Busy/Not Busy

New responsibilities at work

I’ve been moving into a period of more responsibilities at work, probably because I’m seeming more stable lately. I don’t mind, but I have to make sure I don’t a) procrastinate; b) overwork myself.

Balance

Work is a balancing game for me because of my bipolar disorder and because of my writing. I have office work to do today. And a meeting with a therapist. And part of my outline for It Takes Two to Kringle. Luckily I’m working at home today and I can get the work stuff done before I do personal stuff in the late afternoon.

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The work unnerves me when I look at it all in one piece. Which, I guess, is a good reason not to look at it all at once.

Time for rest

I have to work on this one. I get plenty of sleep (this is necessary with bipolar) but I don’t always feel rested. I think a lot of this is psychological — when I’m faced with a pile of work, I fret about whether I’ll get it done, and that makes me tired.

I need to work on resting my mind, which comes from things like meditation, time management that includes free time, and sleep without dwelling on things. Empty mind, in other words.

Time to quit writing and do something

Yeah.

Staring It In the Face

Writers’ angst

I am not as popular as I thought I would be as a writer. Which means that my rank under Amazon’s system is close to the bottom. I don’t know if anyone has read my latest, Kringle in the Night, although I will also in my defense say it’s only been live for a week.

Promotion woes

I don’t know how to promote. I mean, I do, but not in a way where people actually pay attention. Every day? I can’t do that; my conscience won’t subject people to that. Every few days? I think I can do that, and it’s about time for me to do that. In the newsletter? I’ve got to write that today, don’t I?

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Writing and my future

I’m torn between quitting writing, writing for myself, and doing this same path with writing and promotion. I think if I get some positive outcomes I can certainly continue with the latter, but I need some good words to continue. Sorry for the bummer, but this is where I am at the moment.

Send good words and thoughts here!

A Writing Day (Hopefully)

I have a project to do today

I will once again be doing NaNoWriMo in November this year, and I will once again be writing one of my Christmas romances (working title: It Takes Two to Kringle). Today, though, I need to work on outlining the book so I have guidelines on what to write come November. The first book (The Kringle Conspiracy) I wrote without an outline, a process known by writers as “pantsing”. I loosely outlined the second book (Kringle in the Night), otherwise known as “plantsing”. I feel like the second book is tighter than the first, thus I will be outlining the new novel as well.

But first, motivate

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I have been off writing for a little while because life got busy, and now I need to get back to it before NaNo or else I won’t write next Christmas season’s book. But I’m so undermotivated! I don’t know what to do to motivate — I could go out to the cafe, but I don’t know if I feel like it. I could play music on the stereo.

Honestly, though, what’s really stalling me out is feeling overwhelmed by the project at a time where I don’t have much energy.

Breaking the Impasse

If the task of writing an entire outline for a book today is too much, I can break the task down over a couple of days (perhaps five chapters a day) and promise myself a break at the end of those chapters. That way I don’t feel stressed and thus defeated by the task of outlining.

And if I really get into it, maybe I get it all done in one day!

So what are you procrastinating on lately? Let me know in the comments!

I’m Back!

A long hiatus

I’ve taken a hiatus from writing, especially writing this blog, because I have truly been burned out. I’m hoping to get back into the habit before I find myself no longer in the space to write.

What’s been going on.

Not much has been going on — I’ve given and graded midterms, done casualty simulation (moulage) for a major disaster exercise, troweling fake blood on volunteers. I’ve been tired at night and cozy in the early mornings.

I’ve published Kringle in the Night as of a week ago, and I think you should be reading it. A bit of romance, a bit of suspense, and Santa Claus. What more can you ask for? You can find it here.

This is the cover, for anyone who has forgotten:

I should mention I designed the cover to this and to my previous novel, The Kringle Conspiracy, myself.

What to expect from this space in the future

You can expect pretty much the same meanderings as have always been — tomorrow I suspect I will be trying to evoke feelings about fall (available now in the Northern Hemisphere; waiting for six months in the Southern Hemisphere). And I will try to write every day.

