The Winter That Was Barely There

Today we finally have a Winter day — three inches of snow on the ground and 31 degrees, so we’ll have the snow through tomorrow. That’s been the status of our snow. Barely enough to cover the ground, barely long enough to call a snow cover. No snow days in my future.

All our snow, strangely, gets forwarded to Kirksville, some 150 miles away. Or malingers just north of Omaha. We keep acting as if the big one is coming in any minute, but then we get barely enough to cover the ground. One doesn’t even have to shovel it, just look cross-eyed at the sidewalk.

Oh, do I long for the eight inches of snow weekly I got back in Oneonta! Now that was Winter! We still didn’t have snow days because New Yorkers are hardy! (They’re also talented complainers, at least the downstate variety are.) To be honest, it was a pain in the ass parking up the side of a hill with an inch of ice at the curb. But it was a camaraderie, hoping our cars were still there when we left the party.

So I’m going to look out the window watching the snow slowly melt. By tomorrow, we will have marshy ground again and it will freeze when we have no snow on the ground. And so it will cycle till Spring, which will come with a sudden fluffy snowstorm just to irk us here in Maryville.

More Big Audacious Goals

Three weeks into the new year and I still don’t have a Big Audacious Goal. I have goals, but they’re not new and they’re not big. For example, I want to publish my latest Kringle book in October, after writing (almost done) and brushing up (a lot). Publishing one’s fifth book (or is it sixth?) or writing one’s eighth book is not a Big Audacious Goal. It gives some satisfaction, but not the explosive happiness of accomplishing a new thing, a Big Audacious Goal (B.A.G.)

I have not accomplished all my B.A.G.s. The big one I haven’t accomplished is getting an agent. I tried for years to get one with my best efforts. Supposedly, my books are too short, although I have never been told that. I have done many revisions of my cover letter and synopsis with no luck. Maybe my writing is not marketable. I hope not! This will not be my B.A.G. again; I have become accustomed to self-publishing.

So, I need a B.A.G. One possibility would be writing a different genre than I’ve written before. As I’ve only written Fantasy, Romance, and Romantic Fantasy (and a space opera serial with somewhat romantic leanings), I have some genres I haven’t touched. Women’s Fiction (a self-discovery based genre), straight Fiction, and Horror seem to be the next candidates. I do not feel moved to write those genres, so that’s not likely to be my B.A.G..

There are some I’d love to take up as B.I.G., but I don’t have the resources for them. Build a she-shed in the backyard? I even have a place for it. I just don’t have the $10k plus to get a drop-in retreat, nor do I have the know-how to build it from scratch. (If magazines are to be believed, I can cobble it together from wooden pallets and a reclaimed fuse box. I do not have the skills, or even the pallets, to do it.)

I need something that will take skills and effort, is theoretically achievable, and gives me a thrill when I’ve completed it. A thrill worthy of a celebration at the local Greek steakhouse. If anyone has ideas for a Big Audacious Goal, let me know!

Friday the 13th and Other Superstitions

Photo by Artu016bras Kokorevas on Pexels.com

I do not feel cursed on Friday the 13th. I like to joke about it, but I realize that counting all the negative happenings on Friday the 13th and declaring the day unlucky is just confirmation bias. When we see what we expect to see, that’s confirmation bias.

The problem with superstitions is, after the expectation of doom develops, then comes the self-fulfilling prophecy. In thinking something bad is going to happen, the bearer of the superstition may act in a way that creates the prophecy. Someone with a Friday the 13th superstition may be so distracted by fear that they cross the street without looking.

There are several other superstitions I don’t share. Broken mirrors? I pick the shards up. Spilled salt? I admit I throw salt over my left shoulder because I think doing so is funny, especially at a restaurant. Hat on the bed? Is that a thing? Walking under ladders? The only doom there is for the person on the ladder, so I don’t do that. Opening an umbrella in the house? I think moms invented that superstition to keep kids from opening umbrellas in the house.

Don’t think I’m without my superstitions: I have superstitions of my making. I take a different path to a place than from a place, because I believe that will improve my day. I take a long, luxurious bath with good-smelling bath products before major happenings in my life because I believe it will improve my chances with whatever is happening. When I see dragonflies, I believe something unexpected is going to happen (usually good).

My superstitions are just as driven by confirmation bias as the mirrors and the salt, except they’re positive. No doom to prepare for, only self-fulfilling prophecies of good. Tripping myself into good things, yes, please!

As I sit whistling, my black cat looks at me curiously. It’s going to be a good day.

Taking Care of Myself

I’m getting old.

