Random Observations About Writing

About poetic language vs realism

I notice that the sunrise this morning is not really pink — maybe more of a salmon color, but that’s not poetic, is it? “The salmon-colored dawn.” No. Just no.

“Rosy”, on the other hand, is poetic. And everyone who reads the poem or prose takes the same poetic leap and accepts the dawn as rosy.

Photo by Sebastian Voortman on Pexels.com

About writers and coffee

I’m in a writer’s group on Discord, and the caffeine addiction there is real. To the point where we talk about how we make coffee and what blend we use. And heaven forbid we skip our coffee in the morning.

I haven’t met any tea drinkers, but it could be a small sample size. Do you drink tea?

About that self-doubt

The same group of writers admitted that they too have self-doubt.

About romance categories

There are many, many romance categories. Superhero, bad boy, playboy, alien. Sweet, steamy, hot, erotica. Friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, boy next door, strangers to lovers. Science fiction, fantasy, contemporary, historical.

And because of my self-doubt, I don’t know if I belong to any of these.

Marketing

Right now, I feel like most of my writing time is spent in marketing, and I don’t even have anything on imminent publication. I’m using The Kringle Conspiracy as my hook for newsletter subscribers, so that’s out. This is all a very strange journey and I don’t know how things are going to work this fall when I’m back to work.

What about you?

Do you have any observations about yourself as a writer, or if you aren’t a writer, other writers? I’d love to see you drop these in the comments!

Crippling Self-Doubt and the Writer

An occupational hazard

To be a writer is to be afflicted by crippling self-doubt. It takes only a Google search of “crippling self-doubt” to confirm this. It’s not surprising. If a writer writes for an audience, they bring their works out into the daylight.

If they’re showing their friends what they’ve written, they’re afraid of being judged. Because friends often skip over the Facebook post, they’re never quite sure if they’ve been read. Because friends are often afraid to hurt someone’s feelings, they will be wary of compliments.

If the writer submits for publication, they’re afraid of being rejected — and they will often be rejected, because their work is competing against others’ writing.

What to do about self-doubt

There are several articles on the Internet about how to deal with self-doubt. See here and here for examples. I don’t want to hash over these excellent articles, so I’ll write from my experiences and hope the advice is helpful.

Keep writing. Being a writer is a calling, even if not a penny is made on it. Write your way through the fear.
Keep improving, especially if the goal is to become published. Relish the feeling of improving. Take all criticism as room to improve.
Find support. Whether this be a Facebook group or your friends or spouse, find someone to express your frustrations to.
Stop negative self-talk. There are apps on iOS and Android that teach a journaling method that contradicts negative self-talk with realistic thoughts.
Remind yourself why you’re writing. Reconnect with the joy.

A takeaway

Writers aren’t the only ones with self-doubt; it crops up when we have to speak publicly, at our jobs, and any place where we step outside our comfort zones. What are your solutions for self-doubt?

Mini-mini-mini-MINI Vacation

On the spur of the moment

I was feeling in the doldrums yesterday waiting for a storm that never happened and frustrated with my lack of progress writing. Richard began to look for cabins at Mozingo (the city park some 5 miles away) but that’s a fruitless task in the summer at the last minute. I suggested trying to find a Kansas City boutique hotel on Hotwire so we could knock around the city.

So we did. And now we’re having a mini-mini-mini-MINI vacation (overnight) taking the Gangster bus tour and staying at the 21c, a boutique hotel formerly known as the Savoy. (thoroughly modernized alas). Hopefully, there will be a few good vibes that will help me write the remainder of my half-finished novel.

The Beginning of a Writing Journey

Seven years ago today

Seven years ago yesterday, I finished my first novel. To be exact, I finished the first draft of my first novel, which was then revised so many times over the years that it’s not the book I originally wrote. Coincidentally, it’s the book I hope to self-publish by the end of the summer, Gaia’s Hands.

After that first novel

I thought I’d quit writing after I wrote that novel, because I had fulfilled one of those Big Audacious Goals that I thought I’d never fulfill, being a short-story person by nature. But I wrote six and a half more novels — the half novel being 50k of a book that needs another half.

So far, only one book, The Kringle Conspiracy, has been published. My family likes it and it’s helped me get quite a few newsletter readers in the past few weeks. That book was almost 40 years in the making, coming from a vignette I wrote in a high school creative writing class.

