In the Middle of Writing

Sorry I haven’t written! I am still caught up (and barely caught up) on NaNoWriMo, with 14,000 words left to write.

I finished editing Avatar of the Maker and, having nothing better to do, started a new novel in the Archetype series, Carrying Light.


Sage Bertinelli has been summoned by her Aunt Jeanne back to Barn Swallows’ Dance. When Sage arrives, she finds the collective, Tree-gifted and weary, debating how they will answer the twilight of the life they have known.

Forrest Gray, half-immortal, wants Sage to shelter in the safety of the collective. She, on the other hand, wants to go out into the changed world — and away from her turmoil. The two must look within and without to find the answers.


I didn’t think I would write another book so quickly after Avatar of the Maker, but NaNo calls.

I’m Done!

Ok, that was random. I’m done writing Avatar of the Maker, at least the first draft.

It needs a lot of work, enough that I don’t know where to start. At the beginning, I suppose. I think I need to make lots of notes on it and I don’t know whether to make these on paper or on electronic sticky notes. Or both; some of these notes are on the overall body of the book and others are specific. Writing a novel is hard; editing is harder.

I think I can describe the novel in one sentence: One death in this battle could kill millions.

In a paragraph: Leah Inhofer sees visions of a battle held in a dim place. Her best friend, Baird, draws her from her sheltered upbringing by his very existence as a Nephilim. They meet with Luke, a near-immortal Archetype who reels from the loss of the human patterns he carried. The battle Leah sees will happen, a battle of Archetypes. One death in this battle could kill millions of humans. Leah knows that she must act to stop the battle, at the risk of her life. She carries the responsibility as the Avatar of the Maker, who has the power to change the flow of reality.

My mind is already working on the book cover. That’s a long way from now.

Two Personal Goals

What was the hardest personal goal you’ve set for yourself?

The prompt above leads me to two different answers. What was the hardest personal goal I’ve set to myself?

The first: In 2000, I participated in the Susan G. Komen 3-Day Walk. To do this, I first had to raise $1000 for the organization. For the walk itself, I had to walk 20 miles a day for three days. This meant I had to train for the event by walking further every day. I started at two hours a day to a two day 13/14 mile event.

I survived the walk with a few blisters and a lifetime experience. The fundraising was the hard part, with a chunk of the money provided by Walter Cronkite. Yes, the most trusted man in America Walter Cronkite. (Anyone younger than boomers should look him up). No, I didn’t know him. But a friend of a relative of his called in a favor. Sometimes, I guess, the stars align.


The second: I wrote my first novel. I’ve been writing since third grade, when a teacher (who didn’t realize she was teaching 3rd-graders a high school curriculum) taught poetry. I remember doing well in haiku, struggling a bit with diamanté, and being totally overwhelmed with sonnets. I wrote my first published poem that year, if the classroom’s front door was a publication. I went on to write descriptions, short stories, a short play, more short stories … But never a novel. I thought I had irredeemable problems with plotting a long story.

Many many years after that, my husband is responsible for my writing my first novel. I was writing several stories around the same characters. I was almost obsessed with them. Richard said to me, “If you’re going to keep writing short stories, you might as well write a novel.” My instant response was “I can’t write a novel. I have irredeemable problems with plotting a long story (or something like that).

I started writing, and admittedly I did have problems with plotting at first. My novel read like a bunch of short stories at first, and I rewrote it three times until I came up with a result I liked. My other novels didn’t have the same fault as I learned the narrative shape of a novel. The first novel (not the first published) was Gaia’s Hands, which has been published on Kindle.


For honorable mention, I should mention learning how to drive. I didn’t learn to drive till I was 32. The first time I took drivers’ ed in high school I failed for stopping the car in the middle of the railroad tracks to check for trains. (It’s not incomprehensible if you take into account I have a learning problem with spatial and sequential relationships.) The second time, I barely passed but didn’t feel comfortable enough to drive. I learned for real at 32 with the most talented drivers’ ed teacher there ever was. There is talent involved in teaching people to drive. There’s patience, there’s talking someone out of quitting, and there’s the ability to explain things in a way that someone who processes things differently will understand.


I appreciate the goals I’ve struggled with more deeply than the ones that came easy to me. They built more of my character. They became the accomplishments I judged myself by. It’s strange, because I have a PhD and I don’t weigh that among my greatest accomplishments. My greatest accomplishments have been the hardest.

