Dogs or Cats?

This should not be any surprise for anyone who reads this blog, but in the debate between dogs and cats, I come down on the side of cats.

I have three cats, who are right now in the living room — Pumpkin Spice is lounging on the back of the couch, Chuckie is helping Richard make coffee, and Chloe is lurking around. Richard is talking to Chuckie, making up all sorts of new names for him, all on the variation of “Doofus”. (A doofus is a goofball, or silly creature). I can’t imagine life without them.

Cats are lovely creatures, graceful (except for Chuckie), silly (especially Chuckie), loving (we’re not so sure about Pumpkin Spice), intelligent, and curious. They’re little creatures with their own personalities, and they like to play little games with us like “Let me into the bathroom” (Chucky), “Imma lick your face” (Chloe), and “I love you I hate you” (Pumpkin Spice). They’re like idiosyncratic little people in fur suits.

I don’t mind dogs. I pet other people’s dogs. But dogs seem so dependent. They’re loyal and attuned to their owners. Cats, on the other hand, are not owned. They coexist with us and develop friendships. Dogs seem more like a hostage situation, although I’m not entirely sure who’s holding who hostage.

Obviously, I vastly prefer cats. My cats like me at least a little. How could I do without them?

Major catastrophic failure

My Scrivener files are a mess. Something happened with syncing that they are no longer opening on my iPad, and I’m afraid that if I open them up on my computer, the same thing will happen and all the versions will be corrupted (through a sync).

So I’m going to have to make and move copies before I open Scrivener and see if I can transfer the moved files back in. Otherwise I’m not sure what I can do to de-corrupt too many files.

Wish me luck.

Retreat almost over.

Last day of writing retreat — and I wrote a lot. Two chapters. It felt good. Also visited kitties. Ate Jamaican chicken curry. Had a marvelous time.

On This Writing Retreat

I’m on a writing retreat in KC, and although I haven’t written anything yet, I got to watch fireworks from the 35th floor of my hotel.

Today is writing, followed by going to the cat cafe to pet cats. Then maybe more writing. We shall see.

I’m at a crucial place in my story, a big reveal, and then chaos. It’s a bit intimidating to write. But I will make it.

Unhappy Fourth of July

It is the Fourth of July in the United States, and I do not feel like celebrating.

The US has become a pustulant place, the home of ugly prejudices and uglier dispositions. The White House flies huge flags as its latest jingoism while it tramples the rights of people and secures tax cuts for the richest. Traitors are pardoned while legal citizens are threatened with deportation.

We were never great for many of the people in the world: those we enslaved, those we colonized, those of color or of different sexual orientations. I know this; but the cruelty was decried as an exception. Now it is highlighted.

I always wondered whether the US would collapse eventually. It feels like it’s collapsing now. Our international reputation is in tatters; other countries are rooting for our demise. I don’t blame them — we have claimed to be the world’s leader but now we’re the world bully.

I do not celebrate today.

Current Work-In-Progress

I am finally back to writing. The current book, which has the same name as the previous book I was having trouble writing (Hiding in Plain Sight), is flowing nicely so far and is enjoyable to write. No feeling like I’m drifting along killing time. So far.

I am using the usual “plantsing” method for writing this book. I have a rough plot outline in Scrivener that I follow — it tells me what to expect in the chapter. Then I fill in the action from there. I feel more secure in this outline so far. I might get to the point where I wish I was writing a novella, or I beat my head against the wall looking for plot, but it hasn’t happened yet.

I like Alice Johnson as a protagonist. An anthropology grad student, a little absorbed in her folk tales, perhaps a little naive, she seems the perfect protagonist to contrast with the centuries-old yet new to relationships William. I think there’s enough to keep going.

Wish me luck.

What gets better with age?

I think anxiety gets better with age. After all, once someone gets older, they’ve seen everything. They’ve survived everything. They’re no longer thrown into the unknown.

Arguments

What could I give up for the sake of harmony? Arguments. These are the things that most disturb my otherwise harmonious life, yet I have trouble letting go of arguments.

In my opinion, I’m right, this is important, and you better back down. Simple, right? Real life doesn’t work that way. My husband insists he’s right, and not only is he wrong, but a disaster will ensue if we follow his direction. So we argue.

What if I gave in and said, “you’re right?” We’d probably die. I’m not kidding — there was the time with stacking the duraflame logs in the fireplace when they clearly had a carbon monoxide warning not to do that.

Not all our arguments are life-threatening, though. I suppose I could give in for some of those.

Cruising through Flatlands

My life is not very exciting. I don’t have any big vacations to get excited about; no momentous occasions. We didn’t have a big party for my 60th, and that’s the last milestone before I retire in about 5 years. The events of my life are mundane, and I have seen them before. I’m going to Lincoln, NE for an internship visit tomorrow. I will go to New York Hope in late July/early August (somewhere in there). I will probably go to Kansas City for Thanksgiving. There’s just nothing that I’m that excited about.

I think it might be my age. At my age (61), things can get pretty mellow. Life is not a rollercoaster ride anymore. It’s more like a road trip to an accustomed place — nice, but not new grounds. The terrain is pretty even, the travel smooth, the scenery familiar.

The thing I’m most looking forward to is getting more writing done on my latest book. I’ve finally found a book that wants to be written, and I’m having fun with it. Not a bad thing to look forward to.

My Hearing Problem

I was born with a high-frequency hearing loss. It didn’t manifest the way people typically think of when they think about hearing loss. I could hear most sounds, but those in the high frequencies of human speech — p, t, and d; f, s, and x were indistinguishable, especially in a loud room. My family thought I was just not listening.

I was not diagnosed until college, when I had access to an audiology lab on campus. There my hearing loss came out. High frequency losses weren’t treatable by hearing aids back then, and the audiologist said I was compensating well, so there was nothing to be done at the time.

By ‘compensating well’, they meant reading lips, which I really don’t do well. They meant asking people to repeat themselves. I do that very well. They meant sitting out of conversations because I couldn’t hear them, or nodding and playing along. I do that a lot.

My hearing has gotten worse. The rest of the frequencies are catching up with me because of age. I now don’t hear in crowded spaces at all, and have trouble catching up with social events. I tend to avoid social events because of this. It causes me pain sitting in conversations and missing things. It’s like being left out even when sitting in a group.

I am facing a social activity today with great reluctance. Too many people to pay attention to, too noisy a space. I will have to go and pretend to hear, and then say ‘that was fun’ even though it was a trial for me. We haven’t gotten past “we need to get you a hearing test” in discussions about getting me hearing aids. I am so frustrated.