Keep Writing

Keep writing.

That’s my advice through the times of rejections, the times spent wondering whether we will ever get published.

Keep taking those ideas and putting them into words, and then hone those words so that they spin the scene, the emotions, the characters, the plot.

Keep writing, keep editing, keep improving. Realize that we shouldn’t write for the glory of being recognized; most of us, even traditionally published, will not see a huge number of readers. Give those words life, and they may change the world even if nobody else ever reads them, because they have changed us.

This Too

Every now and then I get to a point where I’m convinced I’ve reached the end of my writing career, that I’m ready to put the whole thing down.

This is one of those times.

I just don’t feel as much like a writer when I’m writing short stories. I’m not as focused (obsessed?), I have to come up with many, many more ideas rapidly (which I don’t know if I’m good at), and I don’t have the attachment to my characters.

Years ago, you wouldn’t have caught me writing a novel, and I never imagined I’d prefer novels to short stories.

Yet now is the time for short stories and sending them off to magazines and waiting. I’ve gotten a lot of rejections, but I keep trying.

I feel like quitting sometimes. I’ve felt like quitting many times before.

This too shall pass.

Taking stock of the blog

These are the things that I’ve learned in writing this blog.

My blog gets an average of 20 hits a day. I would like to up that, but that might not change till I have a product (a published book). Let me know if I’m wrong.

The national origins of my readers will always surprise me. The other day, a reader from Vietnam showed up. I’ve had visitors from Singapore and Egypt lately. Among my regulars are Germany, Poland, Portugal, India, Ukraine, and Russia.

I know virtually nothing about my visitors. I know what time of day they visit, how often, what they’ve read. I do not know who they are or why they’ve decided to visit. As far as I know, I know nobody from Portugal, Ukraine, and Russia. I don’t assume that my Polish, German, or Indian readers are the people I know there. I know that either Russia or Ukraine houses that annoying SEO bot that occasionally drops me URLs to webcam girls. (I don’t go there).

I will keep writing this blog. It may change direction as my needs as a writer change, but it will probably always be a combination of creative writing, musing about writing and being a writer, and the occasional “this is what my life looks like right now.”

Bits and Pieces

Having a relaxing weekend in Kansas City celebrating my birthday, just as I needed. Now in a coffeehouse on the south Plaza, typing this and drinking coffee and trying to come up with good ideas for writing.

The computer issue was a ID-10-T error (look at what that spells carefully); it was my dongle for the mouse rather than the USB port itself. But what the heck, it got me down here for a birthday celebration.

I’m feeling really frustrated with ideas of what to write, however. I just finished a short story called “God’s Broken Promise” which was based on an experience I had. Richard keeps suggesting characters — a guitar-shredding Buddhist monk, a woman with a pack of cats — but I can’t find the stories there. I guess I don’t start with characters like I thought I did. I start with plot, run with theme, and then the characters make themselves known.

So what do I want to write about? I want to write short stories with twist endings — shocking or satisfying or dramatic or silly. (I haven’t written enough silly stuff lately). I want to write novels again (although I’m about to embark in another dev edit).

I need ideas that grab me.

Labor Day

It’s Labor Day in the US, which these days has less to do with celebrating the worker as it does one last steak on the grill before autumn. Makes sense, as the US is hardly pro-worker right now.

I’m feeling decidedly unmotivated. I have a bit of homework to grade, and a short story (flash fiction?) to tweak. I should probably send out my next set of queries (I have at least 30 to send this time around) but I’m so not feeling it.

Maybe this is a day to rest. My longtime readers know, however, that if I say that I’m most certainly NOT going to rest.

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8:45 AM CDT:
Ok, I got the grading done. Still don’t know what I’m going to do with myself today, but I do wish I had more coffee.

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9:09 AM CDT:
Just tweaked the flash fiction. Desperately need coffee even though I had two cups this morning. Have espresso beans, but I just found out my Moka pot is missing a gasket. I don’t know if I want to drink cafe American though.

