Daily writing prompt

If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?

View all responses

If I had to get rid of one word I use regularly, the word would be ‘should’.

‘Should’ is attached to expectations, oftentimes other people’s expectations. Saying ‘You should’ projects my values upon another person more often than not. ‘Should’ seems to come with a certain amount of shame if one doesn’t follow it.

“Should I do this?” If I ask this question, the response from my husband will be, “I don’t know, should you?” And rightfully so, because what I need to do at that moment is an analysis of the pros and cons of doing the action.

‘I need to’ is a different phrase than ‘I should’. It is a statement referring to consequences of not doing something, which are experienced by the person. It takes responsibility for itself.

I should get rid of ‘should’. See how hard it is?

Daily writing prompt

If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?

View all responses

If I had to give up one word that I use regularly, it would be ‘should’.

‘Should’ is a word full of judgment. Someone else is judging us or we are judging ourselves against some unspoken standards that we are not ourselves claiming. “I should do my homework.” The word ‘should’ always sounds like “I’d really like to do something else, but X says I should do my homework.”

Admittedly, there are things we need to do. But ‘need to’, although it’s two words, is a perfectly good phrase to use here. “I need to do my homework” implies an internal locus of control rather than the external ‘should’. The speaker has a need which they can fulfill. It’s also a positive statement: “I take care of my needs.”

I would feel a lot stronger if I didn’t use ‘should’.