But First, Coffee

My summer class (the one I’m taking) hasn’t started yet, and the summer class (the one I’m teaching) is chugging along, so I have time to revise. I’m still working on Apocalypse, and it’s not been very systematic, because I’m almost to the end and I’m thinking of what I should have done Back There. I figure I will finish and go back, making for a long process.

But first, coffee.

Our local coffeehouse (Oh, how I miss the Game Cafe!) delivered two pounds of Oddly Correct’s “Meat and Potatoes”, which is a solid yet somewhat esoteric brew. I have a cup right now, and it’s a blessing during quarantine when we’ve run out of our roasting beans for a few days.

So I will work today, caffeinated, hoping my inspirations will catch hold and I can make Apocalypse even better than it was.

Experiencing Very Little

Not much to say today. I’m in quarantine as usual. I desperately need coffee as usual. Classical music is playing in the background as usual. I’m beginning not to be able to tell the days apart, except Richard is home all day on Saturday and Sunday. The cats are being bad as usual. The view outside my window is quiet as usual.

Although onism is the realization that one will not experience all there is to offer, it’s doubly poignant now with all the ordinary things we’re missing: funerals, weddings, high school graduations. Regular schedules. Daily rituals at the coffeehouse. Extended peer groups.

It’s okay to mourn or even resent the strictures put on us at the moment. But stay safe. There’s so much we don’t know about the virus yet, and what we know is sobering. We need these quarantines to control the number of sick who need extraordinary measures so that hospitals don’t get overwhelmed. But have your feelings, and go on practicing safe existence with social isolation, wearing masks outdoors, and handwashing.

I will never be able to experience all things in this world. But I’m making a list of what I want to experience when this is over.

Unmotivated

I’m not feeling it today.

Some days, I don’t feel like writing, and today is that day. I need to write that next chapter to Prodigies (the revision adds four chapters, maybe 5). I need to write this blog (I am writing it, but it’s taking a lot of will to do it.)

I’m tired (still). Maybe the coffee will help.

A change of scenery would help, but I can’t go anywhere!

The best remedy for procrastination in my opinion: Write for five minutes. If you want to quit after that, do so. But chances are you’ll want to write more, once you’re in it.

Except today. I don’t think it’s going to work today.

Maybe the coffee will help.

I don’t feel like writing (personal)

Not in the Mood Today
I have two ideas for short stories, and one novella (or a short story, I don’t know) and I don’t feel like writing yet.

I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I’m editing from beta readers’ suggestions for two novels and I want to get some queries out! I have two months before I can query again.

The Wise Advice Someone Gave Me
I really should take the advice someone (I don’t remember his name!) gave me at Archon (a writers’ conference in St. Louis): I should concentrate more on short stories and poetry and submit them in contests and for publication,

I’ve been submitting, using Submittable as a platform for finding and submitting my works. I’ve had a 10% response rate, which I consider good. I’ve noticed, strangely, that my work is received better overseas. Not so strangely, I’ve noticed that I don’t score so high with literary journals

I’m Tired
It may be the weather or seasonal depression or something, but I’m really tired right now. The moment I get more beta reader feedback, I’ll wake up and modify my novel like a maniac.

And there’s always coffee.

Wish me good happy things

Well, I got a rejection in a short story contest, but it’s not bothering me too much. I didn’t even get honorable mention. I think they were looking for literary fiction, which is high concept fiction that doesn’t touch genres. I write genre fiction, specifically science fiction/fantasy. I may need to be a little more specific as to who I send to.

I’m pushing myself to go drink coffee and write at the Game Cafe. I don’t think I’ve been there in two weeks, and that might be part of the reason why I’ve been having trouble motivating. When I’m feeling down, the closer I am to my bed, the harder it is to motivate.

My choices on projects are either: 1) keep revising on Gaia’s Hands or 2) keep writing on Hands (No, not at all confusing), the origin story for Grzegorz Koslowski (apologies to Polish readers; I can’t get that little mark through the l to work). I might feel motivated enough to go through Gaia’s Hands today.

Wish me luck and motivations and good happy things. I still have a couple submissions out there and one query to an agent.

