Day 6 Camp NaNo — and a frustrating mystery

Day 6 Camp NaNo: I’ve made 10,000 works thus far, and hope to get another 2000 today. I’m pacing myself the way I would a regular NaNo, which is a 50,000-word month. Do I worry about writing too fast? Not really — the first draft is there to get the ideas down on paper, and then there’s editing. Lots of editing. Sometimes you realize that no amount of editing will save your book, such as when I finally gave up on Gaia’s Hands after the Kindle Scout campaign. Maybe I’ll write that whole book over from scratch some day. 

The mystery has to do with the fact that my Kindle Scout stats haven’t updated in three days. So last time I saw stats, I had 524 hits and no hours in hot and trending. That’s what I have now, because three days’ data is not showing up. Someone answered my email and said, “Thank you for reporting the problem, we will look into it.”
So I’m a little annoyed and a little paranoid (see what I did there?) If the data didn’t transfer is one thing, but if the data went missing entirely, I may have made the hot and trending list and never known it, in which case I would not win to the next step and I would not get published under their plan when I rightfully deserved it. 
So Dear Universe, cut me a break. 

Writing prompts and Storytelling Circle

I started a tradition among a group of friends when I was a graduate student in college called Storytelling Circle. We didn’t do it more than a half-dozen times, but the process created not only interesting stories (if a bit disjointed at times). but profound insights. I tried to write down one of the stories from memory, but the magic of the story was in the telling, and it didn’t seem as mystical as it did in the darkened chapel of Channing-Murray as the six of us sprawled on the floor in a circle facing each other.

I put the idea of the storytelling circle in a book, Apocalypse — 

AAAGH! I can’t find my copy of Apocalypse!
Richard, thank goodness, says he has a copy of it. Let’s try this again …
(Half an hour of stubborn technology later — )

*******

That evening, after dinner, the residents set up a large semi-circle three rows deep facing the risers. David Beaumont sat in the facing seat, Allan’s walking stick in his hand. 

“The rules of a storytelling circle are as follows. First of all, it’s not necessary to follow someone else’s story; you tell the story that’s within you. Second: When you feel you’re done with your section of the story, hand someone else the stick. Or if someone feels moved to speak, go up there and ask for the stick. Third: If someone hands you the story stick, you can either take it or pass it on. If you really don’t want the stick at all, you should probably sit outside the semicircle. 

“I’ll start the story, as I’m in the hot seat.” Mr. Beaumont made a show of settling himself into the seat, then looked at those assembled. Most of the collective had attended. “Once upon a time, as people say, there was a woman, an average woman. She was neither beautiful nor homely, not tall nor short, not fat nor thin. She was, in all ways, ordinary, or so she said — Jeanne Marie Beaumont, you sit down right now!” David Beaumont chuckled and chided his daughter, who waggled a finger at her father, then sat down.

“Anyhow, before I was rudely interrupted by my impudent daughter … ” Mr. Beaumont, with his excellent timing, waited through the group’s laughter. “This ordinary woman had only one thing special about her — she could cook. She could cook fabulously. She could have been the chef at any fancy restaurant in Chicago, or even New York City.” 

“Woo hoo, Mary!” hooted the kitchen crew to their leader. Mary ducked and smiled.

“Our cook, let’s call her Sheila, thought this wasn’t a very handy skill if one wanted to, say, change the world. And she wanted to change the world. Or at least her little corner of it. Because — “

David Beaumont stood up slowly, then stepped off the riser and walked around and around the semicircle a few times. He handed the stick to Larry Lindenwood, and sat in Larry’s seat after Larry vacated it. Dr. Lindenwood stepped up the riser and settled himself.

“Everyone, deep down, wants to change the world. It’s the nature of man. Everyone wants to remake the world in their own image. That image might be fascist or capitalist or communitarian, green or materialistic. In Sheila’s case, however, she wanted to — “ Dr. Lindenwood stood up and reached over to give the stick to Celestine Eisner, who stepped up to the chair in her dancing gait.

“Sheila wanted to make the world beautiful. She put a lot of time into thinking about what a beautiful world would look like. After all, some people think steel skyscrapers are beautiful while others think forests are beautiful, and some people think that Picasso’s beagle in Chicago is beautiful even though some people think it’s a rusty piece of scrap metal. So what did it mean to have a beautiful world? After much thinking and thinking and thinking, she decided — “ Celestine skipped over to give the stick to Micah Infofer, the nine-year-old son of Sarah and Brock. Micah ran up to the stage and plumped himself down in the folding chair.

