The First Blog of a New Year

Every year, on New Year’s Day, I make it a point to do the things I want to carry through the next year. One of the things I’m doing today is writing my blog, because I have let it go for too long.

I had burned myself out writing daily for a year, so I let it go for a couple of weeks, which turned out to be two or three weeks, then several weeks more. Then I lost the habit of writing and the initiative.

Now I’m thinking of writing today. Not a resolution, but a goal. Which means I need to set it up as a SMART goal — specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-bound. Here goes: I will write my blog at least twice a week, on Mondays and Fridays, in the morning before I work.

Now that I got that out of the way, here’s my first blog of the year:

How was 2025? It was a year of shock and horror looking at what came out of our government. We became a harsher, more bitter nation, obsessed with ‘sticking it’ to someone else. Personally, it was a year of little excitement, of doing my day to day routine and getting by. I don’t mind that; I’m older, and I’ve wearied of big surprises. My bipolar is under control, and my weight is down by almost 70 pounds. I pulled triumph out of failure for my research this year and made two presentations, which will keep my boss happy. I am one year closer to retirement — I’m looking at 5 years now.

What are my big plans for the New Year? I have two books I want to publish at the end of the year: a Kringle book and a Hidden in Plain Sight book. I have completed both (except for a cover for Avatar of the Maker). Finishing the editing and the formatting was a 2025 goal that I discovered at the last minute. Other than that, it will be another year without big surprises. I hope. Especially from the government.

Nam Ya

Daily writing prompt

What food would you say is your specialty?

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My cooking specialty is a Thai dish, and not a common one for restaurants. It is Nam Ya, a dish of fish in a light curry sauce, served over noodles with a decent amount of cilantro.

It’s easy to make. Put half a can of green curry paste, a can of coconut milk, and half a can of water into a pot, with a lime leaf, a squeeze of lime juice, a half-teaspoon of sugar, and a chunk of dried galangal to add flavor. (Sometimes I put in chopped cilantro stems because I love cilantro.) Add a good dash of fish sauce and simmer till the mixture is smooth, then add flaked cooked catfish and heat. Serve over rice noodles and top with cilantro.

To me, this is comfort food, good for when I’m getting over the flu or just have had a bad day. It’s spicy, mellow, and fresh-tasting. I could use some right now!

Group of anchovy basket at fishing outdoor farmers market, anchovy is material to make fish sauce, very delicious Vietnamese food, many produce of fishery cover by ice to keep fresh

Not Everyone Will Like You

Daily writing prompt

Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.

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The lesson I didn’t learn until I was in my early thirties, that I wish I would have learned a lot sooner, was “Not everyone is going to like you, and you’re not going to like everyone.”

As a child, I wanted everyone to like me. I think this was because I didn’t get the feeling of always being loved by my parents. I had a very uneven upbringing, where my mother threatened me with abandonment as a form of discipline.

Everyone didn’t like me. I was bullied in school, not surprisingly, because I was so needy. It’s ironic, but the people who get bullied are the ones who need friendship the most. They are vulnerable, and bullies seek vulnerability.

As an adult, this need to be liked carried over. As a professor, this helped me get along with my students, but afraid to stand up to them. I did anyhow, somehow, but felt bad when they didn’t like me anymore.

Then one day, in a therapy group, I ran into a bully at a very vulnerable time. The therapist gave me permission to think sadistic thoughts about the bully. I didn’t go so far, but it was a shock to my system that I didn’t have to belly up in front of her and grovel till she liked me.

Later, a social worker told me “Not everyone’s going to like you, and you’re not going to like everyone.” That was probably the most important piece of advice someone has ever given me. I no longer try to ingratiate myself to people who dislike me. My life is a lot calmer and more peaceful. And not everyone has to like me. I’m okay.

It’s Fall, and Maybe I’m Making Progress.

I’ve remembered to write my blog today, about one day later, so maybe I am making progress.Time to remind myself that I am a writer, even if I feel little like one lately. I have a book I want to write, a Christmas romance novel, of which I have the basic outline laid out. I will start writing it on November 1st. Even if I don’t get those 50k words by December 1, I will make progress.

Photo by Kadri Vu00f5sumu00e4e on Pexels.com

Then there’s the other story, the one I don’t think is going well. Maybe I should look at it and see what it needs. A burial in a lead casket is a possibility unless I figure out how to make it a little less dark. Maybe it’s supposed to be that dark, but it’s ceased being fun to write.

Maybe I’ll feel like writing again, and it will become part of my life.

