I am a whirlwind, awhirlwind, doling out fire and storm.
Wretched, I hold my head as I type this.
I ask you the question, “Tell me your meaning.” I hold you to the answer.
You watch me stride across the classroom, my hands shaping a concept as I speak.
My dimples show when I smile over my glasses at you.
You can’t stop looking at me. You can’t stop wondering. You don’t know why.
In my office, there is a collection of stuffed toy Internet-famous cats.
I clutch the railing, lest my leg gives out.
Tell me your meaning. All of your meanings.
If you can, you can create three-dimensional characters.
Words Like Me 
I like this….there is a sense of desperation that I am sure you feel when you are trying to gage the reaction of the students when you are teaching.When you tell the reader that all eyes are on you…i got a sense of how you must feel so alone when you teach. I can see why you liked people to engage with you when you were teaching.This is Lanetta
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I hadn't thought about the desperation, but you're right — it's certainly there. You frame it in terms of teaching, because that's much of the imagery here, and the other imagery isn't clearly not from there — and you're absolutely right. The thing I get frustrated most about in teaching is passivity — people not engaging with the material, not letting themselves get aha reactions, not playing with the material.I'm much the same in the rest of my life. I get frustrated with people seeing me only fitting in one box (which is unrealistic — that's what people do.) I get frustrated with long conversations that don't get past \”And how is your week\”, even though I'm told they're necessary. I was one of those kids who liked playing \”truth or dare\” and all those deep connection – soul-baring games from high school and undergraduate years. I knew a college counselor once who told me she could get to the true nature of a student's distress in one question: \”Tell me what has broken your soul\”. \”Tell me your meaning\” is my version of that one sentence in hopes of learning who people really are.
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I never liked small talk or those stupid ice breaker games. If I 2ant to know something about a person I will just ask them. I prefer silence to meaningless chatter. I am very direct…which makes some people uncomfortable. I never understood the reason for wasting 20-30 minutes on conversation that leads to nothing. When i have a comment or a question I will just express it.This is Lanetta
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