Faith

A memory of Friends Meeting

It’s been years since I’ve gone to Friends’ Meeting (what we often call Quaker Meeting), mostly because there is no meeting place here in town and the nearest meeting is 90 miles away. However, I remember a concept we had there, a way of thinking about the world and our actions. Actually, two concepts related to each other.

The first is waiting for the way to open. When one is choosing an action, one doesn’t give it up right away, assuming that it will fail. Instead, one waits for the way to open, waits for something to happen, with the guidance of other Friends which we call a clearness committee.

By Boscophotos – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=43877061

The other is laying something down. We also do this with the guidance of other Friends. The idea behind this is that sometimes it’s just time to let go of what we’re doing, again with a clearness committee.

The idea with the clearness committee isn’t that they speak from their own opinions. The committee centers themselves with the speaker with the belief they will speak from Spirit and give inspired guidance. Does this always work? I have a divorce that proves it doesn’t. But it’s good to feel supported by others.

I need a clearness committee

I have a lot of things going on that are unsuccessful by most standards. I have unread books, a blog with 10 regular followers, not much luck with social media, and a feeling of aimlessness. Is it time to lay my writing career down or try new tricks with promoting?

My husband might get called into a committee soon. I’ll let you know.

’tis a gift to be simple

I had this old song, beloved by Quakers, in my head:

‘Tis a gift to be simple

’tis a gift to be free

’tis a gift to come down

where we want to be

And when we come down

in a place just right

it will be in the valley

of love and delight.

When true simplicity is gained,

to bow and to bend we will not be ashamed

To turn, to turn, will be our delight

till by turning, turning, we come round right.

**********

But what does that mean?

Simplicity is one of the tenets of Quaker (Friends) belief. The belief is that, if we keep our lives simple enough, we may hear the divine in the silence. We may clear away the clutter to find what’s essential. We may find that we feel better living right-sized instead of large. We may see ourselves as a part of the world rather than centering it on ourselves.

The song is comforting. I still keep my life a little too complex, although COVID has pared back some of that. I still fault myself for not being in the place I want to be (with some renown), but perhaps I’m in the place I should be.

Memorial Day

Sunday morning and — No, it’s Monday. Memorial Day, when we look back at all those who have died in military service.

As a Friend (Quaker), I am a pacifist. We believe that violence, even violent words, is to be avoided. We call this the Peace Testimony, and that is one of the most vital creeds of a religion that has no dogma.

We hold nothing against our men and women in the military; we abhor the system that exploits them for battle. Quakers believe there are no just wars and that there are alternatives that need to be tried. Wars are fought for geopolitical advantage these days, and in earlier days were fought for land and empire. They were not fought for ordinary folk, but ordinary folk stood as cannon fodder.

This doesn’t mean the Friends don’t honor the soldiers who have died in war. We mourn them deeply, perhaps more so because we feel they didn’t have to die.

So Memorial Day is a strange day for me, a reminder that thousands go to war and fewer return. And I would thank every soldier for following their convictions, yet hope they find a way clear from that path.

Callings and the Household’s Stories

First off, Marcie says hi. She’s just about done with her first novel, Chucky the Cat Saves the World. She’s tried to convince Chucky to illustrate it, but the negotiations haven’t been going well.

Meanwhile, I’m trying to convince Girly-Girl, who’s sitting next to me, to write a memoir. I’ve suggested the title I’ve Seen Everything and I Don’t Care Anymore. She didn’t care for that.

i’m trying to convince my husband to seek out an agent. He writes in science fiction and he understands the genre very well — its subject matter; its focus on machines, science, and battles; its masculinist roots. I believe he could find an agent pretty quickly, and I wonder if the reason I felt called to writing was to get him to write, and find him a career.

I’m still confused as to what I’ve been called to do, and whether I’ve been called to write. Callings are very important among Quakers — we believe that if we sit quietly enough, God will show us our callings. I haven’t felt anything as a calling for so long that I feel adrift.

When I start writing again, calling or no, I don’t know what I’ll start writing on again. I’m afraid of the creative memoir about bipolar disorder. Although it’s attractive being heard, I don’t want people to think of me as “THAT person,” the one you have to keep an eye on. Yes, as open as I am about my situation, I am afraid of people who judge. Sometimes I want to run away from this blog because I’ve talked about it here.

I feel stymied by Hearts are Mountains. It’s reading like a depressing travelogue, and I don’t know what it needs. It’s a bit flat. I might want to go back to Prodigies, but I wonder if that’s going very well either. I doubt everything since all the rejections.

I hope that I find my direction soon — in or out of writing, I don’t know. But I hope I find my calling.