Category: Uncategorized

The World Needs

The motto of NaNoWriMo is, as I have shared before, “The world needs your novel”.

I have doubted that, since the world hasn’t yet published my novel. There’s so many novels out there, however, that the world can’t see my novel.  Too many people write, too many people get rejected because they’re not guaranteed in the current fashion — I may not be good at writing, but being rejected by the current agent process won’t tell me if I’m good.

I have an acquaintance who’s my role model — when a project doesn’t catch fire, he tries something else. He doesn’t have to deal with the huge time commitment of novel-writing, so it’s not quite the same. But I watch him keep trying and learning, and the story it makes is totally fascinating.

I am working to model his persistence. Nobody’s representing me? I seek out small press and publish my least sellable works on Wattpad. These aren’t likely to make me the “It” person at writers’ conventions, but I find hierarchies of fame tiring.

The world needs my perseverance.
The world needs my compassion.
The world needs my struggle.
The world needs my love.
The world needs my optimisn.


If you want to help — WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE A BETA READER?
This means you take on a manuscript and read it, making notes on parts you liked or didn’t like about it, places that you felt needed more description, more action, etc. I would like us to work through Mythos, which has been rejected once but is the first of a series I’d like to publish.

If you want to be a Beta reader (I need at least 3) please email me (soon!) at:

My email address

Potential

More than anything, I think the thing that inspires me when it comes to writing is the potential a story has. The potential to be read or heard, the potential to speak to someone’s condition, the potential to make someone laugh.

This is more important to me that simply writing for the joy of it. For me, the joy is from a human interacting with the humanity of my stories. My love of stories predates my love of writing, coming from a family where both sides excelled in their kind of stories. My dad’s family told hunting stories with a sense of slapstick and absurdity, except for the Native American tale about sacred white deer disguised as something my Grandfather had witnessed. My mother’s family loved wordplay, and very often my grandmother served as the “straight guy” a la vaudeville who would set up the play on words.

When I write characters, I want to bring them home for dinner and have a dinner party. When I write themes, I ask myself if they will entwine into my readers’ lives and change them. When I write plots, I think of my family stories and how they walked me into surprising places.

It’s good for me to think about why I write.

The situation is that I don’t have much patience. Much perseverance, but not much patience. Oh, well, I forgot to get that when I grew up. I’m trying new things now, like maybe small press even though I will be lucky to get 100 readers, and Wattpad, which is the massive marketplace of ideas with no curator.

Find me on Wattpad — you have to subscribe, but it’s free. Read my story collection as it develops. Say hi. Feel moved to interact with me.

Wattpad

And if you want to write me? lleachie AT gmail.com

Discovery

Why am I writing?

The first and most important reason is that when I quit, my characters call me back until it becomes an obsession. The less I write, the more ideas pop in my head. Or ideas on how to edit an old story to make it better haunt me (I’m probably ready to embark on the sixth iteration of editing Gaia’s Hands.)

The second reason I write is because I want to be read. I want people to see my characters and what they go through. I want them to fall as much in love with my characters as I do. I may never get read. Currently I’m putting some of my short stories on Wattpad, because I want to attract readers. I don’t know if I will, honestly. I don’t know how to attract people to my stuff, and both agents’ slush lists and Wattpad are stuffed with hundreds of books from people who were told “the world needs your books”.

The third reason? Maybe I need more friends. I am currently in the large group of people for whom social media is an attempt at social contact. We count likes on Facebook, votes on Kindle Scout, comments on Wattpad, and followers on Twitter as if these likes translate into a real sense of belongingness, safety, esteem, and love — all of which live on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs:

I am one of the many people out there for which friendship is a problematic construct. It may be because I’m neurodivergent; others I know who are neurologically different report the same things: the difficulty in doing small talk (such as remembering to ask after someone’s kids), the feeling like one’s breaking unwritten rules; the general sense of the moment when ‘keeping it real’ silences a room; overhearing the word “weird”, “crazy”, or “different” when referring to you. (I didn’t overhear these; I’ve seen them on my course evaluations as well as “all over the place”).
I have a few close friends who also hate small talk, and after the “how are you doing?” question, we talk about politics, explore our similarities and differences, laugh, drink coffee, and shine. I have friends on Facebook, with some friendships spanning thirty years, but I can’t feel the glow of those conversations. I love them anyhow.
I’ve tried to meet these needs (especially esteem — notice that’s not just self-esteem) through trying to get published, envying the kinship popular writers have enjoyed with their fans. For whatever reason, this is not in the cards for me. So now what I need is to find other ways to get those needs met.  

