Contentment

Before I received treatment for my bipolar disorder, the predominant positive emotion I felt was elation. Elation is great until it edges upward into a state of jagged agitation and anxiety, and then crashes into despair. Elation also came with judgment lapses, and although my lapses weren’t severe, they’re things I don’t want to go through again.

Photo by Sebastian Voortman on Pexels.com

Nowadays, my most common positive emotion is contentment. Contentment is a grounded state that is my default these days. It feels much more comfortable and sustainable. I feel more able to cope with the world.

Do I miss elation? Sometimes I do, because elation was a fleeting high, one which was very attractive. But then I remember the rest of the baggage that came with it, and I don’t want to go back there. I prefer contentment with its satisfying continuity.

Update

I’m back from my adventure in New York. I still feel like I could use some sleep.

I only have two weeks until classes start again. Where did the time go?

Here’s hoping I feel like writing again before I run out of time.

Big Audacious Goal completed!

I made a Big Audacious Goal that I would blog for 365 straight days and I did it!

I made the goal because I have a tendency to drop things when I get bored, and I want to break that habit. I don’t know that I have, but 365 sustained days is an accomplishment.

I’m going to take a short break and then begin to blog again. See you later!

One more day

One more day after today and I will reach my Big Audacious Goal of writing every day for a year!

A Little Late Today

I normally write this blog at 6 AM, before I start my day. On days when I’m doing Moulage (casualty simulation) at an exercise, I’m elbow-deep in nose and scar wax at that point. So I have to wait to blog until after I’ve finished and scrubbed my hands of all the fake blood.

One intense day done, and I’m in the middle of intense day #2. I am so tired. I’m getting 5 hours of sleep a night, and I can tell. I’m dreaming of sleeping in tomorrow.

No pictures from the event, because all mine are gory.

Writing late today. I have already done morning moulage, making up several people to look like victims. I’m dragging a bit even though I got enough sleep last night. It’s a long couple of days. Wish me luck.

Am at my destination. Participated in an excellent leadership workshop (which continues today) and didn’t get enough sleep, which is par for the course for New York Hope.

In four more days, I will have done a whole year of daily blogging!

Really quick note ..

Still on the road — it’s amazing how much sitting in a van for 12 hours really tires one out. Nothing to take pictures of in Elkhart IN, but here we are. See you tomorrow!

Quick post

Quick blog post — we’re packing for our adventure to New York. We have to pack a lot with the moulage and everything. I’ll keep you posted.

Big Audacious Goal Alert

Eight days till my Big Audacious Goal of blogging every day for a year is realized! The only problem is that, starting tomorrow, I am on the road for my annual disaster training exercise in New York State. (As a reminder, I do casualty simulation for this and another exercise in October.) This means two days in a van in each direction, and a disrupted schedule. If there was any time I could fail, it would be this week.

Photo by Nubia Navarro (nubikini) on Pexels.com

I am probably going to write short blogs those days, because I will likely be writing some of them from the van, and I am the sort who gets carsick if I do too much writing in cars. I will try to keep it interesting enough, though, and write a minimum of “contractual obligation” posts.

Maybe I’ll take pictures. I don’t take pictures often enough. I’ll try not to get gross casualty simulation pictures, though.