Redoing the Query Letter

One of the most important aspects of a query, or the way you introduce a novel or other book to an agent, is the query letter.

Yesterday, I learned that my query letter sucked.

I sent it to The Query Shark, where an agent looked through it and critiqued it thoroughly. So I have an expert opinion that it sucked.

This is good news, actually, because it may be the reason that my queries are bearing no fruit. It’s not an easy fix, but an important one. The query is the introduction to the book, after which the agent will either request more pages or pass. The query letter is the first thing they will read in the query.

In a query letter, you have to accomplish several things: you have to introduce the agent to your book using a synopsis in a couple paragraphs. You must give specifics about the book such as genre and number of pages. You must provide a brief bio.

The problem with my query letter is that my synopsis wasn’t capturing the spirit of the books, nor were they involving the reader personally with the characters’ development. They were bare recitations of the plot, and they lacked the fantasy element. In a way, my query letter didn’t sell my book at all.

I am working on that blurb, and it’s completely different. I think I have the right idea this time.

I don’t feel like writing (personal)

Not in the Mood Today
I have two ideas for short stories, and one novella (or a short story, I don’t know) and I don’t feel like writing yet.

I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I’m editing from beta readers’ suggestions for two novels and I want to get some queries out! I have two months before I can query again.

The Wise Advice Someone Gave Me
I really should take the advice someone (I don’t remember his name!) gave me at Archon (a writers’ conference in St. Louis): I should concentrate more on short stories and poetry and submit them in contests and for publication,

I’ve been submitting, using Submittable as a platform for finding and submitting my works. I’ve had a 10% response rate, which I consider good. I’ve noticed, strangely, that my work is received better overseas. Not so strangely, I’ve noticed that I don’t score so high with literary journals

I’m Tired
It may be the weather or seasonal depression or something, but I’m really tired right now. The moment I get more beta reader feedback, I’ll wake up and modify my novel like a maniac.

And there’s always coffee.

Hope Springs Eternal or, Sisyphus Was an Optimist

Hope springs eternal.

I sent a query off to DAW Books, one of those other Big 5 publisher imprints that don’t require an agent. If my history with Prodigies is any indication, I should hear nothing from them in 6-8 weeks (they don’t send rejections if I understand correctly) and be done with it.

Why do I do it, even though my chances of being chosen for publication are small?

Because if I don’t do it, I’ll never know.

Because I’m the sort of person who tries, even if I fail.

Because I like to make things happen.

Because I’m an eternal optimist.

Because I think my writing deserves to be read.

Because I don’t want to be the one that gave up too soon on a dream.

Seeking direction again

(Note: I am experimenting with larger print for a reader of mine.)

Idea for my next book from the idea file:

Luke Dunstan, 6000-year-old Archetype, serves as a liaison between the immortal Archetypes and the humans whose cultural DNA the Archetypes hold. An edict from the Archetypes’ Maker bids the Archetypes prepare to return these memories in the trust of the humans. Facing their loss of identity, the Archetypes draw battle lines; countless human lives are at stake. It is up to Luke and one young woman, Leah Inhofer, to stop the battle of Archetype against Archetype.

*******

I really need to get back into writing. Or at least editing.

I’ve been editing a bit, but even then I often skip out on it because it’s tedious to go through a document to kill all the extra “have had has was were”. I haven’t written on a novel since finishing Whose Hearts are Mountains in December. I have some old ideas in my file (see above) but no new “a-ha” falling in love with the idea motivation.

Writing the blog every day, as I mentioned yesterday, is my lifeline to writing. As long as I write in my blog I’m still a writer. Right?

I’m afraid that if I keep getting rejections, my current lack of commitment puts me in an easy place to just walk away. This might be a good thing for me in the greater scheme of things, but it’s not good when I think about being a writer.

So I’m musing about what to do. Again.

Publishing coaches

Because I don’t know when to quit, I’ve pooled some money into working with publishing coaches. I have the query materials for two different books (Voyagers and Prodigies) out to two different publishing coaches.

To give you the idea of how publishing coaches work, I have to explain what query materials are. Think of them as a promotional/sales packet for the book. This packet — a cover letter, a professional bio of one paragraph, a two-page (usually) synopsis, and the first so many pages of the novel, provides the agent enough information to ask for the whole novel to read or reject it. (I am not convinced that it really provides the agent enough information, but I’m not an agent).

So the agents are going to start by helping me revise the query materials. I don’t know if it’s the query materials, to be honest. I’m a pretty good writer. On the other hand, I am really bad at self-promotion. Ok, I’ll qualify this — I have done well promoting my work in my career as a professor. When it comes to creative writing, I’m more like “oh hai, could you read my stuff and tell me I’m a writer?”

I don’t know what happens afterward. If it’s self-publishing, I’m missing some of the things that make for self-made success: A published author who will vouch for me, previous published books, a lot of friends who will read my book and like it … I hope there are alternatives for me because realistically, I don’t have these. Maybe I should just put my book on Amazon and let it languish, because at least I’ll have closure. (That sounded bitter. I didn’t mean to sound bitter, whoever’s reading this.)

Of course, I don’t know what the publishing agents have to tell me. I need to stay optimistic.

I’ll let you know.

In case you know anyone who might be interested …

I’ve been getting lots of rejections for Prodigies, many of which tell me how beleagured the agents are with all the queries they’ve been getting. So I’m going to try this for fun:

Dear Ms. _________:

My name is Lauren Leach-Steffens, and I was recommended to you by an attendee of the Pike’s Peak Writers’ Conference as being open to fantasy with strong women of color as protagonists.. My novel, Prodigies, 92,000 words long, is a literary fiction/magical realism crossover. This book covers young adult themes with an adult focus. The intended audience is well-read women who enjoy intelligent, strong protagonists and magical realism themes.

