Computer Problems

Did I mention my darling geriatric kitty, Me-Me, peed on my computer the other day*? I didn’t know until it started ticking. And zapping. And smoking. And sizzling. Then I watched its battery meter plummet to zero, and that was the end of my computer.

I would do very poorly living in the future I’m imagining for my friends at Barn Swallows’ Dance right now, one in which they wait for the technological world as they know it to collapse. I have discovered that my computer is an extension of me — at least an extension of my creativity.

I know I could write on paper, but the convenience is gone. With the current technology, I can write and edit in Scrivener (a composition software), proofread in ProWritingAid, and format in Atticus. I can download the ePub file or pdf file which will go straight into KDP for publication. I can create covers for the book in Photoshop. If that sounded like a bunch of babble to you, I just described the steps of writing a novel from writing to publication.

I now have a new — well, used — Surface Book 2, hopefully temporary. Once I got rid of the glitch that caused mouse clicks to fail and me to consider yeeting it through a window, it’s working pretty well. It’s a pretty muscular machine with a separate video card and an i7 processor (That’s technobabble for “good for graphics but not top of the line video professional specs”).

Photo by Ju00c9SHOOTS on Pexels.com

My goal for our tax return is to get a similarly-situated machine with updated specs, maybe a faster i7 chip. The biggest thing about a new machine over this one is that this one is not only technologically obsolete, but is probably at the end of its service life, or how long it will live before it breaks. And I don’t want to be without a computer again anytime soon.


*You may wonder what would possess a 14-year-old cat to crawl on top of a table and maneuver herself to pee on a computer. I myself wonder. My best guess is jealousy, as I pay a lot of attention to my computer.

A spectacularly bad day

Yesterday was my first day of fall semester at Northwest Missouri State University, where I have been teaching for 21 years. And it was the most spectacularly bad day I’ve had in ages. I’m still laughing about it.

It started with getting in to Maryville after five hours sleep. That’s okay — I get dressed in my good clothes and put on makeup and even get my parking hang tag and card swiper (for attendance) before arriving at my office. I have time for last minute prep. I hook my computer in and turn it on —

ZAPZAPZAPZAPZAP… my computer keeps making this buzzing noise, and I turn it off and on again. And it doesn’t turn on. I grab my cell phone to call the help desk, and find I left my cell phone at home. And I don’t have any Nepresso pods in my office. 

I borrow the old spare computer and — it doesn’t work either.

So, instead of covering the course site and syllabus, I have to completely wing two sessions of case management. I did marvelously, at least. I can’t answer student emails. I can’t text Richard. I can’t look at cat videos to de-stress.

All I can do is laugh.

So I type this on my home computer (which is itself broken in that it doesn’t have any USB ports working) which I might bring to school while waiting for my work computer to get fixed. I can’t hook it up to the projector without USB ports, so I’ll have to wing it again today. 

Good thing I have a sense of humor.

Writing prompts and Storytelling Circle

I started a tradition among a group of friends when I was a graduate student in college called Storytelling Circle. We didn’t do it more than a half-dozen times, but the process created not only interesting stories (if a bit disjointed at times). but profound insights. I tried to write down one of the stories from memory, but the magic of the story was in the telling, and it didn’t seem as mystical as it did in the darkened chapel of Channing-Murray as the six of us sprawled on the floor in a circle facing each other.

I put the idea of the storytelling circle in a book, Apocalypse — 

AAAGH! I can’t find my copy of Apocalypse!
Richard, thank goodness, says he has a copy of it. Let’s try this again …
(Half an hour of stubborn technology later — )

*******

That evening, after dinner, the residents set up a large semi-circle three rows deep facing the risers. David Beaumont sat in the facing seat, Allan’s walking stick in his hand. 

“The rules of a storytelling circle are as follows. First of all, it’s not necessary to follow someone else’s story; you tell the story that’s within you. Second: When you feel you’re done with your section of the story, hand someone else the stick. Or if someone feels moved to speak, go up there and ask for the stick. Third: If someone hands you the story stick, you can either take it or pass it on. If you really don’t want the stick at all, you should probably sit outside the semicircle. 

“I’ll start the story, as I’m in the hot seat.” Mr. Beaumont made a show of settling himself into the seat, then looked at those assembled. Most of the collective had attended. “Once upon a time, as people say, there was a woman, an average woman. She was neither beautiful nor homely, not tall nor short, not fat nor thin. She was, in all ways, ordinary, or so she said — Jeanne Marie Beaumont, you sit down right now!” David Beaumont chuckled and chided his daughter, who waggled a finger at her father, then sat down.

“Anyhow, before I was rudely interrupted by my impudent daughter … ” Mr. Beaumont, with his excellent timing, waited through the group’s laughter. “This ordinary woman had only one thing special about her — she could cook. She could cook fabulously. She could have been the chef at any fancy restaurant in Chicago, or even New York City.” 

“Woo hoo, Mary!” hooted the kitchen crew to their leader. Mary ducked and smiled.

“Our cook, let’s call her Sheila, thought this wasn’t a very handy skill if one wanted to, say, change the world. And she wanted to change the world. Or at least her little corner of it. Because — “

David Beaumont stood up slowly, then stepped off the riser and walked around and around the semicircle a few times. He handed the stick to Larry Lindenwood, and sat in Larry’s seat after Larry vacated it. Dr. Lindenwood stepped up the riser and settled himself.

