The Power of “No”

How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?

I say “No” all the time. At work, there are many opportunities to do service for the University. I do some of these things, because service is part of my goals for the year. But I carefully choose my service to fit my goals.

For example, I do a couple Academic Showcases a year, where we talk to incoming students about the department’s majors and classes. These are not directly part of my goals, but they are service. To say “No” to things, I have to say “Yes” to things not quite fitting my goals to balance the work in my department.

On the other hand, I spend days in Hope exercises, where I do moulage (casualty simulation, turning volunteers into victims using makeup). I teach CERT (Community Emergency Response Team) classes in Disaster Psych. I do moulage for the annual Docudrama (drinking and driving simulation for high school students). These fit my goals.

There are other times I say “No”. Events that happen after my bedtime are “No” situations, because one of my goals is to get enough sleep. That goal is necessary for my mental health, so it’s high priority. I say “No” during certain busy times of the year. I don’t feel guilty saying “No” because I know my time is limited.

I think the ability to say “No” comes with age. I know that when I was younger, I said “No” a lot less often. I didn’t know my goals back then, and what goals I had were scattered. Strangely, I didn’t do as much for others when I was younger and said “Yes” all the time.

I think saying “No” is a very healthy thing and not at all selfish. It is more selfish resenting things and people outside oneself for asking for time.