See you soon!

Lauren

Fighting Burnout

You haven’t heard from me in a while

I apologize. I’ve been neglecting my writing. Not just the blog, but the books, etc. I’ve been busy with work. I’ve been tired. I’ve had so many little things to arrange.

Or I’m just burned out. The ideas are not flowing. I’ve been devoid of good ideas. I’ve been discouraged by how little my books have been read compared to other people’s work. I’ve been frazzled by how much of my life has become promotion of books. I’m irked at how many writers look down on self-published authors like myself. Like there’s a pinnacle to reach and I will never read it.

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I’ve lost the joy of writing

I’ve been actively avoiding writing lately. I avoid my current work in progress rather than staring at it. I avoid this blog.

I need to find the joy of writing again. I am thinking of changing gears and working on the next Kringle book, which needs to be plotted by November 1st. I need something to perk me up, to remind me that I’m a writer.

I have been here before; I will be here again. I just need to find the way out.

I haven’t been on here lately.

I’ve been lost in my thoughts. I have been postponing writing my book. I have been getting Kringle in the Night and Gaia’s Hands ready. I have been wrestling with my heart. I’ve been trying to figure out my male protagonist in Walk Through Green Fire. I have run away from writing.

Today I’m on, but it’s my day off for getting my other cataract out. The surgery has just been done, and I’m seeing somewhat better. I hope the vision gets much better much soon, or I will still have to wear glasses.

Falling in love with characters

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This is what I need to do with my characters in Walking Through Green Fire. Dane Prince — otherwise known as Prince Dane — is fae, minor royalty and a somewhat unusual member of his race. He has wearied of intrigue in Faerie, suspecting its has substituted for meaning now that the human world no longer believes in Faerie. He wants to find one who believes in Faerie; moreover he wants to leave Faerie.

He’s probably the perfect male for Nina the librarian — a bit fey (of course), introverted, mischievous, remaining honest while indulging in double-speak. Don’t think of Nina as his green card marriage, although there is a sense of that. Oh, and he’s pretty hot, which Nina is not expecting. He scares her a bit with his intensity.

Maybe it would help if I wrote a sex scene first?

One thing at a time

A good thought, but I can’t think of what to start first. Maybe I should just concentrate on getting my vision better. Hmm…

Excerpt from my work in progress

After work, I strode down the hill on the curved path which led from campus to the street that I called home. The trees on either side of the path cast cooling shade. I felt the air — slightly damp, perfect on my skin —


I filled up on the sights and sounds of June in my small town, a place built in a valley and up the hills that surrounded it. I lived at the bottom of a hill in a Victorian one-story cottage, whitewashed, with delicate gingerbread edging the roof. Surrounded by Victorian and Italianate houses, it stood out, not the least because it was surrounded by a riotous cottage garden I carefully tended myself. An idyllic setting in an idyllic town, a Sleepy Hollow in reality.


I reached my house and walked through the driveway to the back door and unlocked the door to be greeted by my long-haired ginger cat, Montrose. He stropped my ankles, then stood on his hind legs and waved his fluffy front paws in the air. I didn’t blame him for wanting to be fed; I myself was hungry as it was 5:30 PM. I opened a can of his favorite cat food, dumping it into the bowl. He pranced around the bowl, then tucked into it while I replaced his water with fresh.


My life followed the patterns of my days and weeks, the cycles of the year. Early mornings with Montrose and breakfast, followed by a day at work at the library as a cataloger, then an evening watching reading while NPR was playing on the stereo, and hearing the students walk down the hill toward the bars and back again when the weekend arrived. Sometimes I could hear them singing Top 40 tunes at the tops of their lungs as they made their way past my house. It didn’t bother me; it was just another sound like the spring frogs and late summer cicadas and the sound of snow plows in the winter.