“Sheila decided that beautiful meant color! Why did barns have to be red when they could be purple? Why weren’t there any red-and-white striped houses? Shouldn’t trees have colored streamers hanging from them? She was really getting into this, and then she thought — “ Micah ran back to his mother and handed her the stick.

Sarah Inhofer strolled to the chair, stick in hand, and sat down. “Sheila, as we’ve said before, was a cook. She didn’t know how to paint a house purple or put colored streamers in trees, even though she could see in her mind what they looked like. She could, however, make incredibly pretty cookies. She could make cookies that looked just like flowers, or bunnies, or all sorts of amazing things. So that is what she did. Violet bunnies and blue roses and polka-dotted cats and plaid tulips and … all sorts of amazingly pretty things. She sold them at a lemonade stand to try to make money toward making the world even prettier. One day …” Sarah abruptly stood up and walked toward Larry Rogers.

“Aw, no, lady,” Larry groaned as she approached him.

“You don’t want to play?” Sarah put her hands on her hips.

“Well, okay.” Larry Rogers took the stick and clomped up to the chair. “One day, there was this guy, let’s call him Steve — “

“Larry?” Stephan Olasz glared at Larry. “Be careful what you say.”

“Sure, buddy,” Larry grinned ferally. “No problem. Steve stopped by the lemonade stand and looked at Sheila’s pretty cookies. ‘Hey, those are really pretty cookies, ma’am,’ Steve said. ‘I think I’ve got some sheep that would go good with those cookies.’ 

“’Mutton and cookies?’ Sheila asked. ‘Eww.’” Much of the room agreed vocally with Sheila’s assessment.

“’Naw, Sheila, I’ve got rainbow sheep. They’d look great in the same corner of the world as your cookies.’

“’Ohh,’ Sheila responded. ‘We need more things in the world than cookies and sheep. We need purple barns and red and white striped houses and trees with streamers tied to them.’”

“’I got some friends,” Steve said.

“’Really? You have friends?’ Sheila marveled.” Stephen stood up and glared at Larry again. ”I guess it’s my time to hand off the stick — “ Larry ambled down and handed the stick to Ty Gordon. Ty unfolded his lanky limbs and sauntered up to the chair, then chuckled as he sat down.

“Well,” Ty began, then paused. For a long time. When the laughter subsided, Ty began again. “Everyone knows you can’t save the world with two people. Or perhaps you can, because Sheila’s lemonade stand brought together quite a few people. Builders who built purple barns and striped houses, people who tied streamers in trees, and even farmers who raised violet bunnies. The polka-dotted cats moved in on their own volition, because cats do that. Enough people who did enough different things that they could make their corner of the world colorful. And so they did — “ Ty leapt out of t
he chair and handed the stick to Luke Dunstan, who peered curiously at it, then stepped ceremoniously up to the chair and sat down.

“However,” Luke said ominously, “some people are jealous of those blessed by creativity. One such person was a man named — hmm … “ Luke paused, because Archetypes struggled to create.

“There’s already a Steve, so —“ He stood up, and strode over to Adam, who took the stick with a fey grin and glided up to the chair.

“There was a man called Zhengfu,” Adam began as Allan commented, “Did you look that up in the Chinese dictionary?” Adam looked down his nose at Allan, then smiled and winked at him, the smile transforming his Asian features into something quite lovely. “Zhengfu felt threatened by anything he could not understand, and he could not understand this town — for it had grown into a town — that had exploded in a riot of color and music — yes, they held impromptu accordion concerts on festoon-strewn street corners and classical concerts in the park under the trees. Even the cats held concerts, and avant-garde aficionados attended their concerts. But Zhengfu thought to himself — “ Adam grinned at everyone, and then swiftly delivered the stick to Allan. “Your turn, sweetheart,” he whispered loud enough for everyone to hear.

Allan sauntered up to the chair, sat down, and paused for a moment. “I must stop Christmas from coming! But how?” Much of the room howled with laughter, although most of the Archetypes and Nephilim seemed puzzled at this. Adam and Lilith laughed loudest, because they had been on the run Earthside for millennia and had caught on to popular culture catchphrases.

“I’ll explain it to you later,” Lilith reassured her father, Luke.

p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-indent: 30.1px; font: 12.0px ‘Courier New’} p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-indent: 30.1px; font: 12.0px ‘Courier New’; color: #232323} span.s1 {color: #000000}

Just as Allan handed the stick to Alan Sutton, Eric stood up. “I don’t want to alarm anyone,” he said in his dry basso voice, “but I just saw about five people with guns approach the gate.” 

