Over and Over

Daily writing prompt

What book could you read over and over again?

I wish I could say the book I would read (and have read) over and over was a high-brow book, like The Return of the King. I wish it was a staple of fantasy, something that would give me geek cred. But the book is as mass-market as any book selling at the grocery store, and it still captures me every time.

The novel is Origin in Death, by JD Robb. JD Robb (alternative pen name for Nora Roberts) writes futuristic crime novels. She’s written a lot of these, perhaps 40. Reading them is like eating popcorn — tasty, addictive, and a little more nutritious than you might think. Her protagonist is a police lieutenant, Eve Dallas, who runs the murder squad at Cop Central. She’s excellent at what she does, and she’s a bit curmudgeonly. She’s married to one of the richest men on earth, a former jewel thief who goes by the name of Roarke. Roarke, with his larcenous ways, makes a perfect partner in fighting crime.

The specific story, Origin in Death, involves a father-son pair of doctors who are killed within a day of each other. The murder trail leads to a network of underground hospital wards and a conspiracy to supply men with the perfect lover/wife. How the doctors manage this is part of the light science fiction that JD Robb trades in. There are twists to surprise, and a big chase scene at the end that made me wish for a version for the screen.

I read this novel now and again. It’s quick to get through, and I know all the plot twists. But it remains entertaining, and perhaps the best of JD Robb’s In Death series.

Daily writing prompt

If you could be a character from a book or film, who would you be? Why?

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If I could be a character from a book, I would be Mary Russell from The Beekeeper’s Apprentice by Laurie R King. The beekeeper, in this case, is a retired Sherlock Holmes, and Mary becomes his apprentice. She is a renaissance woman — she is a student at Oxford in chemistry and religion, she takes up acting and other escapades, and she helps Mr. Holmes solve crimes, often in disguise. I would love to be the sort of person to attract the attention of Sherlock Holmes.

The best compliment I have ever gotten is from my friend Celia, who told me once that I reminded her of Mary Russell. Wow, how could I live up to that? I wasn’t an adventurer, but I had an encyclopedic knowledge of a lot of disparate things. Not deep, per se, but wide.

I don’t think I could live up to Mary Russell, but I can sure fantasize about being her.

Is cat-petting a job?

Daily writing prompt

What job would you do for free?

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To be honest, there’s probably not a job I would do full-time for free, because I like to be able to afford food. But part-time? I would take care of cats and dogs at the humane society for free. I would pet them and give them lots of pets and hugs.

I would walk the dogs and play with the cats. I’d like to walk the cats, but cats generally don’t go for that sort of thing.

I would do this for free, and have done it (minus the litterboxes — they don’t have guests doing the litterboxes). I had a student who would now and again stop by my office and proclaim, “kitty therapy time!” at 4:00, and we would go to the humane society to play with cats. The humane society welcomes this because it helps socialize their cats.

This is a job I would do for free.

Contractual Obligation

I don’t want to break my writing streak but this morning has been discombobulated. Back to normal tomorrow.

My Relationship Mistakes

Daily writing prompt

What experiences in life helped you grow the most?

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The experiences that helped me grow the most in my life were my relationship mistakes. When I was younger I had what is called in the literature an anxious attachment style. It comes from a childhood with an overwhelmed mother who used threats of abandonment as discipline. So I developed anxious-attached relationships with my boyfriends.

In common language, I was anxious and clingy. I chose people with avoidant attachment styles, which means they did not necessarily want to be in relationships. The males were ambivalent, distant, or otherwise not committed. This made me more anxious and clingy, which made them more noncommittal and distant, and … it was a total mess.

It took me a long while to break this cycle. One of the best things I did was spend many years outside of a relationship, to the point where I didn’t need a relationship anymore. And when I no longer needed one, I took the risk that found me the right one.

Daily writing prompt

How would you improve your community?

