Tag: progress

What is the opposite of progress?

I continue to pants* this book (Carrying Light) and as I write, there’s so many questions I need to address in the edits**:

This represents the plot holes in the current draft.
  • Is the collective’s reaction to the chaos outside too much, too soon?
  • Will they really invest in self-sufficiency when Luke, an Archetype who has seen collapse before, suggests they empty the coffers to buy items that will help them be self-sufficient?
  • Will they then realize that they can’t be entirely self-sufficient, that they can’t grow all the foods they need to survive given the amount of land they own?
  • Does the stalemate at the college’s gates last too long?
  • Do Sage and Forrest do enough drifting apart before they join forces again?
  • Is all their looking for alternatives to their current lifestyle filler or necessary world-building? (I’d say necessary world-building; otherwise their adaptations seem like magic)
  • Are there enough fantastical elements in this story?

* Pantsing: writing by the seat of one’s pants.

**This story is taking about two months to write. It will take about forever to edit.

Progress!

Now, finally, as the summer winds down, I’m feeling motivated! The book and cover for It Takes Two to Kringle are almost done. I have brushed up my query letter and synopsis of Apocalypse in case I get motivated to query it. I have done little with Avatar of the Maker, but I have reconciled myself with the fact that Leah is going to be a pregnant eighteen-year-old.

Photo by Miguel u00c1. Padriu00f1u00e1n on Pexels.com

I think I’ve said this before — my mind needs to be split between two things for me to be productive in writing. I’ve proven this every summer, when the first half of the summer is free, while the second half sends me chasing down interns and expecting the beginning of fall semester.

It’s possible that this is what it takes to be distracted from my perfectionism. Maybe it’s inertia taking over during free times. Perhaps I just need the dichotomy of work and writing to turn my mind toward writing. The best use of my time is all or nothing. But at least I’m making progress.

A Little More on Short Stories

So the new short story, Runesansu, is finished at 4100 words. It feels strange writing short stories, because they’re not all-encompassing for months like novels are. I don’t get that intense immersion into characters. 

And, the thing that bothers me, I don’t get dev edits. It’s not worth the money to go through a dev edit for 4100 words, but it would be nice to get that developmental eye that can tell whether you’ve slowed down in the middle or gone off the rails. I mean, could these stories be better? I don’t know.

All in a day — it’s Thursday, and I’m sleepy. I’m going to post the new story today or tomorrow. Let me know what you think!

A good rejection

Yesterday I got another rejection, but I didn’t feel too bad about it.

I sent the query out for Mythos at least a year ago, and since then, I’ve learned a lot about writing. I’ve learned about developmental editing and beta-reading and about taking out the cherished bits that don’t do anything to further character or plot.

 In fact, Mythos as a book doesn’t exist any more — part of it has been cannibalized for the book Apocalypse, which is the next book to go into dev editing. There’s been lots of editing there already. So I’ve gotten a rejection on a book that no longer exists.

Every time I think I’ve learned nothing, I can look back on what Mythos was before its editing and incorporation into Apocalypse. In effect, Mythos was an idea with a lot of character development and a plot driven by nebulous bad guys and disconnected portents. The bones, however, were good enough to develop into a different story.

So all in all, this was a good rejection.

Progress and Struggle

Sorry I didn’t write yesterday, but I was busy getting a good stream of writing done. I’m actually about 2-3000 words from the end of Prodigies, doing the wrap-up and solidifying a few surprises I added in. I can’t believe I’m getting done with this!

My next steps are:
  • Waking up my beta-readers for Mythos and see if they’re having trouble starting the document or it’s just life stuff keeping them from reading.
  • Finishing Hearts are Mountains 
  • Revising Prodigies and Hearts are Mountains
  • Find more beta-readers
  • Keep myself from falling into an ugly cycle
More on the ugly cycle. I’m struggling in the aftermath of Anthony Bourdain’s suicide. I think it’s hitting me, even though I didn’t know him personally, but because I share his philosophy of experiencing cultures through their foods. I don’t have the ability to travel as much as he did, but I still let that desire for adventures with people and hospitality to guide my steps.
I’m also struggling with it because I’ve had times where I have had suicidal ideations, those moments where I consider dying as the only way to get rid of an avalanche of pain. The surprising thing is that these moments don’t often happen in a depressive state. They’re just as likely to happen when there’s a triggering event that results in a downward spiral of emotion. During these times, I actually try to talk myself into a suicidal state out of habit, choosing the darkest and most miserable things to think about. The typical dark thoughts go as follows:
  • I’m not good enough
  • I’m too weird
  • Nobody loves me/cares about me.
These are hard to argue against, because they’re opinion and not fact. Depending on one’s yardsticks, my viewpoint is just as legit as an outsider’s, and my proofs are just as valid as someone else’s. Fighting these rationally only drives me further down the hole.
What I have to remember is that these feelings come from a place deep inside me, where my child-self hides and needs to know that she is loved no matter what. And she wants to test it and make it real, because she’s been disappointed too many times. 
I love her and will stay with her no matter what. I will not threaten to leave her if she’s not perfect, or if she’s a bit embarrassing. I will always be here for her no matter if she panics, or she snaps at me or argues with me. 
I will not let her fall.