Dear Reader:

Thank you for reading this blog.

I know you as data — what country hits come from. I know what posts are being read (but not who is reading what posts), and I know what times random people are posting. Here’s what I know about my readers:

1) I have about thirty hits a day on average. About half of those are from the United States. The rest are from a variety of countries, with Germany holding second place. Other regulars have been from France, Canada, Ukraine, Portugal, and Unknown Region are the most regular.

2) Some of you find me through Facebook, which means I probably know you. Some of you find me from Twitter, and I don’t know if I know you or not. Some referring links are from bit.ly and IFTTT. I’d love to know how the IFTTT link works.

3) Some of you are probably bots. For example, I get about three hits a day from a web address that specializes in “web cam girls”. I don’t follow those links anymore.

4) I don’t know WHO you are. I would love to know who you are. If you’re a regular reader, you know I have said this before, because I mean it. I’m the sort of person who would not only like to sign autographs for readers someday, but chat with readers.

Please, if you know someone who would like this blog (writers, readers, my aunt Edna*) please amplify this and pass it on to them!

Love, Lauren

* I don’t have an Aunt Edna.

An Old-Fashioned Girl in an SEO World

I’m getting bewildered by these newfangled ways of finding readers.

I always thought the situation was “get in contact with agents; if you’re any good, you’ll land an agent.” That doesn’t seem to work for me. It doesn’t seem to wok for a lot of people, given the number of listings on Amazon Kindle that are self-published, the huge number of volumes on WattPad, the burgeoning indie press movement, a few of which seem little different than the vanity press …

A friend suggested I try WattPad. I’m building two works through installments, the suggested WattPad way. One of them is a set of short stories about my alternative world where demi-humans with great power live among humans; the other is a romance centering on good Santas, bad Santas, and the secret Santas out there.

As far as I know, I’m the only one who has looked at them, and I’ve looked at them a number of times because I love to see my words in print. Given the lack of *ahem* acclaim, I decided to look at the advice they give their users:

1. “Find famous people who look like your characters and post their pictures here.” It might just be me, but I wouldn’t post someone’s picture for potentially thousands to see (there are books on WattPad with thousands of hits) without their permission, no matter how famous they were. (David Chiang, if you are reading this, one of my characters looks like you and I have not posted your picture on WattPad.)

2. “Invite friends.” How many times can you invite friends before they get horribly upset at you? I post on Facebook, and people are free to read or not read — usually, not read, I guess.

3. An entire section on “How To Get Reads, Votes, and Comments – A Guide.” I can’t wrap my mind around this — this would take up enough time that I would never get to write again.

I grew up in a meritocracy: if you were good, you would get noticed. And, frankly, I was good — I was the first National Merit Scholarship winner from my high school. Things have changed, and for the first time in my life, I’m having trouble embracing change.

Reflection

Every morning, I sit in the living room on the loveseat where I keep my computer desk. I stare at the screen waiting for inspiration to write this blog, and to write on my latest creation. As I’m a morning person, morning is my best time to write, uncomplicated by the day’s work and accompanied by coffee.

I literally stare at the post editor of Blogger every morning wondering what to write about. I don’t ever think I’ve come up with a topic the night before. Writing this blog is like Chicago-school improv* — I pay attention and see what see what hits me.

I’ve written on writing techniques, psychological techniques used as writing techniques, and writers’ block. I’ve talked about characters, themes, and storylines, both in general and in my writing.

I’ve written about my life — journeys, mental health issues, rejections, and deep depression. I’ve mused on muses and coffee and other sources of creativity. I’ve shared emotions — sometimes deep emotions.

I write about social issues such as ostracism, sexual and physical abuse, discrimination, and abuse of power. I don’t write about politics for the most part, because politics aren’t going to be what cures these social ills — the Peaceable Kingdom, you and I and all those who want to share the world with those not like us, we will lessen those social ills if we extend our arms to help, one tiny moment at a time.

I have been writing in the blog since April 10, 2017, so I’m approaching the one year anniversary of the blog. I’ve never written this regularly in a journal since — since ever. I think it’s because you’re reading, whoever you are, that I feel obligated to keep on writing. I don’t know why you read this blog — you’re a Facebook friend of mine, you’ve stumbled on this blog by way of the labels on notes; a friend of a friend told you to check it out, you have a secret crush on me (just kidding!), you’re an agent on the verge of adopting me (I wish!), you’re a stalker … it doesn’t matter; you keep me going.

* Chicago-school improvisation (improv) is a form of humor I grew up with. Its best applications, believe it or not, were in children’s television programs of the era.

More to think about.

In the last 24 hours, I got one nomination in my Kindle Scout campaign. It’s not your fault, friends; there are only 40-some of you.

Like my lack of response from agents, this is not proof that I’m a bad writer; just that I don’t interest readers.

I can’t write to the public. I feel that fiction has too many sexy couples, military maneuvers, dudebro heroes, near-invisible women, and irresistible vampires. I want to see male characters run the gamut from delicate to nerdy to comical, and not always powerful, Rich, or ruggedly handsome. I want my female characters to be strong, competent, professional, essential to the plot, and not necessarily beautiful or sexy. I want my backgrounds to be unfamiliar yet familiar scapes — college towns, ecocollectives, vast darkness. I want pacifism against war to be my battle in a world where war vs war is the default.

The cost of this is that people in dominant culture will not be able to insert themselves into the story, and the background contains little familiarity. The status quo will not be supported. I want to open hearts, not offer up Same Shit, Differenr Day.

This gives me more to think about — am I an author if nobody reads me? If it worth the time I spend? Do I like my fantasy worlds enough to live in then without giving tours?

And what happens to this blog?

To My Readers — a virtual cup of coffee

All of us have excellent stories to tell.

The shortest story I’ve ever been told: “I was going to do my banking today. So I went to the bank, and it’s on fire.”

The short story best relying on imagination: “Remember when there was a bounty on coyotes in Missouri? My mom hit one and threw it in the trunk to take to the sheriff. Too bad it wasn’t dead.”

The best short story I played a role in: “I had a dream last night we were all late for the bank robbery. That was alright, though, because we were all zombies.”

I collect other people’s stories — the one about a friend playing war games in a park, who runs into some woods to take a leak at the edge of a cliff, only to look down and find himself exposed above a two-lane highway. The one about the hunter attacked by a rabid deer and the one about the woman who shot a deer while sitting on the toilet. My grandmother Iverson’s malapropisms and my great-great grandmother who could stop bleeding by the laying on of hands. Silly and clever and maladroit and mournful — I hold stories for people. And holding stories makes me happier than almost anything (except coffee).

I know all of you have stories of all kinds. I would love to sit with each and every one of you (assuming none of you are slashers or stalkers) over a cup of coffee (or beverage of your choice) and find out who you are from your stories.

I know this vision is against all the rules of the Internet, where we all read each others’ Facebook posts without remarking, and half the posts are reposts anyhow.

So, again, I’d like to hear your comments, and more importantly, hear your stories. (We’ll have to imagine the coffee.)

Here’s to you, readers!