Tag: Gaia’s Hands

My Problem Child



My first novel has always been my problem child. I wrote Gaia’s Hands based on a dream/fantasy I had of a May-December relationship, only the female was the older one.  Because I didn’t want to write a romance novel (plus I couldn’t see an audience for this one), I developed a quirky fantasy line involving the most high-powered   version of a green thumb you can imagine. There’s always seemed to be something missing, or something awkward about it, and I’ve tried many ways (usually cutting things) to see if that helps. It didn’t. There was still something lacking.


The other day, a book coach with a romance background looked at it, and she said there were two faults — 1) not enough emotion; 2) It should actually be a romance. to be honest (and I apologize to the romance writers who read this) I have read a lot of romances I don’t identify with, with tropes that annoy my feminist sensibilities: the heroine who doesn’t think she’s attractive but she’s drop-dead gorgeous, the male who’s the strong silent type. I don’t want to write those tropes, and I’m afraid I’ll be an unreadable romance writer if I write the truth about Josh and Jeanne — she’s twenty years older and a Rubenesque professor; he’s built like a lightweight wrestler and the most macho thing he does is practice aikido (and has achieved the equivalent of first level black belt).  He writes poetry and stories; she designs permaculture gardens. He is intense and hungry; she’s a bit preoccupied with his research. They both think what they want is impossible.

The trouble is, I have to believe in their romance to write it, and right now I’m like Jeanne, who thinks it’s a biological impossibility that a twenty-year-old guy would fall in love with a 45-year-old woman. I know the other way around is possible sort of — I have gotten crushes on 20-somethings with small builds. But, again, like Jeanne, I don’t know how that could be reciprocated. If I want this book, I have to find a way to believe in that. 

Novel in need of resuscitation.




I’m contemplating scrapping a novel.

Gaia’s Hands, my first book, needs so much help. I can’t even explain why, except that it just isn’t up to my standards. The B story (Jeanne and Josh’s relationship) doesn’t feel quite right. The A story needs a few adjustments. The magic seems intermittent and just wedged in.

All in all, I am frustrated with this story, even though I’ve rewritten it so many times it’s ridiculous.

It’s down to a short novel. Maybe if I cut enough, it can be a novella. I don’t see it getting larger again. 

Wish me luck.

Better get over this burnout quick.

My brain needs a rest.

I think I burned myself out doing 50 hours of editing Gaia’s Hands in ten days. My brain definitely needed a break. Then I’m in the busy part of my semester, and have graded 45 final projects and 25 papers in the last two weeks. And put together my classes for next semester. 

I think maybe I’m a little burned out on everything. I tend to want to sleep a lot, even though I’m not depressed.  It’s a good thing that I have a week off for Thanksgiving next week, then a week of finals, and then Christmas.

I’m not going to let the burnout last long. I need to think of a project — maybe editing Whose Hearts are Mountains before a dev edit. Maybe editing a story or two for submission, or even writing a new story. Someone suggested I turn the short story Hands into a novel, but I think that would require a research trip to Poland, where I don’t know the language nor what I’m looking for. 

I’m trying to find my direction forward, and it’s harder now that I’ve calmed down about getting published. I should go back to my goals and see if I need to revise or add or just get cracking on them.

Dreams vs goals

I’ve been pretty mellow lately about my writing, getting my enjoyment from editors telling me how to improve. This is my most noble self, but my sanguinity even in the face of rejections doesn’t motivate me to push myself — for example, I haven’t sent queries lately. I haven’t finished editing Whose Hearts are Mountains (although that may need a developmental editor). 


I still daydream about getting a novel published, even though I understand how hard it is, and I know I’m not a literary writer but a genre writer, and my stuff seems like it needs an endless amount of improvement …


I need to set some goals again. I’ll make them SMART goals — specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-bound.

  • Write/submit 5 short stories/poems/flash fiction by December 31, 2020
  • Get Whose Hearts are Mountains into developmental edit by March 1, 2020
  • Send 50 queries for Gaia’s Hands by February 1, 2020
  • Send 50 queries for Apocalypse by August 1, 2020
Note that my goals are in terms of what I will do (submit) rather than what might happen (publication). It’s not realistic for me to determine someone else’s actions. 

I suspect I will be successful in fulfilling these goals — in general I’m very goal oriented. What I don’t know is if they’ll yield dreams come true.

Meh.

I took a break from the blog yesterday because I’ve been working on my online presence for spring classes (all done; assignments are where they should be with due dates as they should be) and working on Whose Hearts are Mountains (which isn’t a total mess, but a frustrating problem with how to make more tension in the first half.)

I’m at 67k (67 hours) for NaNo, at least 50 of that going to the big edit of Gaia’s Hands. I’ve almost quit posting time because I’m so far over my time.

Today I am going to spend as much time as I can stand on Whose Hearts are Mountains, but I don’t know how much that will be because I’m feeling a bit underwhelmed. Not upset, not depressed, just underwhelmed with my writing. Meh.

50K!

I just made my 50k words for NaNoWriMo (actually 50 hours, as I was rebelling this year by editing) in 10 days. That’s 5 hours a day, which means I wasn’t doing much of anything else but writing in my spare time. 

It was insane. On the other hand, I think I have Gaia’s Hands to the point where, after a friend reads it, I could publish it. I think I learned a lot about editing. And focus. And feeling braindead at the end of a day.

I will finish a read-through on it, and then, I will probably start on Whose Hearts are Mountains. Only 2 hours a day, though. And it’s going to take a lot more work, because it has structural problems in the first third. 

Time to pass out now.

Loving and Nurturing my Story

I’m struggling to get back into writing. No, I’m writing poetry and short/flash fiction pretty well. I’m having trouble getting back into editing Gaia’s Hands.

Gaia’s Hands is my problem child, as I have said before. What do you do with a problem child?

My friend Les, who we memorialized last weekend, would say we love and nurture our problem children.

So, how do I love and nurture the story? I need to go back to the characters, because without them the story would not exist. I probably need to converse with them again, to get back into the game. 

The editing will be my project for NaNo, so I have time to get back into it. 

Time to nurture my problem child.

Updates on Gaia

The latest on Gaia’s Hands stuff — I changed the timeline as I said I would, and I’m adding some of the relationship stuff in that I massacred in a previous edit. This time, though, I’m writing it in terms of what I understand their budding relationship to be — at times frustrating and confusing but usually a matter of joy. 

I also did move Jeanne’s age back to 45. I don’t know why that five years makes a lot of difference, but it does. At age 45, I honestly believed I could keep up with a twenty-year-old. (In actuality, I suspect they couldn’t keep up with me. Take that how you will.)  Fifty, though? That’s a milestone birthday, and one with superstitious portent of old age.

I’m still far from finished, though. And I’m not sure the novel will clear 60k. (Can I publish an omnibus edition? Or be an outlier with fewer pages and get published? I just don’t know.)

This story is killing me.

I’m doing a major editorial change on Gaia’s Hands again. This story is the bane of my existence and I should just burn it, but I’m compelled to make something of it. 

The time table is too compressed, it seems. There’s not enough time to develop Jeanne and Josh with the current setup, because it only runs from March to May 31.  

Too little time, I think.

So I’m moving the start date back to October (which is important, because Josh needs to be riding his bike) and keeping the ending at Memorial Day (because there’s a big planting of a food forest to be done, and a horticulturalist wouldn’t plant much later than that.)

I will have to add in stuff.

I still wonder if I can make this story into something.