Interrogating Forrest Gray

When I have a new character for a future writing (in this case a short story), I feel compelled to have a conversation with them. To interrogate them, as it were.

I walk into the cafe, looking around for the young man I’ll meet for coffee. One of the great things about being a writer at age 60 is that you can have imaginary coffee with good looking young men.

My coffee date sits in the back corner. Not tall, and not big, he leans back in the chair reading a book. His black hair falls just past his shoulders.

He looks up and smiles as if it’s a habit of his. I know his father and his mother; it tracks. Deep brown eyes and a short nose, an oval face, the face of the Siberian aboriginals, the face of the Bering Strait Archetype’s Nephilim son.

“I was wondering when you would catch up with me.” Forrest put down the book, which I noted was on natural dyeing techniques. I had heard Forrest had apprenticed himself to Elaine and her fiber arts at the collective.

“Elaine has just forgiven me for how much fermenting Chinese indigo smells.” Forrest raises his eyebrows; he has his father’s charm and his mother’s gift with words. “Luckily, I’m not dyeing at her space; Janice found a spare corner of her barn space she’s letting me use.”

“Aasha hasn’t needed you at the infirmary lately, has she?” Forrest’s talent was the knitting of bones, of skin, and oddly the knitting of wool.

“No, but Baird had a kid — a baby goat — who had broken his toe. We fixed that up for him. Cute little kid. I’ll be honest, I don’t like using my gift, but it’s better that we have it for emergencies.”

“I’m curious,” I said. “Are you planning on staying at Barn Swallows’ Dance?”

He brushed back his hair. “I think so. I couldn’t use my talents outside, you know. I don’t know what an ordinary doctor would make of me, although I’m told we are within tolerances of human. And my mother’s here, still trying to figure out how I grew up so quickly.”

“You were born grown-up!” I grimaced at him.

“She knows that, of course. She knows she didn’t sign up for an ordinary family.”

“Does your dad still visit?” I asked cautiously.

“All the time. He’s become fascinated with Barn Swallows’ Dance, particularly in the dinner menu. And he still courts my mother, who considers him ‘not bad for a man’.” Forrest laughed. “I think they’re quite the couple despite that.”

“What do you do at the collective when you’re not fixing bones?”

“A little of everything. I’m on sheep-shearing duty, and I’m trying to figure out the alpacas. I work with Jeanne, particularly in grafting trees; we’re working on better apricots in the food forest right now. I’m trying to take over the coffee roasting from Jeanne, but she caught onto that pretty quick.”

I ask my last question, wondering how Forrest will answer. “What are you looking for?”

“I don’t know. I am looking for something, or maybe something is looking for me. My father was never a mystic; an Archetype’s relationship with the Maker is rather prosaic. My mother, on the other hand, believes in things. Probably because she’s from Barn Swallows’ Dance. I’m just waiting, though, for it to show its face.”

A Bit of Writer’s Block

I need to go back to writing on Avatar of the Maker, as I have only written about 2000 words in the past week. I could get it written in a month if I could get 1000 words a day. The problem is that I’m not eager anymore because of the remaining part being before the big ending and after Leah’s pregnancy revelation.

What would it take to get more eager? I need to talk to Baird. Baird is one of the male protagonists (this is not a love triangle!) He’s half-human, half immortal Archetype, and he’s in love with Leah. He’s a deliberate person, and could be accused of being slow by someone who didn’t know better. He’s a marshmallow in romance parlance.

I need to find his orneriness. I need to find his edge. I need to see him be worthy opposition to headstrong Leah. This part is murky and I don’t know where to go. How frustrating.

Photo by Noel McShane on Pexels.com

A Book Fair and Imposter Syndrome

I am selling my wares at a book sale at the end of the month. I have only done one book fair before, a couple of years ago. That book fair was in my small home town’s library, and this next one will be down the road in St. Joe, three times larger.

I think I know what I’m doing. I have books: Gaia’s Hands, The Kringle Conspiracy, Kringle in the Night, It Takes Two to Kringle, and Kringle on Fire. I have business cards (I think). I have handouts featuring all my books, including Apocalypse (coming soon!) I have giveaways (squishy apples) and a “vertical” (a visual element; mine is a driftwood tree branch with hanging apples).

I still feel way out of my league.

