In case you know anyone who might be interested …

I’ve been getting lots of rejections for Prodigies, many of which tell me how beleagured the agents are with all the queries they’ve been getting. So I’m going to try this for fun:

Dear Ms. _________:
My name is Lauren Leach-Steffens, and I was recommended to you by an attendee of the Pike’s Peak Writers’ Conference as being open to fantasy with strong women of color as protagonists.. My novel, Prodigies, 92,000 words long, is a literary fiction/magical realism crossover. This book covers young adult themes with an adult focus. The intended audience is well-read women who enjoy intelligent, strong protagonists and magical realism themes.
Prodigies tells the story of Grace Silverstein, a multiracial teen musical prodigy, who flies to Poland to perform in a showcase for young prodigies. However, nothing is as it seems, and Grace must flee with Japanese graphics prodigy Ichirou Shimizu and his chaperone Ayana Hashimoto. Before long, Grace and her companions grapple with the fact that they are Prodigies, people with preternatural talent.  An emergent threat against the United Nations on General Assembly Day leaves Grace and her compatriots a choice: weaponize their talents or watch people die.

I am new to the fiction writing world. When I am not writing, I am an associate professor of family resource management at a regional Midwestern university. I have written several research articles under my name (vita available upon request). I have written several manuscripts in the magical realism/literary crossover genre. My work is distinguished by its roots in psychology and sociology, emotional honesty, consequences of actions, and poetic word use.
Sincerely,
Lauren Leach-Steffens

Finding time

This has been a busy, busy semester.

For example, this is what I wrote this morning:

This course focuses on the concept, practice, and issues of case management.  Students will develop skills in communicating with clients, discerning intercultural issues in practice, and using best practices in documentation. This class will prepare students for case management positions in a variety of venues including geriatric case management, psychiatric case management, and disaster case management.

**********

I am becoming frustrated, because I’m having trouble finding the time and the brain cells for my writing. I don’t even know what I’m going to write for NaNo in November!

I need to find time. I think I can schedule after school, except on those days I have meetings (every Thursday, every Friday, and occasional Tuesdays). You see the problem, don’t you?

I need to plot some sacred “you can’t touch this” time.

I used to do this early mornings, but I’ve managed to put work-work (you know, work-work as opposed to writing-work?) into that time because I went to sleep thinking about that course description. My semester is busy enough that I think about work at night.

I’m thinking about evenings, from 6 to 8, at the Board Game Cafe. Every weekday. Even if I can’t write on my story, I have a routine going.

Let’s try that.

Sleep Hangover

Sometimes my body just decides to take over in scheduling rest into my life.

I was sleeping, body, honestly. I was getting eight hours of sleep a night. Why did you decide I needed to take a 20-hour nap?

I’m still a bit sleepy today, probably hung over from all the sleep. The coffee has done no good. I need to WAKE UPPPP!

Donations for more coffee will be accepted. Send pictures of coffee.

What I’m working on

Rewrites are harder than I thought:

Lilly Doe thought she’d have a nice quiet evening at home.

 She sat in her sanctum, the soothing living room of her Chicago bungalow. After looking through a research paper on modern Archetypes and the female psyche, Lilly strolled over to her bookcase to find a mystery novel to read — and dissolved into a sparkling mist.

When the molecules that made up her body realigned themselves, Lilly found herself in an eerily perfect coffeehouse.  Black walls, dark interior. Scattered shelves with bric-a-brac — a stuffed armadillo, a badly tarnished coffee urn. A small stage, enough for three musicians, but perhaps not enough for four. A dusty upright piano, which she suspected was in perfect tune. Lilly felt as if her insides were still sparkly mist and her legs about to dematerialize once more. But stubbornness would not allow her to shrink from the emergent situation.

The coffeehouse, however, stood silent, and nobody sat at the tables. If Heaven had a coffeehouse, Lilly reasoned, this would be it. Who knew Heaven would be so empty?

Lilly felt goosebumps form on her arms. Her knees buckled, and she collapsed into a chair. She pinched herself and felt pain.

Just then, a man glided up to the chair across from her and sat down. The man had fine, straight, black hair pulled into a loose ponytail, wide Asian eyes, and a graceful nose. He wore unrelieved black, which almost blended into the darkness of the walls.

The man looked at her expectantly.

“Am I dead?” she queried.

“No,” he replied, in a silky tenor. “I suppose you could be dreaming, Lilly.” He  rested his chin on his elbows, watching the emotions play on the woman’s face.

“I don’t dream,” she snapped. “Do we know each other?”

The man raised his eyebrows. “I know of you.  You have touched me.” He studied her again: a short, curvy woman with sunny curls, a button nose, and at the moment a scowl on her face.

“How could I have touched you? I don’t know you!” Lilly shivered.

“I heard a story about you once. It touched my heart,” he murmured. A long-fingered hand gestured toward his heart.

“I don’t know you,” Lilly snapped, standing up.

The man gestured her back down gracefully. “Think of me as an Archetype,” he said. “An Archetype who holds a cultural pattern for humans – thousands, even millions of people at once. Without their cultural DNA, their anchoring in the world, humans will die.”

“Millions of humans? ” Fear replaced skepticism, as though the words resonated with a buried part of Lilly’s memory.

“Pretty much. Archetypes generally live in spaces between worlds, a bleak place called InterSpace, so they can be called to be the template for a human in this world. Archetypes seldom visit Earthside, except in our case.”

“If this is a dream, why are you in it?” She held her breath to keep from screaming. “People can’t dream of what they haven’t seen before.”

“Did I say it was a dream? I called you here, to the ideal coffeehouse, a space that would reassure you, so I could talk to you.” His hand touched hers, and she jolted.

