Christmas and the Days After

It’s Christmas day, and I’m sitting in the Great Hall at Starved Rock State Park, in front of the fireplace. My husband just snapped a picture of the fireplace and some Christmas decor for us:



Despite my fretting, it has been a good Christmas. I knew pretty much what I was getting before Christmas, because that’s how Richard and I do our shopping. He managed to surprise me with the chocolate in the stocking (given that I’m eating responsibly again, the chocolate should lasr me a long time.

Once Christmas is over, I’m going to need to strategize. January and February are hard for me, particularly because the weather is so bleak and the celebrations are over. I’m more prone to depression at this time. I will have to find things to celebrate and time to celebrate them until springtime comes with its sun.

But in the meantime, Wingless Dreamer wants a headshot of me so they can publish one of my poems. That’s a positive.

To Query or Not to Query (again)

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

I’m contemplating sending out queries — the packets of synopsis and short excerpt and stuff the agents request — again. Even after the over 100 rejections I’ve gained over the years, I want to try again. Just in case someone’s in a better mood or something.

I’m thinking of trying something different:

  • Going by a pen name?
  • Going by a MALE pen name? It would burn my butt if I got a agent’s representation as a male and not as a female (but imagine that first meeting)!
  • Send in to literary fiction agents in addition to (or instead of) science fiction/fantasy agents?
  • Just giving up?
  • Retitling the book? 
I’m not sure why I’m contemplating this again — could it be because I’m sitting on seven finished books, five of which I believe are publishable? Or that I don’t sit still very well, I don’t watch tv, and my Internet use mainly consists of blogging and researching (books and plants)? Or that I refuse to believe that my writing isn’t good enough? Or maybe I’m just a masochist?
Or maybe, just maybe, the stars will align and a receptive agent will take a chance on something just a little different. Or tell me what needs fixing instead of the standard “It’s not you, it’s me” form letter. 
I really want to reach the next part of my journey.

Procrastination

We procrastinate for several reasons:

  1. Because the tasks lack challenge (Housework, for example)
  2. Because the tasks are too challenging (Getting up in the morning?)
  3. Because the tasks are monotonous (Housework, for example)
  4. Because of fear of failure (Why I have five manuscripts that I haven’t marketed aggressively)
  5. Because of fear of success (Honestly. Success changes lives)
  6. Because we just dislike the task (Housework, for example)

In other words, we want to perform tasks that are challenging but not too challenging, have enough novelty to engage us but utilizes our skills, and offer reasonable success that doesn’t fall outside our comfort zone. If we don’t perceive that the task will grant us all that, we procrastinate.

Many factors inside and outside ourselves can create an atmosphere ripe for procrastination. Illness and worry can ramp up our belief that tasks are too challenging. Depression can enhance our feelings of failure. Jarring background music may burden us with more challenge, while bland or crowded surroundings may increase our perception of monotony.

The process of writing yields all sorts of procrastination pitfalls.  Some tasks — proofreading, for example — can be boring. Revising a novel or poem can challenge writers to the point of stress. Search and replace on a document can be monotonous (Scrivener, which is what I use to compose my writing, has no automatic replace). The difficulty in breaking into the market with one’s writing can enhance fear of failure, and daydreaming can enhance fear of success. Some parts of writing, such as writing a synopsis, can be annoying.

We can trick ourselves out of procrastination. Some tricks I use are:

  1. Breaking the task into smaller pieces. For example, I lay out the outlines for my books in quarter-chapters. Instead of feeling that sense of accomplishment only after finishing a chapter, I feel it with every quarter-chapter. (Small, frequent doses of accomplish reduce the fear of failure and the monotony).
  2. Switching up where I write (this is why writing retreats are so popular)
  3. Skipping forward to a more rewarding part of the book (more challenge, more motivation)
  4. Skipping forward to a less challenging part of the book (in my current book, that means writing in the Michigan hideout part of the story — less challenging than piecing together the malls in Gdynia (which is pronounced Goo-DOON-ya for you English speakers)
  5. Starting my writing day by promising myself I can quit writing after 10 minutes (I’m dealing with minor depression today — this is my best strategy for writing with depression).
Procrastination is not our friend, but we can negotiate a cease-fire with it.
Thanks for reading. I love you all.