I feel like a newb, even though I have been writing and selling books for years. (Writing a lot more than selling, to be honest.) I don’t feel like a grownup when I promote myself. I don’t feel like a professional when I promote myself. I feel like an imposter!

I have to remind myself: I’ve earned money doing this. Therefore I’m a professional. Therefore what I do is professional.

I’ll keep telling myself that …

A Very Good Weekend

My birthday weekend (when you turn 60 you get a whole weekend) has turned out to be — I’m having trouble finding the exact word. “Special” has an implication of something engineered to be perfect for one’s birthday. This was more like serendipity in action.

We arrived in Kansas City Friday night after eating dinner in St. Joseph up the road, and we arrived at the 21c Hotel, one of my favorite spots. It’s an artsy hotel, which appeals to my writer self, and part of the reason I do Kansas City trips is inspiration.

On Saturday, we started the day with breakfast at City Diner, which is truly a diner:

It has the settled-in look of a real diner, with hot sauce for your eggs and a menu of breakfast and burgers and fries.

From there, we spent some time at Broadway Cafe, so I could write and figure out a printing problem with a brochure I want to hand out for the book fair at the end of September. Broadway Cafe is a space for writing, and their coffee is perfect. I drank a depth charge (coffee with a shot of espresso) for the first time, and it was stout!

My husband and I were going to see Spirited Away at 3 at the Screenland Armour, so when we were done with coffee and writing, we noted that we would not have enough time to get lunch at Choga (way over in Overland Park when we were in mid-KC) so I suggested Blue Nile, an Ethiopian restaurant. Not only did that time out perfectly, it got us close to our destination of North KC for the movie. It was also tasty food.

Spirited Away is a classic Miyazaki film, artistic and fanciful. It’s a children’s movie, which hasn’t stopped any adults from watching it. I’m a Miyazaki fan, so it was a good choice for my birthday weekend.

After that, we went to pick up my birthday present, which was an orange Sailor 1911 fountain pen which we got at discount barely used. I collect fountain pens, so I was happy with the present and happier with the price.

We were too full from lunch to eat a full dinner at Waldo Thai, so we decided to have appetizer and dessert at the Savoy, a restaurant in the 21c. Oh, my goodness! Imaginative and tasty food! They treated me special for my birthday and put us in the private, round room. They also discounted us our desserts.

Today we’re winding down and sitting at Broadway Cafe again while I write this. A lesson learned — go with the flow, as the results are better that way.

I couldn’t wait much longer —

Here is the cover for my book Apocalypse which is coming out on Kindle January 1st:

It’s the whole book cover, because I wanted you to see what it looks like before it becomes a book.

My niece Rachel Bond made the artwork, and my contribution turned that into the book cover using Photoshop. I like how her picture looks comforting and eerie as if she had read the book (which she hasn’t). It’s almost like she reads my mind.

I want to use a few short stories to get people to read my book. For Kindle or print versions, I need to create a front and back cover just like I did here.

Overall I’m proud of this work. It motivates me to write further.

Summer ends here

The week has gotten away from me, but at least I have been busy while I’ve been gone:

  • I’ve finished out my summer internship class
  • I’ve finished up laying my fall courses (except one, which is largely out of my control)
  • I’ve re-edited Reclaiming the Balance in case I get the courage to publish it
  • I’ve started editing a reader magnet of short stories in the Archetype universe
  • I’ve been working with my niece Rachel (a talented artist) to design the cover for Apocalypse, and a rework of Gaia’s Hands. The cover for Apocalypse is so good it makes me happy cry.

And there’s one more day until the beginning of semester meetings. Summer is over, and it was one of the most productive summers I’ve had in a while.

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

I have never been so tired.

I am at New York Hope, a disaster preparedness exercise. After two nights of ten-hour car rides, five hours of sleep a night, and an early morning wake-up call to turn some role-players into victims, I have another day and two nights left for the exercise.

I have never been this tired in my whole life.

Honestly, if I close my eyes I fall asleep at the table. I am contemplating sleeping in a lounge. I keep misplacing my color palate (for giving people bruises and sprains). I don’t know if I can do this, and I have another day of doing this.

I’m going to continue doing this because it’s what I’m here to do, and I am surrounded by sleep-deprived people doing the same thing. Our purpose is to train emerging professionals in disaster and emergency management to deal with situations they’ll face when in the field. This includes search and rescue, triage, evacuation, the news media, and displaced persons.

There will be time to sleep, right?