Mornings with my Husband

Every morning

Every morning, my husband and I get up at 5 (me willingly, him reluctantly) so we can spend time with each other (and the cats) before we go to work. Richard makes the coffee and gets us cereal for breakfast while I type up the morning blog. The cats — the only one I see now is the blue (grey) tabby and white Me-Me curled up against a box of LaCroix.

I sit on the loveseat where my station for writing is set; Richard sits on the couch. We usually play music, with me in control, which means iTunes and one of their ‘Essentials’ series. Today is an exception; we’re playing the Chess soundtrack because I’m been hearing too much ABBA on Oldies Internet Radio. (Link there –the B’s in ABBA helped write the Chess soundtrack). Richard and I talk about the music because I have strong opinions — and sometimes so does he.

He finds me pictures of cute cats and goats and sends them to me, and delivers my daily dose of chocolate. His love language is acts of service. Mine is verbal communication and sense of humor. It’s a great way to spend coffee

These days of summer

These days when I have all day to do things relative to my writing, it seems that Richard goes off to work way early. I could keep him here all day if it weren’t for the fact that we are both earners. Today he goes in the next 20 minutes, and there will be less laughter and less brightness to the day.

As a love story

As a love story, Richard and I are very mellow. Maybe this is fitting with our ages, or maybe we’re just mellow people. We’re definitely not the love story written in romance novels (are there even middle-aged love stories?)

I wouldn’t trade our love story for anything.

Question for you

Would you read a mellow love story if it had some realistic tension in it?

Today is my 55th birthday.

Today is my 55th birthday.

I don’t know what to think about that.

Turning 40 didn’t faze me — it felt no different than the year before. I had just gotten tenure, and I felt like I was at the top of my game.

Turning 50 didn’t faze me — it felt little different than being 40. I didn’t know what all the fuss people made about turning 50 was about.

At age 55, though, I suddenly feel like I have entered into the world of Advancing Age. That’s why 55 bothers me — it’s the age at which “matronly” replaces “sexy”. The age at which I could retire early if I worked at something more lucrative than professoring. The age at which I could join the Red Hat — oh, wait, that was five years ago, something I conveniently forgot. I am officially a ma’am, no longer a MILF (Ok, fine, I never was).

But the thing that really drove my advancing age home to me was that I am finally eligible for Senior Discounts. At no age previously has someone tried to attach the word “senior” to my existence. As long as I felt 35 at age 40, or 40 at age 50, my actual age didn’t matter. But now I can say “I’d like the senior breakfast” and not get carded.

That’s what really makes me feel old. Not that I mind the discount, but …

The Nerve Center of a Small Town

When I first moved to Maryville, a small town in Northwest Missouri, I asked my department chair where I could take my parents for Sunday breakfast. She said, without hesitation, “Hy-Vee Cafeteria.”  Hy-Vee is the local grocery chain and their cafeteria is nothing fancy. But if you want to get a feel for Maryville, the cafeteria should be your choice for breakfast.

The cafeteria sports vinyl booths with abstract patterns in subdued grey-blue and grey-pink that have become more subdued with wear, and mismatched black chairs at low-maintenance blond tables. Out the plate-glass windows I can see the purple-rose of dawn through the Christmas trees for sale.

At 7:00 AM, a man in a yellow-green safety jacket applies himself to his eggs and coffee. I’m A group of men, some younger with the blue-green colors of the high school, have finished breakfast and say their parting words. The group of farmers, one in a grizzled beard declaring that “I won’t vote for him next year, “ left a few minutes before, as a man in a cowboy hat and a woman with faded orange hair and glasses choose a booth for themselves as the boys’club of six AM shifts to middle-age couples in plaid flannel and sweatshirts and jeans.

In an hour or so, young families will trickle in, some I would recognize from the university, some I’m less likely to recognize from town. Families here live in a different Maryville than I do, one that has Christmas parades and pageants and high school football. Townies live in a different Maryville than I do, one that has tractor parades and benefit dinners and the Live Nativity. My culture lies in fragments across the United States, in coffeehouses, on the cliffs of Starved Rock, in the leche at a bakery in Hermosa Park, in the South Lounge of the Illini Union, in a thunderstorm in the Catskills.

But we all end up in the cafeteria at the local Hy-Vee for breakfast.