“Everyone, deep down, wants to change the world. It’s the nature of man. Everyone wants to remake the world in their own image. That image might be fascist or capitalist or communitarian, green or materialistic. In Sheila’s case, however, she wanted to — “ Dr. Lindenwood stood up and reached over to give the stick to Celestine Eisner, who stepped up to the chair in her dancing gait.

“Sheila wanted to make the world beautiful. She put a lot of time into thinking about what a beautiful world would look like. After all, some people think steel skyscrapers are beautiful while others think forests are beautiful, and some people think that Picasso’s beagle in Chicago is beautiful even though some people think it’s a rusty piece of scrap metal. So what did it mean to have a beautiful world? After much thinking and thinking and thinking, she decided — “ Celestine skipped over to give the stick to Micah Infofer, the nine-year-old son of Sarah and Brock. Micah ran up to the stage and plumped himself down in the folding chair.

“Sheila decided that beautiful meant color! Why did barns have to be red when they could be purple? Why weren’t there any red-and-white striped houses? Shouldn’t trees have colored streamers hanging from them? She was really getting into this, and then she thought — “ Micah ran back to his mother and handed her the stick.

Sarah Inhofer strolled to the chair, stick in hand, and sat down. “Sheila, as we’ve said before, was a cook. She didn’t know how to paint a house purple or put colored streamers in trees, even though she could see in her mind what they looked like. She could, however, make incredibly pretty cookies. She could make cookies that looked just like flowers, or bunnies, or all sorts of amazing things. So that is what she did. Violet bunnies and blue roses and polka-dotted cats and plaid tulips and … all sorts of amazingly pretty things. She sold them at a lemonade stand to try to make money toward making the world even prettier. One day …” Sarah abruptly stood up and walked toward Larry Rogers.

“Aw, no, lady,” Larry groaned as she approached him.

“You don’t want to play?” Sarah put her hands on her hips.

“Well, okay.” Larry Rogers took the stick and clomped up to the chair. “One day, there was this guy, let’s call him Steve — “

“Larry?” Stephan Olasz glared at Larry. “Be careful what you say.”

“Sure, buddy,” Larry grinned ferally. “No problem. Steve stopped by the lemonade stand and looked at Sheila’s pretty cookies. ‘Hey, those are really pretty cookies, ma’am,’ Steve said. ‘I think I’ve got some sheep that would go good with those cookies.’ 

“’Mutton and cookies?’ Sheila asked. ‘Eww.’” Much of the room agreed vocally with Sheila’s assessment.

“’Naw, Sheila, I’ve got rainbow sheep. They’d look great in the same corner of the world as your cookies.’

“’Ohh,’ Sheila responded. ‘We need more things in the world than cookies and sheep. We need purple barns and red and white striped houses and trees with streamers tied to them.’”

“’I got some friends,” Steve said.

“’Really? You have friends?’ Sheila marveled.” Stephen stood up and glared at Larry again. ”I guess it’s my time to hand off the stick — “ Larry ambled down and handed the stick to Ty Gordon. Ty unfolded his lanky limbs and sauntered up to the chair, then chuckled as he sat down.

“Well,” Ty began, then paused. For a long time. When the laughter subsided, Ty began again. “Everyone knows you can’t save the world with two people. Or perhaps you can, because Sheila’s lemonade stand brought together quite a few people. Builders who built purple barns and striped houses, people who tied streamers in trees, and even farmers who raised violet bunnies. The polka-dotted cats moved in on their own volition, because cats do that. Enough people who did enough different things that they could make their corner of the world colorful. And so they did — “ Ty leapt out of t
he chair and handed the stick to Luke Dunstan, who peered curiously at it, then stepped ceremoniously up to the chair and sat down.

“However,” Luke said ominously, “some people are jealous of those blessed by creativity. One such person was a man named — hmm … “ Luke paused, because Archetypes struggled to create.

“There’s already a Steve, so —“ He stood up, and strode over to Adam, who took the stick with a fey grin and glided up to the chair.

“There was a man called Zhengfu,” Adam began as Allan commented, “Did you look that up in the Chinese dictionary?” Adam looked down his nose at Allan, then smiled and winked at him, the smile transforming his Asian features into something quite lovely. “Zhengfu felt threatened by anything he could not understand, and he could not understand this town — for it had grown into a town — that had exploded in a riot of color and music — yes, they held impromptu accordion concerts on festoon-strewn street corners and classical concerts in the park under the trees. Even the cats held concerts, and avant-garde aficionados attended their concerts. But Zhengfu thought to himself — “ Adam grinned at everyone, and then swiftly delivered the stick to Allan. “Your turn, sweetheart,” he whispered loud enough for everyone to hear.

Allan sauntered up to the chair, sat down, and paused for a moment. “I must stop Christmas from coming! But how?” Much of the room howled with laughter, although most of the Archetypes and Nephilim seemed puzzled at this. Adam and Lilith laughed loudest, because they had been on the run Earthside for millennia and had caught on to popular culture catchphrases.

“I’ll explain it to you later,” Lilith reassured her father, Luke.

p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-indent: 30.1px; font: 12.0px ‘Courier New’} p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; text-indent: 30.1px; font: 12.0px ‘Courier New’; color: #232323} span.s1 {color: #000000}

Just as Allan handed the stick to Alan Sutton, Eric stood up. “I don’t want to alarm anyone,” he said in his dry basso voice, “but I just saw about five people with guns approach the gate.”