which means they did not necessarily want to be in relationships. The males were ambivalent, distant, or otherwise not committed. This made me more anxious and clingy, which made them more noncommittal and distant, and … it was a total mess.

It took me a long while to break this cycle. One of the best things I did was spend many years outside of a relationship, to the point where I didn’t need a relationship anymore. And when I no longer needed one, I took the risk that found me the right one.