Day 8 Lenten Meditation: Silence

How do we know ourselves if not for silence? We only know our outward selves — our careers, our social networks, our consumer-driven wants and needs. With silence we lose our external selves for a moment, and find our internal one. And then we pass beyond self to the big Unity, the center of silence.

There are many ways to find silence. Unplugging from the phone, meditating, silent worship, walking alone in a peaceful place. Anything that quiets not only the external but the internal chatter, our constant defining of the world.

As a Quaker, I am accustomed to silent worship. We believe that in the silence, The Divine speaks to us. Silence isn’t only reserved for worship, but in everyday life. We believe that we must live simple lives so that there’s undistracted space for us to listen to our small, still voice. That’s another type of silence.

A little bit of silence is my prescription to you.

Day 42 Reflection: Truth

Truth sets us free, but often in a way that feels like a wrecking ball. Or the silence just before the tornado hits, with its gut-crawling suspense. The silence after the crash, after the storm, shelters the whisper of two words: “What now?”

My truth: I have been struggling for seven years, ever since my diagnosis with bipolar and the loss of my original department. I have struggled with depression when my medications fail and when I face major setbacks. The tricks I’ve learned (cognitive journaling and meditation) bring me to zero but not above. Some days, I cycle through contradicting my negative talk and affirmations almost constantly. I believe that, because I make mistakes, that I am worthless.

My truth: I need to go back to counseling for a spell.

The silence left by the wrecking ball. I, a shell of a building, waiting for the materials to rebuild.

Another poem

Tell me a story —
tell me about the echo in the hallway
when you sing,
tell me of silence.
Tell me the word that will help me understand you,
the word of your truth.
Tell me your name.