Some Days It’s Hard

It’s Sunday morning here in Maryville, on a dark morning following a torrential thunderstorm, with more rain on the way. I’m listening to classical music and drinking entirely too much coffee, followed by a good dose of King’s Oolong Tea 913, which I received from a friend of mine who’s currently back in China. No need to go out; just a long amount of time to do something.

Or nothing. Right now, I want to do nothing.

I took a break from writing yesterday, mostly because I didn’t feel well, but in part because my projects are as follows:

Gaia’s Hands, which is frustrating me because I can’t get a handle for improving it (this vastly rewritten and rewritten story)
A short story about one of the characters in Prodigies, which starts with a whole family dying in a bombing and gets more depressing from there.

Not much to grab onto, is there?

My worry if I take another break is that I will quit writing, because, frankly, it’s easier not to write. Part of the reason I write this blog is to force myself to be productive, to take the hard path, the path I really want to see myself walk down.

So we’ll see what I want to write today.

Thanks for listening!

Writing in Beaver Dam WI

Another day at Higher Grounds in Beaver Dam having just finished another three hours of writing. I’m at 14 hours out of 30 for Camp NaNo July, and I’m at least getting more words for Gaia’s Hands. I think it’s going to go through another dev edit because it deserves it and it’s now a much different book.

Richard has just gone through a line edit of Apocalypse, which means a couple fixes and it’s ready to go into Query Mode. It’s a very different book than the one that failed in querying. I think I’ve grown a lot from when that was the second (and third) book I’ve written.

One thing I’ve discovered: Nobody’s impressed that I’m a writer. I’m secretly amused by this, because there’s this part of me who dreams of impressing people. In reality, it’s “Oh, you’re a writer? You’re not published yet? Have you tried children’s books?” I have nothing bad to say about children’s books, but unless they involve ancient lore, preternatural bad guys, and the reincarnation of King — Oh, sorry, that’s Susan Cooper’s Dark is Rising sequence. Loved that stuff.

I stay optimistic, maybe because I’ve won one short story contest and been a runner-up in another. (I’ve been rejected by three times this many zines and contests, though).

The Conference

Sorry I haven’t written for a couple of days, but I’ve been busy busy at the conference. It’s been a very positive experience, and here are some of the things I’ve learned:

A lot of the people here write science fiction and fantasy. And the stories are all very different from each other.
Character may be more important than plot in hooking an agent in.
My work is good — I was told by one editor that my work was “going places.” I hope so.
The same editor told me I need to back off on the novels (high effort) and start writing some short stories to submit to journals. I have 5-6 novels, none sold yet. He is probably right.
The same editor teased me about my character padding her calves to look like a man, saying that several females he knew had more muscular calves than he did. Well, shit.
Comp titles (“Twilight meets Hunger Games”) really exist for a reason.
I made a friend who’s about my age who introduced me to Broad Universe, a writing space for women (love the pun) and might get me into a critique group if there’s a space.
I made another friend in Kansas City (about my age) who writes stuff with similar worldview quirk (turning mythologies on their head).
I need to put the fact that I was a runner-up in Cook Publishing’s Short Story contest in my query letter.
I need a business plan
I need a marketing plan (this blog is part of it)
I need to quit using so many dashes — and ellipses …
The conference has coffee service ALL DAY.

That’s probably not everything, but the experience has been affirming and I’m a little giddy thinking about it. I’m sure the impostor syndrome will take hold tomorrow, but for now, I feel like a writer.

Waiting for Things to Happen

I’m drinking coffee in my room while I write this, hoping for a productive conference.
The writers’ conference starts at 9 CDT and I already have some ideas for places to get peer reviews. I have to remember to give business cards — I have plenty. Networking does not come naturally to me, especially as I have a hearing problem that’s getting worse with time.

During the conference, I have a pitch session and a session with an editor during the conference (short selection, not the whole book) and a 5×5 critique session during this conference.

Anything to get better — my only fear is that my book doesn’t have good bones. By “bones”, I mean the bedrock of the book. Ok, enough of the metaphors — the basic idea and structure of the book, the language, the characters, the plot.

I still have a manuscript out at DAW (Prodigies); not expecting them to bite, but there’s always hope. Apocalypse is back in dev edit, and the editor is doing a thorough pass after all the changes I made. My dev editor (shout out for Chelsea Harper here) says she believes in Apocalypse. Keeping my fingers crossed.