Quick question — please answer!

A quick question for you:

If I can’t get published, what is a good reason for me to write?

You can post anonymously in the comments (see comment button)

Or non-anonymously by email: lleachie@gmail.com

I’m likely not going to win Kindle Scout this time either, and rather than wallowing, I want to find purpose from this.

Another excerpt

An excerpt from the work-in progress, Prodigies:

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Feeling constrained by the beautiful, fussy bedroom, I slipped out of the bed I shared with Ayana, put on a pair of tights and a baggy tunic top and stepped out into the living room. Greg was already there, his lanky legs sprawled over the arm of the couch. 

“Hey,” he whispered roughly, and I swore I saw streaks from tears on his homely face. “You might as well know the truth.”

I sat on the floor in front of the couch. “About?”

“About why I can’t see you in a romantic way.”

“Because I’m black?” I asked, beating him to the punch.

“No. Because you remind me of my little sister, Liliana.”

Of course. “I was afraid of that. Haven’t I told you I’m not a kid anymore?”

“That’s not it. Liliana was my favorite sister. And now she’s … gone.”

“What do you mean, gone?” I asked, trying to read his face. 

I sat close enough to see the color of his eyes, an elusive hazel. A tear trickled from the corner of his eye. “Liliana and my other brothers and sisters and my parents were killed in an explosion. It was during the Street Wars in Poland, when the old guard communists fought the self-styled oligarchs with the workers and the educated classes in the middle, and they in turn fought for their lives. My family were in the theater — everything from plays to vaudeville revival. Because we were so well-known in Warsawa, we were thought by many to be spies for the workers. We were sympathetic, sure, and we even sometimes housed a refugee, but we were never spies. I was out of the street busking — I used to sing and play guitar — and I came back with  my take of a handful of zloty to find our townhouse bombed and my family, my whole damn family dead in the rubble of the still-smoking ruins. And the worst part is that I didn’t know I could have brought them back, so they’re lost forever.” Greg closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

“Don’t think I’m trying to kiss you,” I said as I stroked his hair. “Why do I remind you of your sister?”

“She was the most alive person I’d ever known. She pulled no punches — she had a talent for saying what needed to be said. Frankly, she could be an unholy terror at times. We despaired that she would ever get a husband, even at age 10, which was how old she was when she was killed.”

“Yup,” I shrugged. “I doubt I’ll find a husband either.” 

“You shouldn’t worry about that, Gracie,” Greg grinned.

Serious re-edit

On the seventh day of writing, my true love gave me —

An axe on my book…

Ok, that is doggerel. But, in actually, I am editing out a large portion of the work in progress. Remember that digression from the plot I wrote and was so happy about? I discovered that I had introduced about 11 new characters two thirds into the book and the mood of the book had abruptly changed, from isolation and slim odds to “We’re all in this together!” I got seduced by one of my favorite constructs, the secret society.

No more. The good news is that I don’t lose any words for camp because I had already counted them. And until I get caught up, I can count my work by hours and not words (because it’s hard counting words when you’re rewriting.) I’m one-third through the rewriting process, and I’m back to the claustrophobic adventures of four very unusual people on the run. As this book is young adult (and thus a coming of age novel), the coming of age stuff is pretty important.

Editing out material is really difficult, because it’s more than words — it’s sweat and blood. But there’s a saying: “Never fall so much in love with something that you can’t walk away from it.” (For those who think I’ve given up my romantic card, I’m all about romance. I’m also all about getting out from abusive relationships.) That rule is very important if one wants to improve as a writer. Didn’t Andy Warhol say “Murder your darlings?” (He was talking about manuscripts.)