Monday night I stayed up a couple hours late doing some prepping for my classes. I had to adapt my lecture slide shows to make them more pedagogically effective, and I had until Thursday to get the first few slide shows done. Being an overachiever, I instead completed all fifteen weeks’ worth on Monday. I did not take care of myself.

I got through Tuesday’s work completing the other class, falling asleep sitting up. Now I’m on Wednesday, the day before my classes start, and I’m totally wiped out despite a good night’s sleep on Tuesday night.

I feel like I did when I was younger and got only three hours of sleep a night, which was not uncommon given that I hung out with computer programmers. I used to walk around like this all the time, and I do not know how I got through college this way. Or life.

Today I’ll be taking care of myself. A nap on the couch, some leisurely writing, and a promise to myself that I will not be staying up past my bedtime again.

A Model of Well-Being (or Happiness is Not Enough)

I’m teaching the positive psychology class again this semester. I love this class, because it’s all about what promotes happiness and well-being and how to find more well-being in one’s life. What more can you ask from a class?

Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology, breaks well-being into five factors (2011):

Positive emotion (Of which happiness and life satisfaction are all aspects)
Engagement
Relationships
Meaning and purpose
Accomplishment

This, not surprisingly, is known as the PERMA model.

To go through each letter:

Positive emotion: Basic happiness, including hedonic happiness based on consumption of goods and experiences.
Engagement, or connecting: With hobbies and activities, volunteerism, and work. The idea is to do, not just experience.
Relationships: Good relationships. Not just romantic, but friendship; familial; connection with co-workers and the people around.
Meaning: Feeling a purpose beyond oneself. This does not have to be religious in nature.
Accomplishment: Completion of goals, development of expertise, recognition of work.

An instance can fulfill more than one of the PERMA aspects. For example, I do moulage — casualty simulation — making people look like disaster victims as a volunteer for the Emergency and Disaster Management program. Through both my absorption in applying the makeup and my involvement in a volunteer activity, I achieve engagement. Through my improvement in skills over the past several years, I achieve accomplishment. You could stretch this even further regarding my connection to the other staff members as relationships.

To achieve well-being (which is more than happiness or life satisfaction) one should be fulfilling all five.

This is one of the first things I will be teaching in class. I’m glad I got to teach you first.

Seligman, M. (2011). Excerpt from Flourish: Authentic Happiness. Available: https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/learn/wellbeing [January 7, 2023]

First SMART Goal: Writing

One of my goals for the New Year is to get back into a steady writing discipline. I began three books and finished none in 2022. I have been backing off on writing because I have not felt inspired. Yet writing is a way to open the mind to creativity, and to allow new thoughts to pass through. I have, therefore, dealt with a vicious cycle, where I don’t write because I don’t feel creative and I don’t feel creative because I am not writing.

I need to get the discipline and enjoyment of writing back. To make the goal SMART — specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound — I may have to set my daily word goal for less than I do when I’m writing for NaNoWriMo. During NaNo, I write 2000 words a day; that may be too much when I need to take baby steps toward the goal. So my goal, as SMART as possible, is:

I will write 1000 words a day on some sort of fiction work either early morning or in the afternoon after work starting January 3 2023.

Is the goal specific? Yes. I know what, when, and how much.
Is it measurable? Yes. If I don’t write 1000 words by evening, I haven’t done it.
Is it achievable? I think so. 1000 words is a suitable compromise between zero and 2000. (To give you an idea of what 1000 words look like, the bulleted section you are now reading is 82 words.)
Is it relevant? To a writer, it is.
Is it action oriented? Yes, it focuses on writing.

Notice I set the date for today, so I’m going to have to write soon. I will write on the Christmas Kringle book unless one of the other two books — Avatar of the Maker or Walk Through Green Fire — tempts me away from that book.

Big Audacious Goal 2023

In 2022, I did not have any Big Audacious Goals. Big Audacious Goals (BAG) are exactly what they sound like — big goals that are above and beyond the goals that one traditionally sets for oneself. My goals for 2022 were all prosaic and not tied to big dreams. (I published Gaia’s Hands on January 1 2022, but all the work for that happened in 2021, so I count that as a 2021 Big Audacious Goal.)

Having no Big Audacious Goals last year set a tone for my year that does not fit with who I am. I am the sort of person who likes to accomplish things that push me beyond where I was before. I’m the sort of person who likes to celebrate accomplishments. It feels like I spent last year hiding in the living room watching TV or something (I did not; it’s a metaphor). I had goals; just not Big Audacious ones.

This morning, I set a BAG. The goal is to re-edit Apocalypse, create a query bundle, and send it out to agents by the end of March. I will make it a SMART goal soon (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time Bound), and the plan will fall into place after that. Then it’s just time to make the plan happen.

