Truth be told…

A couple years ago, I put together a map using Sketchup, a three-d sketching program which architects and other designers use to lay out inside and outside scapes. At the time, I was convinced it was a great two-dimensional map-making program, until I accidentally discovered that my two-dimensional map with borrowed buildings from the Sketchup Warehouse had become a three-dimensional map. And my expectations went up, and once I had a computer upgrade, I made sure all the buildings and plants were above ground and properly organized, and it was a pretty nice map.

My current mapping experience (for Hearts are Mountains) makes me think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew. (International readers, do you have that idiom?) First of all, I have to create the basement dwellings from a tracing of a picture, and then make them three-dimensional (which I am nowhere near ready for, having barely created in two dimensions. I tried to trace the picture once, and the geodesic dome “roof” (aboveground part) looked like a spider on LSD traced it. Nobody in the 3-D warehouse crew has made a rendering of this underground building, so I’m on my own.

It’s not top priority — first of all because I’m intimidated as heck by the challenge. Second of all, because I have other priorities of things I have to get done like two novels (although I’m struggling with those as well). Third — see #2.

Face it — I need some inspiration, because it seems to be somewhat drained from the class I’m taking. I don’t have a good flow of ideas right now. I’m angling for a change in scenery today and a day devoted to creativity, a day where I can make magic.

My schedule and writers’ block

I am frustrated because my routine is out of whack.

I never thought I was one of these people who needed a routine. It’s out of step with my vision of myself as an artistic free spirit — you know, wait for inspiration, do as you feel moved to do, be spontaneous…

That doesn’t work when you have a day job. My day job (being a professor) has a definite schedule arranged around when the classes I teach are scheduled. Those have first priority, then meeting times and dates and office hours fill in the rest of my time. I try not to schedule large gaps in my day because those will become de facto office hours and I will struggle to get work done in-between students.

So during the school year, I tend to find some time to work in my office hours, although that’s rare; work on classroom type stuff tends to happen on weekends and afternoons; morning is when I write creatively. A perfect schedule.

Then summer throws it off — at least as much because the nature of the work changes as much as the arrangement of the time. It would seem I have a lot more time with school “out” for the semester. But my workload is very, very different. I supervise 23 interns, and scheduling meetings with them is somewhat random. Other than that, my job work includes writing a chapter for a book I’m editing on moulage and volunteer management for disaster training, and revising two classes, one of them pretty drastically. I tackle these first, because they keep me fed. Then, my online class (I’m the student, not the teacher) requires attention because I don’t want to fail my first class in years.

Finally, I can schedule working on this blog and working on Prodigies and then Whose Hearts are Mountains. The blog gets worked on first, because it’s an excellent warmup to writing, although I’ve been writing really short entries lately. My readership has fallen the last couple days, too.

At the end, I’ve had writers’ block when it comes to the written projects. I schedule them for late afternoon/evening because I don’t often get out (I’m in a small town and schedule my coffee times during the day), but by then, I don’t feel very motivated.

I think I have to have a good talk with my characters tonight. We’re just about at the climax of Prodigies, and they’re strangely reticent. Right about now, they’re having their last supper before the operation in which they’re going to save a packed General Assembly room at the UN from being set on fire. Time for me to listen to them — if I have time.

Finding my Characters Again

I haven’t written much in a while. I find I’m barely writing more than a sentence at a time in either of my works in progress for at least a month. This is what depression and medication reactions (Today’s vocabulary word: Parasthesia) and rejections do to my motivation. No muses either. But I’m not going to whine about that.

I’m going to try to write today, though, because there’s not much else to do. A minor ice storm has packed a punch beyond its reputation, making roads slick enough that several semis and a MODOT (Missouri Department of Transportation) truck went into ditches. I wanted to go to Kansas City River Market to pick up some unusual Asian vegetables and see if I could find a Keiffer Lime tree, and to see if Planters had some intriguing plant stuff. It’s not happening today.

I think what I need to do is get introduced to my characters again.

In Prodigies, my main character is Grace Silverstein, a teenage mixed-heritage (black/Jewish) viola prodigy with a gift for influencing the emotions of her audiences. She’s been in residential music schools all her life and has had very little contact with her family before they died in a plane crash. She tends to be sardonic, probably as a cover for the very real loneliness she has faced all her life. She is currently on the run from shadowy forces that call themselves Second World Renaissance. They want to use Grace for her talent — or kill her if she will not cooperate.

Ichirou, another teen prodigy, has become her ally in their escapes. Ichirou, from Japan, is a former hikikomori, or recluse, which he entered into at a very young age. Through the residential program Renesansu, he has developed skills and resilience, but he is still a soft-spoken introvert. He has the unusual talent of evoking states of comfort, threat, compliance, and others through computer graphics. He is also on the run from Second World Renaissance.

Ayana, Ichirou’s former teacher and “rental sister”, has aided Ichirou and Grace escape the repeated attempts by Second World Renaissance to capture them. She has keen strategies to help them evade, but she seems to be keeping a secret about why she’s involved. Her demeanor is proper, as if she is still Ichirou’s schoolteacher, but hints of strong emotion sometimes leak through. She apparently has no unusual talents, but can speak several languages. She has never spoken of her past.