So that’s the progress on the book. The progress on Kindle Scout? I have no idea. I don’t think anyone can vote on the books anymore, and I think the curators are going to grade on their own opinions. I don’t feel good about that, because my books don’t please agents. If I don’t get published through Kindle Scout, I have to figure out what my next step is — do I just sacrifice a book to uncurated, un-announced self-publishing where nobody will find it, do I go back to the agents and get rejected, or do I just quit and find another all-consuming hobby?

Venting

I need to vent.

Something is really hinky with Amazon Kindle Scout, and I don’t know what or why.

It started on April 2nd, which was the day after my book was released on Kindle Scout. It was the same day that they announced that they wouldn’t be accepting any submissions after April 3rd because they were stopping the Kindle Scout program.

It was that next day that my data stopped.

I don’t know anyone else in the Kindle Scout process, so I don’t know how they’re faring with data. But I know that April 3 was the day that my data quit updating. In other words, on the first day, I had 254 visitors, on the second another 254, and no data (not zero, NO DATA) from then onward. which is suspicious in and of itself, because how could I have exactly 254 hits two days in a row?

If you voted for me, I don’t know if your vote counted. I don’t know if I’m getting any more votes. I don’t know if Amazon shut down the Kindle Scout program early, making us last entrants look like we’re being considered when we aren’t.

This looks, in a word, hinky.

This is what I received when I wrote them about the malfunctioning site:

Hello Lauren,

Thanks for you for letting us know about the issue. We are looking into the matter and will get back to you as soon as possible.

Rest assured that this will not affect your book’s chances of getting reviewed by the Kindle Scout team and potentially selected for publication. If your book has been shortlisted, you’ll receive a personalized manuscript feedback report from us when your campaign has ended, and once the publishing decision has been made.

There’s some interesting things implied/not implied in this email:

  1. “We are looking into the matter and will get back to you as soon as possible.” I sent this note twice; I got this same exact copy twice. 
  2. Related to this, this is AMAZON we’re speaking about. Amazon didn’t get where it is by losing data.
  3. If it’s only my book that’s getting data silence, are the votes out there somewhere or have they disappeared? Will I get penalized for those lost votes?
  4. “…will not affect your book’s chances of getting reviewed…” Does this mean they’ll review it without votes? Does it mean they’re not counting votes for anyone anymore?
  5. If they’re not counting/showing data counts purposely, is this a breach of contract?
Needless to say, I am not happy. Somewhere inside me is a grouchy little kid whose slightly older sister got all the nice things while she got the exasperated shrug from mom. That grouchy little kid believes that life is out to screw her over. So I’m fighting the good fight here — but I’m really grouchy.
And what do I do now that this route to publishing is closed to me?

Odds and Ends

I just submitted an empty post. OOPS. Let’s fix this.

I’m here again thinking of the NaNoWriMo method of writing — let the words flow freely; take time later to edit. I’ll be honest, I don’t know any other way to write. I try to wordsmith on the run, and that is largely a function of being a person who likes colorful words. For editing, I tend to have to make two passthroughs in the hope of being thorough enough; when I’m very familiar with something, it’s hard for me to see flaws in plot or characterization.

I sometimes wonder what will make me feel like a real writer, short of being published. I have to seriously consider that again, now that I am getting agent rejections on Voyageurs. I need to feel some sense of accomplishment, and “I wrote a book” isn’t enough. I’m thinking about how I can write just for me and feel that sense of accomplishment.

I literally do not know what’s happening with my Kindle Scout campaign. I have seen two days of data. I am missing the last four days. I wrote a letter to them twice, and they assure that this will not affect my eligibility if I get enough nominations, but what if the missing data includes the magic 48 hours of hot and trending? If they can’t get it back, it will certainly affect my eligibility, unless they want to automatically slot me in. That would be nice.

For what it’s worth, my Kindle Scout campaign can be found here:

https://kindlescout.amazon.com/p/1KM8I0ZK97R9J/

If you’re so inclined, nominate it in case Amazon isn’t losing the data here…