A Really Bad Job of Writing

It turns out I’m doing a really bad job of writing lately. I always seem to forget my writing days. Maybe I have a lot more to keep my mind on than usual; maybe work is calling me away too often. Maybe I’m just tired. But my writing (both blogging and story-wise) are not happening.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

Maybe it’s not the season to write. I hope that’s not the case, because I’m supposed to write a Christmas romance in November. I’m already going to be a couple days behind because of a conference I’m going to.

Here’s hoping the universe showers me with the gift of writing.

Perhaps a Controversial Move

I’m still not doing well with keeping up with blogging, but I do have some good news!

I just laid out a project in Scrivener. A new Christmas novel to be written in November for Novel November. Novel November is likely to be controversial because ProWritingAid essentially took over NaNoWriMo (it used to be a sponsor of such) and some associate them with the statement NaNo made accepting AI written projects.

I am joining it anyhow because I use ProWritingAid as an editing tool, not a composition tool. I do not see this support as endorsing generative AI. I would never endorse that, because it degrades writing and critical thinking. ProWritingAid does not appear to support using the program to write.

I believe Novel November will help me through my writing slump. It has already, as I have outlined the novel already and I am excited about writing again. Wish me luck!

Ten Thousand Views

According to JetPack this morning, my blog has gotten 10,000 views. That’s incredible! I know there are blogs that have gotten a lot more than this, but I didn’t expect my blog to have gotten this many!

I’ve made a lot of posts, maybe 2000 or so. That means my average post has gotten maybe five views. But they add up, and five per post is not bad for a humble little blog that is just my meanderings.

I should plug my books at this time, because my books are where this blog started. You can find my magical realism (?) and Christmas romances at this link: https://us.amazon.com/stores/Lauren-Leach-Steffens/author/B08KHCNJ3W?ref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true

Thank you for reading!

Not Doing So Well With This Little Audacious Goal

I set up the little audacious goal to write on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays and have not done too well with it. I have the time; that’s not the problem. The problem is that I have forgotten about the goal and suffer from a degree of inertia on those days.

Once one quits writing, it’s hard to go back to that place. I have run into the same thing with my novel writing. The negative self-talk has taken over, and I don’t feel like I have too much to contribute to the world with writing. It’s keeping me from writing. I don’t like the current book, which is too much of a downer. I’m not sure if I’m going to get through it.

What I need is an attitude change. The little audacious goal is something I have to want to do. Right now I don’t know if I want to write. I think I need a message from the Universe (which I certainly believe can happen) to help me get back on track.

Or at least I need to follow my little audacious goal in the meantime.

The Best Piece of Advice

Daily writing prompt

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

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The best piece of advice I’ve ever received was in inpatient therapy at Brattleboro Retreat 30 years ago. This probably needs a bit of explaining.

I was in an inpatient program at a private institution called Brattleboro Retreat, which I understand was the place where some movie stars chose to dry out in the olden days. By the time I was there, it had quite a good reputation for helping women with complicated diagnoses compounded by sexual abuse history. That was me, with a marriage breaking up and sexual abuse issues.

One of the things I discovered was that the group I was in was a great place to recreate childhood playground traumas. I was bullied as a child; I was bullied as a participant in the program by other participants. This might have been because I spent nearly the whole time crying over breaking up with my husband, which might have had to do with depression (I was later diagnosed as bipolar, after all). But moreover, I tried to befriend the people who bullied me, a pattern from my childhood. I felt like I had to make everyone like me.

One of the social workers said to me one day in a one-on-one session, “You don’t have to like everyone and not everyone has to like you.” This was a revelation to me, because I really thought I had to be liked by everyone to be a good person. It’s not an exaggeration to say this piece of advice changed my life.

Brattleboro had a way of tearing the floor out from under people and then reminding them there was a safety net. It had us building a new foundation for life.

little audacious goal?

I have lost track of writing this blog.

I lost my daily habit, and those pauses in days have become pauses in weeks, and then nearly a month. This is what happens when one loses a habit.

I feel like I have nothing to say, because I haven’t been using the daily prompts, because they were a means to an end and not necessarily what I wanted to say.

I now have to make a decision — what do I want to use this blog for? I want to talk about things of interest, and the daily prompts accomplish this. I want to stay away from politics because I don’t know if I have anything constructive to say. Social issues — I can talk about those occasionally because I do think I have something to say there. My books — I have always wanted to talk about my books, which includes my frustration in not writing lately.

I guess I need a little audacious goal to write again. It needs to be SMART — I will write three times a week on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday (with some flexibility). I will use prompts as needed and some self-driven content. I will write about writing at least once a week as I originally intended. I will check weekly to make sure I’ve written my three days.

Hold me accountable.