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In a workshop I participated in, my town was described as two towns united by a football team, This is most certainly true, even today. One town can be described as the college campus with its more liberal professors and staff, and the other is full of what are called ‘townies’ elsewhere. The football team is the six-time Division II national champion Bearcats.

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Maryville is a town with a streak of hatred. In the Thirties, we had a lynching. In 2013, a fourteen-year-old’s rape was blamed on her. Confederate flags occasionally fly, and black students report getting harassed in town businesses. This is not happening from the University side. I don’t want this to happen here.

It’s hard for me to live in Maryville because of this, but as this is where I work, I stay here. I would like to live in a bigger town with a kinder presence. I am not sure anything like this exists in the US; we are a mean country.

If I could, I would make Maryville nicer.

Skipping to Another Chapter

One thing you can do when writing a book is to skip to another chapter when you’re stuck on the one you’re currently writing. This is done so you can continue to write the book rather than bog down into writer’s block. I’m doing this right now, because I feel my first three chapters (or maybe just the latest chapter) are writing the same thing over and over. Not much action, too much expository.

Wouldn’t it be nice if real life were that way? If you could just skip over a day gone wrong and go to the next activity? If you could slide past the boring parts and get to the more interesting ones? I could skip a work week and make it to the weekend early.

It doesn’t work that way. The work still needs to be done. The boring parts are necessary to enjoy the good parts. Life is supposed to flow rather than happen in fits and starts. We can’t skip any of it — not the aggravation nor the grief. No skipping chapters in real life.

My Morning

Daily writing prompt

What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?

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My morning starts with waking up at five AM, usually before the alarm rings. I sit in bed and read till twenty after, and then get upright, do my bathroom activities, and get dressed. Richard gets up at about the same time, although more reluctantly.

We wander downstairs and Richard makes breakfast, which is cereal, milk, and bananas. I then move to the loveseat, where my computer is, and I write this blog over coffee. When I’m done with writing and coffee, I go down to the basement and tend to the seedlings. Then I come back up and check the internet and talk until 7:30, at which point I ride with Richard to work, where he drops me off before he goes to work.

On Wednesdays and Fridays I work from home, so no going to work on that day. On weekends, we play music over coffee. Today it’s baroque, but often it’s modern classical and classical-adjacent.

So those are my morning rituals. I never thought about them as rituals, but they don’t change much. This morning I didn’t get up until seven, and I feel like everything is thrown off. Off to water the seedlings…

No Monuments

Daily writing prompt

If you could have something named after you, what would it be?

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I have never, in my fantasies, wanted anything named after me. If I were rich, I’d donate money for a building to be named after someone else who actually accomplished something other than accumulating money. My favorite revenge fantasy was to name a building after a colleague who greatly disliked me, so she would have to take the honor remembering where it came from. But, alas, I haven’t come up with any money.

Daily writing prompt

What’s something most people don’t understand?

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Most people don’t understand mental illness. They believe that mental illnesses are either no big deal or horrific. And they’d be right … and wrong.

Mental illness is no big deal when it’s under control. There are lifestyle changes — for example, I can no longer stay up late with my bipolar (II) disorder. I have to have a set sleep schedule every night and sleep for about 9 hours a night. This is necessary not only to help monitor changes in sleep (which could be mood swings) but to keep from creating mood swings. I also monitor my energy levels for the same reason, and I don’t push myself beyond my limits.

I would not say my mental illness is horrific, but the potential consequences of mood swings are great. So far, hypomania has yielded some tension in relationships, incomplete projects, and somewhat risky behavior. My examples of the latter are going fishing in a deserted park at 2 AM and getting in the car with a drunk driver. It could be so much worse. Depression on the other hand is not only unpleasant, but can lead to suicide.

My bipolar is a lifetime thing controlled by medication and taking care of myself. I have not had either a depressive or hypomanic state for many years, so it’s mostly maintaining medication and good health practices. I regularly talk to my psychiatrist to monitor my moods and meds. I can live with my disorder; it’s neither trivial nor horrible.