What I Learned

In high school I learned that sometimes your crush will pay attention to you and that’s enough.

Back then, 44 years ago, I had a crush on Mark. This was painfully (and I mean painfully) obvious to Mark, his girlfriend, and everyone else in high school. He took it well, however. And sometimes he would open up a little sunshine into my life.

Once we were caroling: me, him, his girlfriend, and the rest of the chamber singers. I dropped behind, mostly because the two lovebirds were lovebirding but also because I was cold and tired and depressed. He walked back to find me and ask if everything was okay. He held my unmittened hand briefly and told me it was cold and scolded me for going without mittens.

I wrote a poem for him once. It made fun of him because that was my undying declaration of love. (It ended with the words “you stupid klutz”.) He told me he would keep it in his billfold the rest of his life. I knew he wouldn’t, but the image was enough to make me laugh.

He married his girlfriend and as far as I know they’re still together. I went on to have many more unrequited crushes and eventually married. But I learned the little gifts of moments we receive from people can last in memory forever.