Day 40: Sanctuary

According to Abraham Maslow, psychologist, humans have a hierarchy of needs. The model (which everyone who has ever taken a psychology class will recognize) looks like this:

The hierarchy starts at the bottom, with physiological needs at the bedrock. Without food, clothing, and shelter, nothing in the upper levels matter.

Notice where safety is — right above physiological needs like food, clothing, and shelter. Safety is that fundamental, that we need it before we need love and esteem, and even when we having love and esteem, if that safety erodes at any time, we revert to needing that more than anything at any level above it.

To feel safe, we need spaces where harm cannot enter. We need a physical space secure from intrusion and hazard. We need a workspace free from threat and abuse. We need playspaces for children free from guns and bullying. We need a society free from scapegoating, discrimination, and hatred.

We can’t change the spaces out of our control, so we need ourselves or others to create protective spaces for us. We call these spaces our sanctuaries, our hideaways from the hazards of the outside, where we can be ourselves without danger.

Sanctuary cities have been in the news lately, with President Trump threatening to drop busloads of migrants off to these cities. The mayors of these cities do not see this as a threat, but an opportunity to provide sanctuary as a concrete action rather than as an ideal. These cities do sacred work in providing sanctuary to those who face an unsafe and insecure life.

Who is unsafe in our society? Name them, and then find a way to provide sanctuary. Eliminate white nationalism in your corner. Question the number of black males who get killed by the cops; question why whites get the benefit of the doubt. Stand up to bullies, including those in the administration of school districts. In Maslow’s hierarchy, people cannot thrive unless they’re safe. Help people to thrive.

 

Insecurity as part of life

I am close to the end of Prodigies, so close that I can see — the headlights of an oncoming train.

That’s how writing feels like if you’re insecure — the feeling that you’re going to finish the work only to find it a piece of crap. And realizing you’re the least objective person reading your work, but still accepting your own judgment that it’s a piece of crap. That’s what insecurity is — the lurking voice that whispers “you’re not good enough, you’ll never get published, nobody cares about what you write.”

I’m insecure. Isn’t every writer? Isn’t every creative person out there?

What do I do about it?

At this point, it’s hard, because many of my creative friends say, “Hey, I did a thing! Look at this thing I did!” and post it on Instagram or Facebook. I think that’s why I have a blog here, but I get comments very few and very far between, so I don’t have the response of “Hey, what a cool thing you did!” Come to think of it, my friends who say “Hey, I did a thing!” don’t get responses on Facebook or Instagram either, and they have more friends than I do.  I should comment more on their things they did. Maybe it’ll come back to me.

My beta readers (two of them; the third hasn’t gotten back to me) have been complimentary of my work even through pointing out some necessary changes. I actually feel less insecure when people point out errors and problems becausef they care enough to read and it’s only in the worst writings that someone can’t make constructive comments.

Insecure people seek out reassurance, and sometimes it has the opposite effect if they ask for too much. “Look at this thing I did!” seems more positive and effective than wailing “I’ll never be published”. I’ve done both.

I can own it, my entree into the world of creatives — I’m insecure.