It’s a Weird Thing

I have a certain amount of anxiety that keeps me from getting peace. It particularly manifests itself when I’m in a car or when I lose something or my boss calls me to a meeting. It’s worse than it used to be because of a medication change.

I often pray to induce a sense of peace. The weird thing is that I consider myself at best nominally Christian. I don’t specify what God I’m praying to. I don’t believe in Hell or Heaven, I think intercessary prayer is actually confirmation bias; yet I pray to find the object or not get into a car accident. Yes, that makes me a hypocrite.

Or does it? As I said, I know if that item is not in the house, praying doesn’t bring it back there. It also doesn’t change the laws of physics. But it calms me down. It has a beneficial effect, even if only temporarily.

Every now and then I throw a “thank you” in God’s direction as well. But the good Christians do not believe I am a good Christian and I’m okay with that. Praying brings me peace when I’m in a panic.