little audacious goal?

I have lost track of writing this blog.

I lost my daily habit, and those pauses in days have become pauses in weeks, and then nearly a month. This is what happens when one loses a habit.

I feel like I have nothing to say, because I haven’t been using the daily prompts, because they were a means to an end and not necessarily what I wanted to say.

I now have to make a decision — what do I want to use this blog for? I want to talk about things of interest, and the daily prompts accomplish this. I want to stay away from politics because I don’t know if I have anything constructive to say. Social issues — I can talk about those occasionally because I do think I have something to say there. My books — I have always wanted to talk about my books, which includes my frustration in not writing lately.

I guess I need a little audacious goal to write again. It needs to be SMART — I will write three times a week on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday (with some flexibility). I will use prompts as needed and some self-driven content. I will write about writing at least once a week as I originally intended. I will check weekly to make sure I’ve written my three days.

Hold me accountable.

Why I Blog

I ask myself this question often. I don’t know if I am satisfied with any of my answers, but I will spell them out as honestly as I can.

I originally started blogging as a way to publicize my writing. I write magical realism novels and Christmas romances. They’re very different from each other. It turns out that I talk little about my novels, although I am still writing them. You can find my novels at this link: Lauren Leach-Steffens’ author page.

After a while, I started writing because I liked the concept of followers. I like having an audience for writing, even though I know it’s more “pure” to write for the simple joy of writing. I have extrinsic motivation for writing.

For the past year, I wrote because I had a Big Audacious Goal of writing 365 days in a row. I made my goal a couple weeks ago. It took a lot of work. Then I took a break.

Now, at the moment, I write because it’s a habit. I think I have good things to say, and so I write. I still want followers, I still want to sell books, but I’m now writing (for the most part) to be heard, by whoever wants to read my writing.

The Enjoyment of Writing

Daily writing prompt

What do you enjoy most about writing?

View all responses

What I enjoy most about writing is the ‘aha’ reaction I get when my mind finds a new twist or a new direction to go while writing. I am what is known as a plantser, somewhere between planning the book and flying by the seat of my pants. In this method of writing, there is a certain amount of writing with the flow, although it’s grounded in a general outline. This gives me plenty of room for ‘aha’ reactions.

I love it when I learn something new about a character, for example. I will do this while writing, where suddenly one of my characters does something surprising. I have to pause and see whether it’s out of character, and if it’s not, then I have learned something new about the character. One of my favorite recurring characters, Luke Dunstan, still surprises me at times.

Plots behave similarly. I might find a plot point flowing through my mind and onto the screen. I test it to see if it works, and if it does, it becomes part of the book. I don’t know how it happens, but it does. Maybe my subconscious does more writing than I give it credit for.

The ‘aha’ of new developments is my favorite part of writing.

Update

I’m back from my adventure in New York. I still feel like I could use some sleep.

I only have two weeks until classes start again. Where did the time go?

Here’s hoping I feel like writing again before I run out of time.

Big Audacious Goal completed!

I made a Big Audacious Goal that I would blog for 365 straight days and I did it!

I made the goal because I have a tendency to drop things when I get bored, and I want to break that habit. I don’t know that I have, but 365 sustained days is an accomplishment.

I’m going to take a short break and then begin to blog again. See you later!

A Typical Day

I write this blog early in the morning, so the prompt “Is today typical?” is somewhat humorous. Did I get up this morning at ten till 5 when my husband’s alarm went off? Yes. Did I get out of bed at 20 after? Yes, I did. Did I take my meds? Absolutely. Did I go downstairs and eat breakfast? Indeed.

Today is beginning in a very typical way. As a typical summer day, I can also expect to take some time writing or reading. I can do the dishes in the dishwasher. I can check the mail, and if I’m really ambitious, I will go to Starbucks to write.

In the fall/spring, typical means going to work and teaching two classes with office hours in between. I will meet with students and go to meetings. Life will be a lot busier, but I will be in tune with my new schedule. This will begin sooner than I’d like, because summer is winding down.

Today is a typical day.

And a touch of ennui

Yesterday, I thought I was blocked writing. Then I wrote 1800 words, which is the most I’ve written in a good while. I don’t know how I did this, except I kept writing what I had on my mind.

I still don’t know if I like the book. I feel like there’s a lot of talking and not a lot of action. The action is coming up, but is it enough? This book may take a lot of rewriting once I get it down. We shall see. It also might not make it to daylight.

Sometimes I think I am toward the end of my writing career. It has been — what? 10 years? It’s been a good ten years, but I think I’ve gotten as far as I am going to. It’s hard for me to maintain and not go forward. I haven’t had a Big Audacious Goal toward writing for a while. We shall see.

Self-Sabotage?

I am 15 days from my latest not-so-big audacious goal, writing in this blog for 365 straight days. Yet I keep forgetting to write! Luckily, I catch myself before the day is over, but all it would take is one day of forgetting entirely, and I would be back at zero.

I don’t really like all or nothing goals like this. They’re less about performance than persistence. ButI’ve been doing this blogging for 350 days, so…

These Chapters are All Wrong

I wrote two or three chapters that are all wrong. The main male character seems perfect, the main female character is too ambivalent (although ambivalence is not a bad thing here), and it’s too talky. What does one do when the characters are all wrong?

Revise, revise, revise. I know writers say not to edit your work until you’re done, but this section can’t stand as is. It’s wrong. It’s going to lead the reader to the wrong place. It’s already leading the writer to the wrong place. So, there’s at least 5000 words down the drain (two of the chapters were only partially written) and time to write them over again.

I know what I will be doing at Starbucks today.

My Book Theme and the AHA Moment

I’m writing a book right now, where the female protagonist is (among other things) a folksinger, and her significant other is an immortal who wants to be human because he thinks it will cure his loneliness. One song she performs at open mic night is Child 39a, an old ballad called Tam Lin.

The ballad is about Tam Lin, a captive of the fairy realm who holds a plot of land, and any unaccompanied woman who passes there has to give up something of herself, including her virginity. One woman, who gets pregnant, returns to demand he support his child. He agrees to marry her if she takes him from captivity. He warns her he will turn into all sorts of vicious forms, and if she continues to hold on, he is hers. This goes according to plan and they live happily ever after.

I realized in the middle of writing this section that their story is basically Tam Lin, with a few changes. He is held captive by his loneliness. She rescues him and holds onto him as several layers of his existence are shed — immortal, being made in the image of humans, and then his final layer — inevitably other. No vicious forms, but the alienness of his being stands in. In the end, their story is bittersweet as I suspect Tam Lin’s is — how do you live in the ordinary world when you have been touched by the fey? How do you have a relationship with someone that alien to you?

I’m using the song as a framing device. I would tell you it all fell together accidentally, but I know the subconscious of a writer is a powerful thing.