Greg, a mysterious man of mercurial mood and many disguises, appears to be an ally of Ayana’s, although it’s not clear how they met. He has rescued Grace and Ichirou from several scrapes, often unbeknownst to them. He hides many secrets, including his involvement with the group and a talent that causes him much grief.

I will leave the main character and one or two of the other characters for Hearts are Mountains later on. But I’m feeling better about writing today. And I’ll have plenty of time.

Inertia

I haven’t written on my work in progress the past several days because of two things: The need to have my classes laid out and revised by the first day of college meetings (i.e. Wednesday), and the delightful distraction known as planning my summer garden.

I’m done with class prep, so it’s time to write again. However, I’m suffering from inertia of motion — it’s easier to continue what I have been doing (revising classes, planning the garden) than it is to change direction again and start to write. In other words, my mind is stuck.

How can I break inertia and start writing again? Marelisa (2004) suggests some inertia-busters:

Shock Myself into Action — Think of a goal I won’t meet if I don’t write.

Secure Short Term Wins to Overcome Inertia — Frame my goal as “spending four half-hour periods writing today”.

Dangle a Carrot In Front of Myself – Reward myself if I complete the task.

Fill My Gas Tank — Rest if I need to!

Use a Stick — Make myself do something unpleasant (like cleaning the litterbox) if I don’t complete the task.

Create a Clear Vision of What You’re Trying to Achieve — Some people have visionboards. This doesn’t work for me because I have trouble visualizing (imagine a very blurry image that lasts for about a second). But I can think of this as the relationship between my main character and others.

Stage It — Have all my writing things at hand, staring me in the face. In this case, it’s sitting in my most comfortable chair with my computer and computer desk.

So now I have goals based on these strategies to overcome inertia and push myself in another direction. Have you noticed my writing has been more technical and less poetic the past couple days? That’s inertia. I need a creative outlet to get my balance back. I need to write.

Marelisa (2004). Seven Ways to Overcome Inertia and Get Yourself Unstuck. Available: https://daringtolivefully.com/overcome-inertia [Deember 31, 2017].

Don’t worry about editing — yet.

I’ve been running into some difficulties writing on Whose Hearts Are Mountains, and the reason why is because I’ve been ignoring one of the big lessons of NaNoWriMo — don’t worry about editing until I’m done with the first draft.

It’s hard not to — I’ll be writing and suddenly realize I’ve contradicted myself. I fix contradictions when I see them, and then I get off-track because it takes a while to hunt them down. And then I start worrying about “Have I gotten enough foreshadowing here?” and “Did I forget this plot thread?” and then I get all muddled up and want to cry.

What I need to do now is write. I need to get those pure ideas on the page and hash out the continuity and the foreshadowing later.

I need to play with the story first.

Then I can do the editing.

**********

I’ll have unexpected time this week to write: I got done grading the big assignment in my classes — seven hours of straight grading, at the end of which I thought my eyes might be bleeding. Now for the easiest week of my semester, because my finals are multiple-choice and online, which means they grade themselves.

Going back and editing early

My final total for NaNoWriMo is 74,171 words — but the novel, Whose Hearts are Mountains, is not yet done. I’m actually going back to what I’ve written already and editing before I write the last section — in this case not subtracting, but adding foreshadowing, correcting details and making the earlier parts consistent with what I learn about the character later.

Why am I doing this instead of plowing ahead and going back later? Because the things I want to correct are bugging me. Like what signs do we have that Anna has the push-pull of a human side (wanting touch and contact) and Archetype sign (reserved, not emotive)? Not too much. Do we know about her stepfather’s past? No, but hoo boy, I discovered it yesterday and it’s big. Do we know why her natural father is so broken? No, I need to put that in. Do I have the chronology right? I hope so, because I’m really bad with time.

I hope this busts my writers’ block. I hope this makes me feel better about this novel. I need coffee now — today’s coffee is Costa Rican Tarrazu, roasted last night.

AAAAAAAAGH! Writer’s Block!

In the last couple days, I have written six lines of my story. Normally, I write up to 2000 words/day, as when I participate in NaNoWriMo (http://nanowimo.com) or Camp Nano (campnanowrimo.org). I’ve only not won NaNoWriMo once (50,000 words) and that’s when Trump had just gotten elected. (I didn’t have the heart to write.)

I’m not sure why I struggle to write right now. The current book (working title: The Ones who Toppled the World) isn’t much more difficult than most of what I’ve written. I have a relatively good outline to plantz from. I have more time to write than I do during the school year.

This leaves me with several possibilities:

I need a kick to the imagination.
I need a vacation from writing 😕
I’m letting my discouragement get to me.
I find the current story more challenging than I’m letting on.
I’m writing in my blog too much 😜
I need a more atmospheric place to write than my couch.
I need a soundtrack to write with.
I haven’t fallen in love with my characters yet. These characters — the sardonic Grace and the analytical Ichirou; the calm and prepared Ayana and her partner, the chameleonic Greg — I’ve barely scratched their surfaces. Maybe I need to have a chat with them to get to know them better?
I’m not seeing myself as a writer lately.

Ok, I have ideas to play with now. Let’s chat sometime!