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9:14 AM CDT:
Trying to psych myself up to do querying. Also still trying to solve the coffee problem, because I’m not sure I’m up to going out at the moment to Scooter’s (with its corporate air and its uncomfortable booths) …

Ok, not gripping blogging today. Better go figure out what to do on my day off…

Need New Ideas for Stories

I’m writing short stories, as advised by some people at the Gateway Con who thought I’d written enough novels for now. The three short stories I have written (as opposed to the flash fiction or short essays) are from the Prodigies/Archetype universe*: “Tanabata”, “Hands”, and “Runesansu”. You can find them in these pages if you want a read.

I want to branch out on my writing — stay within the science fiction/fantasy, I think, except that there are certain topics I would like to stay away from:

Vampires
Werewolves
Alpha-freaking-male ANYTHING
Unbridled gore
Gratuitous sex
In-jokes **
The Adventures of Gary Stu
Fan Fic ***

This either means that I have to do new world-building or write short stories that don’t require world-building. I’ve been tempted to do new world-building because I haven’t done that for a while. I miss that immersive experience of creativity.

So if you have any inspirations …

*****

* One character connects the two sets of stories

**(see Ready Player One if you don’t know what I’m talking about)

*** I have nothing against fanfic; I just don’t write it.

Short Stories

I’m falling in love with short stories.

I’ve been playing with stories relating to the characters in Prodigies, because that’s what’s been close to my mind right now. I posted one of them, Hands, in this blog previously.

I don’t know how “marketable” they are, because they’re my writing, and I’m having trouble getting the novels accepted. They tend to tie in with my novels, which will be a great thing once I’m published (anthologies are nice bonuses to give people as an incentive to buy your work at conferences), and before then they’re stories I can try to publish.

Publishing short stories does not pay, for the most part. There’s a lot of competition, of course, and I’ve gotten more rejections than acceptances so far. I don’t know if anyone reads them besides the other people who are published in the journal or website. But getting published does give a little buzz of happiness.

Meanwhile, as a writer, I find that writing short stories gives me small doses of accomplishment — not as much as when I finish a novel, but enough to make me feel like writing again.

Odd Place

I’m in an odd place about my writing.

Weeks ago, I gave up the need to be published. Since then, I’ve been writing stories, submitting those and poetry to various outlets, where they may or may not get published, may or may not get any readership if they’re published.

I’ve gotten a few more rejections from agents for Apocalypse. It doesn’t bother me much.

It seems to me that I poured myself into my writing because I wanted recognition. I wanted readers. I wanted to get a shiny star for publishing.

I had an empty checkmark on my bucket list.

Now that I have gotten runner up on a fiction contest and about to see some flash fiction in publication, I’ve checked that box.

My one worry is that I don’t feel as possessed about writing. No dreams of being published dangled before my head like the proverbial carrot. I could never quite reach it. I feel like maybe I’m slowly giving up, and I don’t know if I want to do that.

I guess seeing how this evolves will be another adventure.

Sleepy Sunday — and boy, do I need it! I spent the better part of the week running from here to there, with a long train ride taking longer than expected, no time to compress before the semester started, and with two computers (home and work) to be repaired, I got through that admirably.

As I sit here in front of my new computer with horribly coffee that we ourselves did not roast, I think the secret to my calm about writing lately has three sources:

Living as if I’ve already been published (which I have, if you include short stories and flash fiction;
Making sure I have a lot (queries, submissions and the like) out there;
Not writing novels for a while (although I’m sending one to dev edit soon, the last of my backlog) and sticking with shorter writing.

Driving myself, I’ve noticed, doesn’t get me any closer to success, but it does make me grumpy. But at the same time, I can’t let it go completely.

Slowing Down

So, I’m taking the advice of an editor I met at Gateway Con and putting novels on the back burner until I get something on the track to publication. In their stead, I’ve been playing with short stories (my first love) and flash fiction. And submitting same.

I’ve gotten a lot of rejections, more rejections than acceptances. This is not unusual. I have lost count of the number of rejections from agents and publications. I’ve become somewhat serene about the whole thing, as I can always revise and try again and feel that hope.

Sometimes I feel like I’m not really a writer anymore because I’m missing the angst. That says something interesting about how society sees writers, or how writers see themselves. We have to be driven. We have to fail.

What if writing, rather than publishing, is the reason I write?