I am an associate professor of human services at a regional Midwestern university. I am also a writer of fantasy and romance, hoping to get traditionally published. I have one husband and am owned by four cats.
This school year (do you call it that when it’s teaching college?) went by very fast. There’s a pile of grading standing between me and the end of the year. Some of it I will get done this weekend; the rest during the week while I am giving final exams. I will get through grading, and then on to the summer.
I think I will have 10 interns this summer. That’s not a lot of interns, but it will keep me busy. I will have time to rest and write in between internship supervision. I already have prepped my classes for fall while bored in my office, so I’m ahead of the game.
I need this break. It has been an intense school year.
On work issues, what gives me direction is what needs to be done. There is a cycle of grading, classes to be taught, topics to cover, research to be done, etc. That determines the direction of my work.
With leisure time, several things influence the sense of direction. One big thing is goals. I have small goals and Big Audacious Goals. I have not had a Big Audacious Goal in a while, which is part of why writing has been so hard. Another is my energy level — if I have little energy, my sense of direction points toward rest above anything. Finally, there’s a tug between established routine and emergent wants — do I go to Starbucks to write or start working in the garden?
I wish I could say some divine force gives me direction. I don’t know if I believe in God, although lately I have been praying. I pray that I get done the things I need to get done. But it still doesn’t help me get to the garden tasks.
These are the Four Agreements, from the book written by dom Miguel Ruiz, and I live my life by these.
Being impeccable with one’s word, to me, means not to speak unless one can speak truth. When we lie, we do not speak truth. When we say ‘yes’ when we mean ‘no’, we are not speaking truth. When we say negative things about ourselves or others, we are not speaking the whole truth.
Not taking things personally is exactly that — realizing that when someone says something, whether negative or positive, about you, they are speaking about their view of the world. They are speaking about themselves.
Don’t make assumptions — this, to me, is the easiest one to understand. I teach it in my case management class when we talk about clients, especially cultural diversity. Ask for clarification. Observe the other. Be careful to distinguish between facts and assumptions.
Always do your best. I make it a point to do this, understanding that my best during times of stress and distress is not the same as my best during good times. I can rest knowing that I did my best.
I know that The Four Agreements are considered New Age wisdom, and I reject a lot of that. But these four rules make so much sense in life and have made me a much calmer, more empathetic being.
It’s that time of the semester. The last week before finals, and I have two major assignments coming in on Friday. And two essay exams the week after. And then summer and internships.
Summer and internships are a lot easier, because my time is more my own. I have paperwork, grading, and internship visits, but I have more freedom to schedule them. And I have time on my own.
My first time camping was in college. I had gone with a friend of mine to Illinois Yearly Meeting (an annual meeting of Friends, or Quakers). Lodging at the Meetinghouse was primitive, rustic two-person dorm rooms. My friend Joan and I decided we would camp in the camping space across the road from the Meetinghouse.
Joan and I put up the tent (not a fancy one like we have nowadays) and we spent the day in activities. The tent was still standing by bedtime, which was a good sign. When we settled in, with our belongings tucked around us, it was a crowded time in the tent and we were tired. Not too tired to notice that my head lay on a tree root.
It stormed all night. Illinois thunderstorms are particularly resonant, so I couldn’t sleep very well. I finally fell asleep after the storm quit. Scant hours later, I woke at dawn, and noticed my air mattress was … floating.
“Joan?”
“Mrrph.” Joan was not a morning person.
“Joan? I think the tent flooded.”
Joan jumped up, and we assessed the state of the tent. Yes, it had flooded at one end, as had the entire campground. We were surrounded by dismayed people noticing that they, too, had taken water in their tents.
Joan and I did the only thing we could — we busted up laughing. We sorted out our clothing (mostly dry) and hung our tent and sleeping bags in the tree to dry. Needless to say, we slept in the dorms that night.
That was my first time camping. The fact that I’ve camped more than once is a testimony to my perseverence. Or my short memory. One of those two.
I feel most productive in the mornings. I wake up at 5 in the morning, sit in bed reading for 20 minutes, then get up for the day. Then I eat breakfast, write this blog during coffee, and by seven-thirty am ready for the workday.
My mind is at its sharpest from seven till about 2 PM. By then, I’m not what I’d call productive. I get most of my work done in the morning, and teach classes in the early afternoon. By three PM I’m ready to take a nap, although I’m not done until 5. My productivity is just not very productive in the late afternoon.
In the evening, I rest. I go to bed by eight, because I’m a morning person.
I write a newsletter once a month for my (potential) readers. My reader list came from posting free copies of my book on BookFunnel, where people would read it in exchange for being put on my newsletter list. If you’re wondering what it’s all about, it’s a lot like this blog — a reflection that relates to the books, followed by book news and a freebie link to BookFunnel.
I have 2808 readers, most of whom (I suspect) do not read the newsletter. But that’s okay, some people are reading it. I don’t think any of them have bought a book. But that’s okay, someday they may. That 2800 people subscribe to my newsletter amazes me.
If you want to subscribe, drop me a line and I will put you on the subscriber list.
Indie-publishing a novel was a risk. Writing it was a Big Audacious Goal, but I could have left the book in a file folder forever. Letting it out there for people to read was a big risk.
What is the risk of putting my work out there for others to read? There’s a risk of being ridiculed, of being ignored, of losing one’s confidence in oneself. These bring up a lot of fear, like standing in front of a door, not knowing what is on the other side.
I took the risk by walking through that door. My first book published was a Christmas romance, The Kringle Conspiracy. It was a project whose seeds were planted in a high school short story I’d written. To publish, I had to edit the document, run it across some beta readers, and then the hard part: uploading it onto KDP (Kindle’s publishing arm) and hitting the button to publish.
I could have walked it back. I could have unpublished it before the wheels of KDP released it to the public, but I did not. I took the risk.
My results have been mixed. On one hand, I have not had a lot of readers (except for the 3300 who read it for free in exchange for getting put on my newsletter list.) On the other, the few people who have reviewed it have given it 4.5 stars out of five. It’s a modest success, but that’s not the reason I took the risk. I took it because it was another Big Audacious Goal, one that I could only accomplish through stepping through the door.
I’ve noticed that when I’m having writer’s block, I make a post about it, and then I get back into writing. As if complaining about my writer’s block solves it. Like griping is a magic incantation.
I’m going to have to find an alternate way to break my writer’s block. You all deserve better than to hear me bitch about my lack of production every couple of weeks.
So even though I’m back in a lull, I will not try to convince you that this horrible dry spell is the end of my writing career. It’s just the end of the semester catching up with me.
This is not going to be a very exciting answer. If I were a better person than I am, I would say something like meditation or reading, or walking. But the truthful answer is that I come home, recline in the recliner, and surf the Internet on my phone. I kill time in the most prosaic way possible.
I am a voracious reader of minutiae. It comes from wanting to absorb information and having a short attention span. So I binge-read Wikipedia, science websites, and Quora, looking for things to learn. I also like to read advice columns, because I like to know the right things to do in an awkward situation.
Sometimes I fall asleep in the recliner. I guess this is how one really winds down.
Words Like Me 