There will be (hopefully) two other books to be (self-) published soon: the aforementioned Gaia’s Hands and the second Kringle book, Kringle in the Night.

Where to from here?

Obviously, I’m probably going to keep writing, although I haven’t written a novel since — checks watch — last November. I’d like to start writing a new novel soon, even though I’ve been advised to stick with short stories for a while. Getting things published is also important to me right now.

For you

Do you have ideas for a novel? Dreams of writing a novel? Write them here!

What I Want Out of Writing

I’m still writing

After yesterday’s revelations, I’m still writing.

I will not be able to quit my day job, and at best I might enhance our income by $6 to $20k. But there’s value in writing, whether it is to express my thoughts and emotions, to explore skill-building, or to fantasize about making it big.

Time plus money = ?

I need to get value from my writing equivalent to the time (lots) and the money (considerably less) that I have put into my writing.

However, whenever we fulfill a goal, value comes from two outcomes: changes (usually gains) in resources and satisfaction. Gains in resources don’t have to be monetary — they can be in terms of knowledge and experience. Satisfaction comes from completing goals, and the feeling of that satisfaction differs by where it comes from. The deepest satisfaction comes from satisfying higher-order goals, goals that come from higher values like beauty, truth, and accomplishment.

Looking at my time and money spent writing, I see that I have increased greatly in both experience and knowledge about writing. I have written several pieces, both short and long, and that represents another gain in resources. And, having satisfied the higher-level goals of accomplishment and knowledge, I feel this satisfaction very deeply.

(Note: The discussion on the outputs from fulfilling goals, or the value-creating activities, comes from family resource management theory, which I taught for close to 20 years. For a summary of resource management theories, read here.)

What I want out of writing

I, of course, have been analyzing this question of what I want out of writing to make sure I’m getting my money’s worth, as it were. This is the list I came up with:

To learn about writing
To get people to read my work
To enjoy my time writing
To be able to call myself an author
To improve in my writing
To enjoy a hobby

I think there are good enough reasons here to keep me writing.

How about you?

What is a goal of yours and what does it give you?

Giving Up Cherished Dreams

Dreams of being an author

I went into this thought of being an author figuring I would find an agent, then a publisher, and get a five-figure advance and royalties. My ex-boyfriends (all geeks) would see my name in the science fiction section of the bookstore and be forced to have some respect for me. I could quit my day job.

The sobering reality

The truth of the matter is that the scenario for writers is far less rosy. According to the Authors Guild 2018 poll:

Median income for all authors (full vs part, traditional vs self-published) was $6080 in 2017
Median income for full-time authors for all writing-related activities, however, was $20,300
Self-published authors earned less than traditionally published authors
Publishers are paying lower advances to authors who are not celebrity or leading authors

And then there’s the part where Amazon has pretty much taken over the bookselling and publishing market, likely pushing all these trends. And the fact that the typical self-publisher will sell only 250 books.

This is a lot to absorb. If I’m going to be an author (I already am), I have to have honest and good reasons to do so. The biggest thing I need to do is dispel my illusions:

I will not make a lot of money doing this.
Most of my friends will not have read my work.
My work will likely not sit on a bookshelf.
I may never get picked up by an agent or be traditionally published.
No matter how much effort I put into being a published author, I may never sell more than 250 books.

This is all sobering information. If I write, I have to write for a reason other than external validation of sales and recognition, because I may not get those no matter how well I write. I will never be able to support myself this way, although it might be a nice addition to retirement income.

I have to write for myself. I have to write for the love of it. I have to write for the desire to improve my art, because I can’t count on being the shining exception to the rule.

On My Way Home

As vacations go …

As vacations go, this has been one of the best. After over a year without a vacation, I couldn’t do better than a couple relaxing days at a spa. I got a bunch of queries out with my new and improved cover letter, and I’ve gotten to realize that I need to do some daydreaming in with my writing/marketing. Need to break the non-writing loop.

My body is more relaxed than it has been for a year. The COVID tension has fallen from me and I finally feel like the world is recovering (note — I have gotten fully vaccinated). I’ve returned to writing in the tiled lobby of the Elms, and things feel near normal.

Wouldn’t it be nice?