“This isn’t reassuring me,” Lilly sighed.

At that moment, two large lattes appeared on the table.  Lilly took a sip; a perfect latte. “Are these real?” she asked.

“Is this not the best latte you have ever tasted?” He smiled as if he’d made the lattes himself.

Lilly remembered the setting finally, a Chicago fixture whose eclectic shabbiness had earned it renown. It had been years since she had been — Lilly shivered. This compelling man – Archetype – spoke in riddles. “So why are we here?”

reconsidering

Yesterday, the theme seemed to be “find a different path to publishing”.

A colleague of mine who is working on a career as a motivational speaker stopped by my office to chat. She’s been following my laments on Facebook as some of you have, and she said to me, “You really need to find a different way to publish.”

“No kidding?” I responded. “I hear some of these agents are getting upward of 500 queries a day. How does one even stand out with that kind of load?”

So I am trying to mastermind how to go for indie/self-publishing and have people actually find my stuff to read.

The idea seems to be something like this:

1) Find a platform to publish on
2) Publish
3) Find friends willing to read and put reviews on the page
4) Publicize?

I’m still thinking about it. It’s certainly tempting after all the troubles I’ve had being noticed by agents. My writing seems to fit a niche that isn’t being regarded by mainstream agents. It’s not the only thing I’m contemplating — I am going to try traditional publishing until I run out of options there.

I’ll keep you posted. You let me know if you want to review a book, ok?

Writing and the Balance

Yesterday I felt unbalanced.

It’s been a busy work week, just as it promises to be a busy semester. I have three research projects I’ll be working on, plus recreating a new class or two, plus the usual teaching and student work. I spent all of yesterday creating a new syllabus for a class, something that should have taken me a week or so.

(I promise you I’m not hypomanic, just busy.)

In addition, I got three rejections yesterday. That brings me up to 1/4 of my queries coming back as rejections in four days. At least they rejected me quickly.

After it all, I felt unbalanced, like I always do when there’s too much work and not enough pleasurable things in my life. I used to think what I needed was recognition — to get noticed, to get published, to get an award or something. In other words, to get what I would call a “cookie”.

Yesterday I realized that I don’t need cookies. I need, instead, to get rid of feeling bad.

In other words, I need to get back into balance. And I’m coming to realize that writing, in and of itself, helps me feel balanced. (So do good smells, reading, tub soaks, and surprising new discoveries).

So I will persevere and keep writing.

I’m sorry I’ve been writing really short things lately — I’ve been really busy at work and my brain is full.

I’ll leave this with you — it’s an old one:

… and in the end, I found my way back home
Through forest fog, through sodden leaves that night,
Until I saw the street lights of the town
And felt new as I stepped into their light.
Can one be with a friend while sleeping sound?
If so, I felt a presence in my dream
For just a moment, chuckling with me;
Perhaps we’re less abandoned than we seem.

Rethinking why I write

Once upon a time, I wrote because I desperately needed to be heard.

I don’t feel that pressure so much anymore. I think that it took working with a developmental editor to let that go, because I realized that I could act like a professional and take writing seriously without someone bestowing a first-place ribbon on my work. In other words, I don’t need to be published to prove anything.

But now that the immediate, inner child’s need to be heard is no longer applicable, I’m wondering if it’s truly worth it to get published.

I have heard from agents that they’re getting 500 queries a day. This means all they can do is skim them and pick what “jumps out” at them. I could be an excellent writer, but because I’m not prone to sensationalism, what I write may not “jump out”. I think I need to accept that.

I may never get published. I say this dispassionately — the odds are very poor, no matter how good a writer I am, no matter how much I publish. If I get a foot in the door, I may get more published because I will be a recognizable commodity. But right now, Prodigies (my most polished/edited piece) has gotten four rejections and I just sent it out.

I don’t know where that leaves me relative to writing or publishing. I currently have almost no free time because when I’m not working, I’m writing. I’m feeling uninspired.

I may need to rethink whether this is my calling.

Today is my 55th birthday.

Today is my 55th birthday.

I don’t know what to think about that.

Turning 40 didn’t faze me — it felt no different than the year before. I had just gotten tenure, and I felt like I was at the top of my game.

Turning 50 didn’t faze me — it felt little different than being 40. I didn’t know what all the fuss people made about turning 50 was about.

At age 55, though, I suddenly feel like I have entered into the world of Advancing Age. That’s why 55 bothers me — it’s the age at which “matronly” replaces “sexy”. The age at which I could retire early if I worked at something more lucrative than professoring. The age at which I could join the Red Hat — oh, wait, that was five years ago, something I conveniently forgot. I am officially a ma’am, no longer a MILF (Ok, fine, I never was).

But the thing that really drove my advancing age home to me was that I am finally eligible for Senior Discounts. At no age previously has someone tried to attach the word “senior” to my existence. As long as I felt 35 at age 40, or 40 at age 50, my actual age didn’t matter. But now I can say “I’d like the senior breakfast” and not get carded.

That’s what really makes me feel old. Not that I mind the discount, but …

Murder your darlings thoroughly dead

I am murdering my darlings quite thoroughly in this edit/rewrite.

It hasn’t been fun. I’m losing a lot of storytelling and world building I’m going to have to build back in.

But there’s a storyteller’s adage, rendered sometimes as “Murder your darlings” and others as “Kill your darlings”, which simply means to get rid of all the self-indulgent stuff.

And when I look over my first novels, I find a lot of self-indulgent stuff.

I hope I’ve discovered the line between world-building and self-indulgent stuff now. I have to admit part of what I put in the original story embarrasses me and I cut it quite readily. I’m a bit scared of whether I’m cutting too much.

Oh, well, I can always add some back…