I remember being single. It was a few years back, but I was single for much of my adult life. Valentine’s Day was rough back then, because it was just a reminder that I did not have a romantic relationship.

I have been in a bad marriage. Valentine’s Day was a reminder that other people were in a better situation than I was.

I don’t like Valentine’s Day. It seems to exist so that women in relationships can show off what they received as presents, while men spend money on these gifts. At the same time, I enjoy getting the flowers and going out to eat with my husband. I’m a hypocrite in this regard.

I feel for the people who are looking for someone and failing. I feel for the ones who don’t feel secure in their relationships. And I admire the hell out of those people who make the holiday their own — valentines to friends, Galentine’s Day, random sticky notes with hearts across campus. I have nothing against spreading the love.