Interrogating Forrest Gray

When I have a new character for a future writing (in this case a short story), I feel compelled to have a conversation with them. To interrogate them, as it were.

I walk into the cafe, looking around for the young man I’ll meet for coffee. One of the great things about being a writer at age 60 is that you can have imaginary coffee with good looking young men.

My coffee date sits in the back corner. Not tall, and not big, he leans back in the chair reading a book. His black hair falls just past his shoulders.

He looks up and smiles as if it’s a habit of his. I know his father and his mother; it tracks. Deep brown eyes and a short nose, an oval face, the face of the Siberian aboriginals, the face of the Bering Strait Archetype’s Nephilim son.

“I was wondering when you would catch up with me.” Forrest put down the book, which I noted was on natural dyeing techniques. I had heard Forrest had apprenticed himself to Elaine and her fiber arts at the collective.

“Elaine has just forgiven me for how much fermenting Chinese indigo smells.” Forrest raises his eyebrows; he has his father’s charm and his mother’s gift with words. “Luckily, I’m not dyeing at her space; Janice found a spare corner of her barn space she’s letting me use.”

“Aasha hasn’t needed you at the infirmary lately, has she?” Forrest’s talent was the knitting of bones, of skin, and oddly the knitting of wool.

“No, but Baird had a kid — a baby goat — who had broken his toe. We fixed that up for him. Cute little kid. I’ll be honest, I don’t like using my gift, but it’s better that we have it for emergencies.”

“I’m curious,” I said. “Are you planning on staying at Barn Swallows’ Dance?”

He brushed back his hair. “I think so. I couldn’t use my talents outside, you know. I don’t know what an ordinary doctor would make of me, although I’m told we are within tolerances of human. And my mother’s here, still trying to figure out how I grew up so quickly.”

“You were born grown-up!” I grimaced at him.

“She knows that, of course. She knows she didn’t sign up for an ordinary family.”

“Does your dad still visit?” I asked cautiously.

“All the time. He’s become fascinated with Barn Swallows’ Dance, particularly in the dinner menu. And he still courts my mother, who considers him ‘not bad for a man’.” Forrest laughed. “I think they’re quite the couple despite that.”

“What do you do at the collective when you’re not fixing bones?”

“A little of everything. I’m on sheep-shearing duty, and I’m trying to figure out the alpacas. I work with Jeanne, particularly in grafting trees; we’re working on better apricots in the food forest right now. I’m trying to take over the coffee roasting from Jeanne, but she caught onto that pretty quick.”

I ask my last question, wondering how Forrest will answer. “What are you looking for?”

“I don’t know. I am looking for something, or maybe something is looking for me. My father was never a mystic; an Archetype’s relationship with the Maker is rather prosaic. My mother, on the other hand, believes in things. Probably because she’s from Barn Swallows’ Dance. I’m just waiting, though, for it to show its face.”

It’s Only Wednesday

… and I’m exhausted.

It could be three trips to St. Joseph in four days. It could be my escapades in St. Joe chasing a wayward cart flying down the street in 90-degree weather. It could be waiting for what the doctor is going to do about my mildly leaky heart, if anything. It could be the fact that my dear little Pumpkin kept me up doing heaven knows what last night. It could be the time of the semester, or it could be the time of year (a nap and pumpkin spice sound lovely.)

I haven’t written for a couple of days, and I have little time to write today. I feel like writing, because I haven’t written on my book, either. 

Things have been going well. After the author fair I attended on Sunday, I watched my flat cart roll down a hill at an alarming speed1. Luckily, it hit no cars. Sometimes “going well” is relative. 

I have a very busy couple of weeks. Internship visits today and tomorrow. Wednesday I have a moulage2 session for the Northwest Missouri Docudrama (don’t drink/text and drive simulation), followed by an internship presentation. Thursday should calm down, but the following week is Missouri Hope, the major moulage event of the year. 

I’m hoping to carve out some time to write between these happenings and the usual tasks to teaching and grading. A little Starbucks time would be nice. At least I got to type this out.

ALSO: Kringle on Fire is live on Amazon!

  1. The 900 block of Jules St., St. Joseph, MO. ↩︎
  2. Casualty simulation. Making people into victims for training purposes. ↩︎

Update on the Kitty

Kitty’s name is Pumpkin, even though she’s pure black. Not sure how that happened, except I called her a little pumpkin.