Removing the Growth of Words

Yesterday was a good editing day.

Generally, a writer is supposed to write the first draft, blocking out the basic action of the story, and then edit. But I had gotten into a muddle, and I knew it, and I couldn’t write more unless I found the muddle and corrected it.

I knew the muddle originated in the chapter that was half again as long as the other chapters, but I had to decide which material drove the plot and which material was extraneous and superficial. That gave me a formula to work with.

It turned out I had tried to give too much background on my mythical beings, the Archetypes, and their half-human offspring, the Nephilim: “Here, Anna, here’s everything you need to know about your ancestry.”

Last night, I asked myself the following questions:

  • Do people give hours of expository dialogue in real life? No.
  • Is this just going to give Anna Schmidt, the protagonist, information overload? Yes.
  • Have I written myself in a corner, because I’ve overexplained one plot line to the detriment of the other (She’s in danger, the whole world’s in danger?) Yes.
  • Am I going to have to edit this mess to proceed? I’m afraid so.

The murder of two thousand something words (and not even great words) later, I’m happier with the chapter. Not final draft happy, but first draft happy.

The moral of the story is that some words harm the story as a whole, and surgical excision is necessary.

One more thing: Portugal reader, who are you? You make me curious.

Happy (US) Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a day where we express our thanks for the bounties in our lives. Personally, I do that every day (unless of course I’m depressed, which happens on occasion). I open the door of my life to a blur of tumbling colors and laughter and the search for the perfect words. This is why, if you meet me on the street and ask me how I am, I get this silly grin and say “Really good!” and then run out of words.  Thank you to the people I run into on the street who put up with my spaciness.

With the colors and laughter and words comes the desire to make things better for people. I feel so powerless sometimes, what with the ugliness that passes for patriotism and nationalism and even religion these days. My seven-year-old alter ego Marcie believes that if everyone was nice to each other, everything would be better. I personally think that if those who have more would just share the power, the wealth, the love, the dignity, the recognition — things would be okay.  Thank you to the people who passionately work for equality and equity, especially for the culturally and ethnically diverse, the neurodiverse, and those in the LGBTQIA rainbow.

I have been working on giving up things and holding on to people. I don’t do this as well as I’d like — I would just as soon curl up and suck my thumb as talk “small talk”. I’m not an introvert; I just want to exchange stories and talk about what we’re passionate about. Thank you to those of you who have gifted me with those kinds of conversations in my life.

Sometimes things get in the way of life — in my case it’s my neurodiversity (bipolar 2) and side effects of the medications it takes to help me be highly productive. Sometimes I’m weepy; sometimes I stagger and lose my balance, or my hands shake; sometimes I get sick from being too warm or too cold. Thank you to my doc, Dr. Jura, for listening and working with me to get my meds to work for me.

My life includes a career, a house, five cats, the most understanding husband in the world, and an imagination. I’m thankful for that most of all.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my US friends and readers, and to all of you, thank you again for reading!

Once upon a time

My goal was 2000 words today. I’m already at 3000, and I might get more done today.

******

Thought on my mind:

Once upon a time, I had a muse.

What is a muse? In Greek mythology, they were the go-to goddesses of the Arts. There were seven, one for each of the Greek arts. In popular imagination, they are people who inspire artists, writers, and the like. Muses are usually women, but only because women do not take their birthright as artists to claim a muse. I am not like other women; I will have my muses.

Once upon a time, I had a muse.

Why did I want a muse?

There is a type of energy one can only get from a giddy affection for someone. It’s an affection that has no future, has no lust, has nothing but regard for the other person and — oh, the beauty! The beauty of that person!

It’s pure ludus, as the Greeks would term it — an infatuation that would only shatter were reality to intrude. It’s embarrassing, painful, and distilled into perfection when the person merely utters, “hi”.

When that person says “I’m following your progress”, then that person becomes a muse. That ludus energy gives a creative boost that’s like being high on the pictures behind your eyes.

Once upon a time, I had a muse.

Who is my muse?

I will never tell you. I will never tell him.

Once upon a time, I had a muse.

Notice that phrase is in past tense. My muse has gone.  All I can do when a muse disappears is let him go, and hope he forgives me.

PS: The Words Are Important

I had just enough words left in my mind for a poem:

Just words,
all I have to offer
in the darkling storm.

You, my stranger,
read the words as rain
from a storm you cannot touch.

To you, the story
is that you found the words
when no one else noticed,

the words only important
when they crawled into you,
and became fluttering birds.