Wouldn’t it be nice to hold a writers’ retreat here? I mean a writers’ retreat with more than one writer (me) in the house. There’s atmosphere, wine, dining, a spa, and those couches with built-in outlets in them. I don’t know what would make this a more perfect space. Not big enough for a large writers’ conference, but enough for a sweet retreat.

Me, a writer?

As I wrote that, I really wondered if I had the qualifications to be a writer. You’d think it was easy — I’ve written, I’ve published. But I have a large chunk of impostor syndrome because I’m also a professor. My works haven’t sold much. I have plenty of excuses to discount my qualifications as a writer.

But if I can spend a couple days writing at a picturesque (and relatively inexpensive) hotel and spa like The Elms, I think I can call myself a writer.

Years of growth

The background

Three years ago, I sent a manuscript to a major publisher who took direct submissions (as opposed to only agent-pitched works). I was optimistic about the manuscript, as I am always optimistic while sending manuscripts off.

I shouldn’t have been, I guess. Three years later, I received an email from the editor, form letter, that said they rejected the manuscript.

Three years later! I forgot I had written them. I don’t remember what manuscript I sent them!

Gratitude

I am grateful for the rejection. It wasn’t the nicest or most personal rejection I’ve gotten, but it is by far one of the best. Three years ago I wasn’t as good a writer as I am now. I have learned much in those three years and improved my manuscripts with the help of developmental editors and re-edits. Looking back, I wouldn’t have been proud of that document if it had been accepted.

So I will try again with another book (if I can figure out which book) and a new cover letter and send them another, if I can bear the three-year wait time. Ok, maybe not.

Catch me in the comments

What’s the best rejection you’ve ever had?

Looking for the World of Dreams

Lately my life has been too many words.

I work with words all day, and especially here in the summer, when I don’t have much else to do. I have been working on several projects, putting the words into place and polishing them up. Short stories, novels, cover letters — all have been revised. But I am weary of words; they’re not inspired at this stage.

Words and Dreams

Inspired words have to come from somewhere. In my case, they come from dreams and daydreams. The realm that is illogical. I dip into that realm, find the inspiration, and use that thought and the energy to influence building out the dream into something readable. This is why I write fantasy instead of, say, historical fiction.

I haven’t had any of that kind of inspiration lately, and it shows. All I have been doing is revising, the brain work. No aha reactions, no warm feeling of having a scenario in my head (in my case it’s in words, not pictures, because of my aphantasia.)

A wake-me-up

A fellow writer in a writer’s group has assigned me to people watching at the cafe, listening to some good music (in my case, either ambient or singer-songwriter compilations). I think I should take notes away from the computer, preferably with my brass Kaweko Sport fountain pen. And I shouldn’t think about what I should write, but see where the inspiration hits me. Hopefully short stories and poems, because with 7 novels and one to be revised and added to, I probably have more than enough novels to consider publishing.

So that’s my plan for this afternoon.

Momentum

I feel like I’m finally moving forward.

I’ve been working hard these past few weeks on all things Gaia. It’s been a fruitful week, with 320 new friends on Tik Tok, 25 people on my mailing list, and a handful of beta-readers and ARC readers for Gaia’s Hands. This might happen — I may get a book out in August.

Is there an addiction to accomplishment?

I think I’m addicted to accomplishing something. I know this is a typical drive for people, but many people get this accomplishment by doing crossword puzzles.

Artists and writers get this sense of accomplishment by creating things. Getting them out there for people is often secondary to actually making the artwork or story, and in fact many creatives (including myself) cringe at the marketing part.

When am I going to slow down?

I will have no choice but to slow down next week. Because of the end of COVID, I finally will be able to go to one of my favorite retreats, The Elms, to have a spa vacation/writing retreat. Mostly spa vacation, because I have much of a day to get a massage and spend time in saunas, hot tubs, and steam rooms. All in all not a bad way to relax.

Am I manic yet?

I don’t think so. Every day I take an afternoon nap and I get 7 hours of sleep a night. Those are not the signs of a manic swing. I have to worry about this because mania and depression are part of my life. Things I watch for:

Lack of sleep
Elation
Horribly painful crushes on people
Irritability
Starting up a whole bunch of new projects

Don’t worry — I’m keeping an eye on me.