She’s a sweet cat. She does not like being picked up and emphatically doesn’t like her belly rubbed like Chloe, but she enjoys rubbing against my legs and getting petted.

Richard needs more quality time with her. We want him to have a cuddlebeast in his life.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

We’re going to get a kitty!

We lost Girlie-Girl a few weeks ago (old age) and feel we have missed a presence of a fourth kitty in the house. I put Richard in the position of finding the cat we want to adopt, and we ended up finding a year-old cat on Facebook.

We’re going to pick her up today on our way home from Kansas City. She’s pure — almost pure — black and she’s supposedly a laid back and sweet girl. For the most part our cats are laid back but for the neurotic Me-Me, who gets her name for the reasons you imagine.

I imagine this will be Richard’s cat, because I already have a cuddle kitty named Chloe (the tortoiseshell one), who likes stretching out next to me and really likes her belly rubbed. We weren’t counting on a cuddly tortie, but there we are.

I’m not sure of the wisdom of taking the kitten on a two-hour car ride, but she’ll be in a carrier. Probably yelling all the way home.

The Health Scare

“That’s an interesting murmur you got there.” So said the PA as she moved the stethoscope around my chest.

“I’ve never had a murmur before.” My dad had a murmur, which eventually caused him a lot of problems, but he was born with it. I couldn’t believe that a murmur would hit me out of nowhere, like a Mack truck barrelling down the highway.

But my doctor is going to schedule me an echocardiogram when she gets back from vacation. I personally don’t think she’s going to find anything. It just seems so improbable to me. And I don’t want to think about what would cause it. It could be nothing, it could be heart disease, it could be something the doctors have missed all along.

I’ll go to my echo, and see what it’s all about. Hopefully it’s nothing.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

A Bit of Writer’s Block

I need to go back to writing on Avatar of the Maker, as I have only written about 2000 words in the past week. I could get it written in a month if I could get 1000 words a day. The problem is that I’m not eager anymore because of the remaining part being before the big ending and after Leah’s pregnancy revelation.

What would it take to get more eager? I need to talk to Baird. Baird is one of the male protagonists (this is not a love triangle!) He’s half-human, half immortal Archetype, and he’s in love with Leah. He’s a deliberate person, and could be accused of being slow by someone who didn’t know better. He’s a marshmallow in romance parlance.

I need to find his orneriness. I need to find his edge. I need to see him be worthy opposition to headstrong Leah. This part is murky and I don’t know where to go. How frustrating.

Photo by Noel McShane on Pexels.com

A Book Fair and Imposter Syndrome

I am selling my wares at a book sale at the end of the month. I have only done one book fair before, a couple of years ago. That book fair was in my small home town’s library, and this next one will be down the road in St. Joe, three times larger.

I think I know what I’m doing. I have books: Gaia’s Hands, The Kringle Conspiracy, Kringle in the Night, It Takes Two to Kringle, and Kringle on Fire. I have business cards (I think). I have handouts featuring all my books, including Apocalypse (coming soon!) I have giveaways (squishy apples) and a “vertical” (a visual element; mine is a driftwood tree branch with hanging apples).

I still feel way out of my league.

I feel like a newb, even though I have been writing and selling books for years. (Writing a lot more than selling, to be honest.) I don’t feel like a grownup when I promote myself. I don’t feel like a professional when I promote myself. I feel like an imposter!

I have to remind myself: I’ve earned money doing this. Therefore I’m a professional. Therefore what I do is professional.

I’ll keep telling myself that …

Now I’m 60

Today I turned 60. It doesn’t feel much different than yesterday, when I was only 59. Except the number makes me feel, well, old.

I’ve been thinking about getting older — 50s and 60s old, not 40s old. I’ve come up with the following:

  • Nobody says “you don’t look your age” to me any longer.
  • My colleagues ask me if I’m retiring. If the US had a decent healthcare system, then I would be able to retire.
  • I realize anyone I get a crush on is old enough to be my kid. Total buzzkill.
  • Where did all these bruises come from? Oh, yeah, I stumbled over my feet yesterday.
  • I no longer see myself as one of the fresh new authors out there.
  • Two words: Senior Discount
  • My idea of an exciting evening is curling up to watch TikTok (all the clips of medical shows on there!)
  • I feel very young for 60. I don’t know what I expected.