Prodigies tells the story of Grace Silverstein, a multiracial teen musical prodigy, who flies to Poland to perform in a showcase for young prodigies. However, nothing is as it seems, and Grace must flee with Japanese graphics prodigy Ichirou Shimizu and his chaperone Ayana Hashimoto. Before long, Grace and her companions grapple with the fact that they are Prodigies, people with preternatural talent. An emergent threat against the United Nations on General Assembly Day leaves Grace and her compatriots a choice: weaponize their talents or watch people die.

I am new to the fiction writing world. When I am not writing, I am an associate professor of family resource management at a regional Midwestern university. I have written several research articles under my name (vita available upon request). I have written several manuscripts in the magical realism/literary crossover genre. My work is distinguished by its roots in psychology and sociology, emotional honesty, consequences of actions, and poetic word use.

Sincerely,

Lauren Leach-Steffens

Acknowledgements and dedications

When I am about to embark on another querying round, sending agents a bundle of my work that generally sells my book as a product, I need something positive to anchor me, because it’s a brutal process with lots of rejections and (so far) no acceptances.

To keep myself positive, I compose acknowledgement and dedication sections.

For example, Prodigies is being developmentally edited right now. In the acknowledgements, I will need to include Chelsea Harper (the editor); Marcel Borowiec (who supplied translation help on one short section); my beta-readers (I’m hoping Sheri Roush and Martha Stewart agree to another round of reading); and last but nowhere near least, my husband Richard Leach-Steffens for letting me bounce story ideas off him and keeping me plied with coffee.

Meanwhile, Voyageurs is about to go into the query cycle after a revision. I would acknowledge some of the people above, particularly Sheri and Martha and Richard, so I’m thinking of dedications.
The trick to dedications is that you want it to be sincere, interesting, and in fitting with your image.

Oh, God, what is my image?

I would call my image ageless with a dry and quirky sense of humor. (As opposed to real-life me, which is a little more goofy). So let me write the dedication: To my husband Richard, for his unfailing support and endless pot of coffee.

To Query or Not to Query (again)

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

I’m contemplating sending out queries — the packets of synopsis and short excerpt and stuff the agents request — again. Even after the over 100 rejections I’ve gained over the years, I want to try again. Just in case someone’s in a better mood or something.

I’m thinking of trying something different:

Going by a pen name?
Going by a MALE pen name? It would burn my butt if I got a agent’s representation as a male and not as a female (but imagine that first meeting)!
Send in to literary fiction agents in addition to (or instead of) science fiction/fantasy agents?
Just giving up?
Retitling the book?

I’m not sure why I’m contemplating this again — could it be because I’m sitting on seven finished books, five of which I believe are publishable? Or that I don’t sit still very well, I don’t watch tv, and my Internet use mainly consists of blogging and researching (books and plants)? Or that I refuse to believe that my writing isn’t good enough? Or maybe I’m just a masochist?

Or maybe, just maybe, the stars will align and a receptive agent will take a chance on something just a little different. Or tell me what needs fixing instead of the standard “It’s not you, it’s me” form letter.

I really want to reach the next part of my journey.

Something I learned at Archon — how to write a query letter

I learned many useful and encouraging things at Archon, including the fact that many published writer I saw on panels had upward of 100 and even 200 rejections before getting an agent or getting published. (Whew! I have so many more to look for!)

The most helpful thing I learned, however, was how to write a query letter. I’ll write my first-draft letter to illustrate the process. What I learned, above all, was that a query letter writes like a business letter. This will be a query letter to an agent — most people start with getting an agent, because most publishers won’t look at a manuscript unless an agent hands it to them.

The first paragraph is a brief introduction and where you found out the agent was available:

My name is Lauren Leach-Steffens, and I am interested in finding an agent. I saw that you were accepting new clients on your website, http://www.xxxxxx.xxx.

The middle paragraph — here is twist #1 on the business letter — is devoted to a synopsis of the book you are emailing a sample of. This synopsis should be the sort of thing you’d put on the back cover. It should give an idea of the main characters and plot, without giving up the ending. In other words, the sort of thing I put on the back of my business cards:

Josh Young, an aspiring writer, envisions a mystical garden, which becomes real in horticulturalist Jeanne Beaumont’s hands, and they become targeted by a shadowy cabal that puts their visions and their lives in danger.

I think it could be a little, but not much, longer, so let’s try this:

In the current day, Josh Young, an aspiring writer, sees a mystical garden in his visions. Permaculturist Jeanne Beaumont finds herself threatened by forces inside and outside academia for reasons she can’t decipher. Joining hearts and forces, they create a gestalt to turn one of Jeanne’s permaculture guilds into the Garden of Josh’s visions, and they become targeted by a shadowy cabal that puts their visions and their lives in danger.

The third paragraph is where I introduce myself:

Lauren Leach-Steffens, the author, has published several academic articles in the field of family economics, and has recently decided to write contemporary fantasy novels. Her work reflects themes of identity, pacifism in wartime, sacrifice, and ordinary heroes.

If you think this needs something, please suggest! Richard thinks the word “gestalt” is pretentious; I think it’s entirely accurate given the circumstances.

A short note …

I will be participating in Camp NaNo in July, and if you want to join me, please do! If you want to watch my word count progress, look me up. I’m lleachie, as I am everywhere else on the interwebs.
In other news, I sent another query, this time to Quirk Publishing. Wish me luck.

I love you all, and so do the Nephilim cats, who will hover in front of your face to get your attention.