Tag: mantra

I love you.

I love you.

I’ve gotten off track in my life. There was a time I held those three words in my mind when encountering everyone.

I learned that trick during a massage class years ago with Patch Adams (yes, that Patch Adams for those in the know). He saw massage as a way of giving to others and not a way to get into someone’s pants. (“If you want to get into someone’s pants, tell them, ‘Hey, I’d like to get into your pants.’ If you want to give them a massage, ask to give them a massage.”) He also told the class that if they held the thought “I love you” in their minds, it would make the massage better. And I did, because at that age it was easy for me to love.

As I got older, people seemed less approachable than they were when I was in college. I forgot how to give massages. I forgot how to hug. I forgot to hold “I love you” in my mind when interacting with people. I found myself burdened by grudges, jealousy, all those adult feelings that get in the way.

Last night, during my meditation, my wiser self reminded me of those words, and included others that would help people’s souls:

I love you.
I thank you for being here.
You are beautiful.

I will not say them out loud, because there’s so much baggage with these words, as if we were trying to get into someone’s pants rather than give a massage with no strings attached.

I love you.
I thank you for being here.
You are beautiful.

Planting my Garden

I am surrounded by love,
and love is my protection.

This is my mantra when my thoughts say ugly things to me. Negative self-talk is ingrained in the mind to be triggered when emotions pull us below zero. It hollows out my sadness until it is a gaping maw to devour me.

I am surrounded by love,
and love is my protection.

Negative self-talk is learned — by parents, by experiences, by other trusted adults. I experienced extensive bullying, emotional abuse, sexual assault and rape, conditional love. I have learned to devalue myself.

I am surrounded by love,
and love is my protection.

My self-talk tends to tell me that I’m no good, nobody has ever loved me, and everyone thinks I’m weird. My mind believes that I am helpless and powerless and that everything bad that happens to me is still my fault. Most of the time I can keep these insinuations at bay, but when I feel negative emotions, the negative self-talk gnaws at me, spiraling down so that I reside at the bottom of a dank well.

I am surrounded by love,
and love is my protection.

I don’t know if the words are true, but when I say them, I feel loved and protected. I don’t know if it’s my mind is soothing me now, if I’m making a prayer to a higher power, or if one can actually feel love from people far away. It doesn’t matter — my mantra is making me whole again.