PS: Heart as Large as an Autumn Moon.

I don’t want anyone to think I’m an expert at this. I have not yet found an agent or gotten published. I just consider this blog a way to communicate with people, let people read my stuff, and teach myself by teaching others. That being said, the alternative name for this blog was “The Words are Important”. I chose the name “Words Like Me” because of the pun in English — “Do the words like me or ARE they like me?” (Both, I think).

Words are my way of expressing myself, because my voice has grown rusty, I have pretty noticeable coordination problems at times, and my ability to draw improved till fifth grade and then stopped. I am from a creative family — in fact, I sometimes think I am the least talented. My mother designed embroidery projects that became poster art and painted Easter eggs with flowers. My father designed projects; the china cabinet he made me out of an old wooden crate and panes from our 100-year-old house is my most prized possession. My sister does photography and my mother told me repeatedly that she wrote better than I did. My youngest niece has considerable graphic talent.

I feel the need to express myself. I had a childhood of emotional and sexual abuse and bullying. I once had a classmate try to run my boyfriend and I over with a car. I was an easy victim because I was emotionally sensitive and socially awkward. I survived because I have uncanny emotional strength, not because it wasn’t all that bad. I’m still socially awkward at times and emotionally sensitive, but I get away with it because I’m an adult now. And because it provides the fuel for me to write.

My writing includes themes of overcoming dystopia through human resilience, finding beauty in people around me, and moods, moods, and moods. I want you to read these. If I write these things, I do so because I wear my heart on the outside.

I want to know you. I want to know you if you write; I want to know you if you don’t write. I want to watch your creativity, even if you don’t think you’re creative. I want you to critique me (honestly) or just say “Hi”! I want you to take my words and tuck them into your heart and go out and love one another.

My heart is large enough for new family members. If you want to be family, let me know.

Words

Sometimes
words weigh heavily upon my shoulders,
and a touch on my elbow prickles for half an hour.

I’m never “fine”,
but swimming in a torrent of words
about my pursuit of one crystal accomplishment.

Sometimes,
I feel my words
fall to the ground without being heard.

These are a few of my favorite words …

I learned to read at age three. I did not go charging out the gate reading at an adult level — in fact,
I’m told I spent a couple refusing to read anything that didn’t have pictures on one side of the page. Still, I was ahead of my classmates once I reached kindergarten — “The Little Engine that Could? I read that LAST year.” My poor teacher didn’t know whether to yell or laugh.

By the time I was seven, I could read the front page of the paper and Readers’ Digest. In other words, I read at a sixth-grade level. I did not always comprehend at a sixth-grade level. The sentence “Drop for drop, a bee’s venom is more venomous than that of a cobra” sent me screaming to my mom with, “The bees are going to kill us!” It took my mom some time to explain that “drop for drop” to my satisfaction.
The case I’m trying to make is that I’ve had a lot of time to accumulate words — big words, small words, words in other languages, archaic words. I’d like to share a few of my favorite words here:
  • Flabbergasted — astonishment with a sense of speechlessness and probably some discomfort. My sister once asked my mother why I used the word ‘flabbergasted’ when surprised was a perfectly good word. Mom came to my rescue, “I’m surprised when someone gives me a present. I’m flabbergasted when someone drops their drawers in front of me.” 
  • Eke — to support oneself with difficulty or to allocate scarce supplies. An old word, “eked” is elegant in its simplicity — “He eked out a living in the desert.”
  • Defenestrate — to throw out a window. Too specific? The official definition suggests that a person is the proper object of defenestration, but I have threatened to defenestrate my computer at various times.
  • Palaver — prolonged and idle discussion; also the name of a type of African sauce made from pulverized greens and spices and served over rice, fufu, or dumplings. I have encountered both definitions; the latter makes for tasty food.
  • Vitriol — I hated Stephen Donaldson’s Thomas Covenant series. My father did as well — he suggested killing off the main character in the first chapter and saving us all some annoyance. But the few pages I read introduced me to a perfectly good word — vitriol, which means cruel and bitter criticism. I think Donaldson used it for every little rant, however, so I’m not sure he used it correctly. He loved the word, though.
  • Caterwaul — the shrill wailing a cat makes. You can hear the noise when you read the word, can’t you?
  • Mystique — I love the sound, I love the look, I love the idea of the word, which means the air of mystery someone or something carries. I, myself, have no mystique, being an open book with the words “Ask Me Anything” across the spine. 
I’m looking for more words. Drop me a response with one of your favorite words (English or not) with definitions!