In the summer, I spent as much of my time out in my yard as I could. I have built myself a refuge in my yard, and maybe that is odd. My yard, an old English garden which I researched before developing it, surrounds me with a riot of flowers. It takes a lot of tending the garden not to have it revert to grass and weeds. It surrounds my house like a gaily colored blanket, and the birds and butterflies visit it in riotous numbers.


It was just the sort of afternoon, I decided, to enjoy my backyard. I had a small brick patio just big enough to hold two chairs and a table that looked like they had come from an ice cream parlor. The garden wrapped in a circle around the back of the patio and to the brush line at the edge of my small yard.


A glass of wine, I thought, would be lovely, and I brought a bottle of Reisling and a glass to the table and sat down. I could hear the ever-present birds and my wind chimes, and a car in the distance meandered down my street in no particular hurry. I sipped the wine alone.
And that was the problem, wasn’t it? I thought. Alone.


I took another sip of wine. I would have to get that vintage again, made by one of my favorite wineries in the Finger Lakes. I wished I had some cheese, maybe a wheel of Brie, and some crackers, because the wine left me a little light-headed. What, I asked myself, was the problem with that? I had nothing to do in the evening.


And then I looked across the yard, to where the back of the border created a wall against the treeline. The birds fell silent, as if they held their breath. The afternoon light shone through the trees and illuminated a patch where hollyhocks stood in red and pink and black, and blue catnip and fuzzy rose campion bloomed in front of them.


I saw a flash of alabaster touched with gold, a glimpse of a bare torso, then a shimmer of air.
Then, as I stared, nothing.

Procrastination Again

Things to do

I have things to do today. School work, promoting my upcoming work, finding some ARC readers, doing my newsletter, etc, etc.

I don’t feel like doing a bit of it.

Motivation

I’m just going to do one task at a time, a few minutes at a time. After the work I do for my career, I’ll start with the hardest thing to motivate for, which is the newsletter because it has a lot of fiddly tasks. Then, fueled by more coffee, the tasks I fear because I have to put myself forward, like finding ARC readers next. And then writing.

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But first, coffee.

This looks like a job for coffee

I haven’t had my cup of coffee yet. Maybe I’ll have two just to be sure. If I have three half-caffs, I’ll have a cup and a half worth of real coffee. At any rate, coffee.

I Haven’t Been Writing

Life got in the way

I’m sorry I haven’t written in the past couple days, but life got in the way of my writing. I’ve been enjoying my three-day weekend by seeing The Hu in concert, eating breakfast at Eggtc, and watching Shang-Chi and the Ten Rings. All in all, a good weekend.

The problem is, life is getting too much in the way of any writing. Between going places, teaching, and stocking up for casualty simulation, I get distracted from writing. I get distracted from everything by everything else.

I wonder if I’m going manic again. Probably not because I’m sleeping more than usual, which isn’t manic.

Maybe I’ll start writing to distract myself from something else.

Another PitMad

Every three months

Every three months, I submit my books in what is known as PitMad, hoping to get an agent interested in them. PitMad is a “pitching” event, where authors tweet a blurb on Twitter hoping for agents to “like” it. A like means a request for at least a few chapters.

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I don’t have luck with PitMad. I think it’s because of my writing philosophy. I write for geek girls of all ages who want their fantasies romantic and their romances fantastic. Which doesn’t sit as well as I would like to the common market. Still, I persevere, because at heart I am an optimist. Otherwise, why would I do the same thing over and over again, hoping for different results?

Not a lot of trouble with TweetDeck

It’s not a lot of trouble to do PitMad. You don’t even have to manually submit your blurbs once every three hours or so, as long as you have the website Tweetdeck, which allows you to automate tweets. It’s also free! You write them up ahead of time, program them for the right time of day, and the program takes care of tweeting them at the designated time. You can even do them days in advance (I had mine ready a week ago).

Time to sit and wait.

I have three tweets from each of my three novels that I haven’t self-published (oh, I misspoke. I have another novel that I tend to discount when these events come around.) That pretty much involves me all day. Although in reality, all I will be doing is checking every now and then in the middle of my other work.

Wish me luck!