I like the feeling of having a Big Audacious Goal. It energizes me; it makes me feel a little extraordinary even though my BAG doesn’t make me famous or impressive. I feel good about my BAG and the opportunity to accomplish and celebrate.

Wish me luck.

Dreams to Goals

I’ve said in an earlier post that I make goals, not resolutions. The reason I gave was that resolutions are not actionable (I didn’t put it exactly this way, but that’s it in a nutshell.) A resolution is “I’m going to do this one vague thing”, and without a plan and the ability to revise it, it’s just a wish. A goal is the path to success.

On the other hand, my idea of making plans instead of resolutions isn’t very aspirational. It focuses on the prosaic mind, the part of existence that Gets It Done. How does that prosaic mind know what to get done? Through manipulating dreams into goals. “I would love it if…” becomes “I will do this” and a goal is born. From “How do I make this happen?” the goal becomes the basis for a plan.

I might as well admit I have dreams. I’m superstitious about admitting them, because I’ve been ridiculed over them as a child. But without the dreams, my goals become repetitive, maintenance-based, and dull. So here are my dreams for the year:

I dream of being traditionally published.
I dream of having enough readership of my works that my name is recognized.
I dream of having enough readership to make it worthwhile to have a booth at Gatewaycon.
I dream of getting royalty payments from Amazon.

Lightning hasn’t struck me; I guess it’s okay to admit my dreams.

Taking the first dream as an example, let’s turn it into a goal:

I dream of getting traditionally published > I will submit a query to agents.

(Agents are gatekeepers to the traditional publishing process. Queries are the bundles of materials writers submit for their consideration. That bundle includes a cover letter, excerpts of the work in question, and a synopsis).

I will submit a query to agents > I develop a plan to do so; carry out the plan.

This is how the dream becomes a plan.

The one thing is that the execution of the plan doesn’t always mean success. This could be because of internal factors inside myself that need correction, problems with the plan that need fixing, or external factors that can be controlled for. And, sometimes, external factors beyond my control. The more outside factors beyond one’s control, the more likely the dream will stay at the dream stage. For example, if I dream of winning the lottery, there’s not much I can do to actually win it beyond buying one or more tickets.

New Year’s Day, I will set up goals based on these dreams and develop them into plans as I go through the year. It’s more fun dreaming them, but not as fruitful. Wish me luck.

Thinking about the New Year

Christmas is over, and I am back from my holiday trip. New Year’s Eve is coming, and thoughts of the New Year flit through my vaguely ADHD mind.

As I’ve shared on this blog before, I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions, finding them a setup for failure. In short, a resolution looks like a goal, but it’s lacking the plan. And without the plan, the resolution fails. Plans fail as well, but built into the best of plans is a feedback loop where the planner diagnoses where and how they’ve failed and reworks the plan to take that into account.

I like the ritual part of resolutions and the clean slate of the new year, however. So I have my ritual. I think of all the things I want to accomplish for the year, and I do a little of each on New Year’s Day as a commitment to those things in my life.

These are the things I will be doing a little bit of on New Year’s Day:

Writing
Work
Leisure
Housework
Quality time with my husband
Petting cats
Promoting my writing
Indulging my warped sense of humor
Showing compassion
Socializing (at least on Facebook)

Although I won’t make any resolutions, I have goals I will pursue in 2023. The goals I have for my writing career are:

Revisit Apocalypse and send out queries
Finish Kringle on Fire and Avatar of the Maker
Develop an advertising plan for my existent books
Develop promo for Gaia’s Hands
Find a Big Audacious Goal

2022 was a low-key year for me. I’m willing to ramp up a bit for 2023.

A Snow Day at Starved Rock

I haven’t been to Starved Rock for the holidays for two years. I’m there now, sitting by the fireplace in the Great Hall, writing. There are children running around, and there’s enough snow outside that we’re in a winter storm warning. A promising start to Christmas.

Starved Rock is a state park in LaSalle County, IL, near where I grew up. Full of sandstone bluffs and trees, it is one of the best places to see fall color in the US and is picturesque in the winter. It can get horrendously busy at Memorial Day and Fourth of July, so I would not recommend going at those times. Come in the fall or winter, although if you want to stay at the lodge, reserve early.

Nearby Utica is a cute, tiny tourist town worth visiting and Ottawa is a college town without a college. We’re close enough to Chicago to get their tourists, which builds the local economy, but far enough away that the area is still uncrowded.

Today I don’t think we’ll go out in the snow. I may write here; I will sit by the Great Hall fireplace and possibly build a fire at our cabin. There’s a hot tub I might go in later, and maybe I’ll take a nap. I may be in the best place in the world for a snow day.