The week has gotten away from me, but at least I have been busy while I’ve been gone:
I’ve finished out my summer internship class
I’ve finished up laying my fall courses (except one, which is largely out of my control)
I’ve re-edited Reclaiming the Balance in case I get the courage to publish it
I’ve started editing a reader magnet of short stories in the Archetype universe
I’ve been working with my niece Rachel (a talented artist) to design the cover for Apocalypse, and a rework of Gaia’s Hands. The cover for Apocalypse is so good it makes me happy cry.
And there’s one more day until the beginning of semester meetings. Summer is over, and it was one of the most productive summers I’ve had in a while.
I am at New York Hope, a disaster preparedness exercise. After two nights of ten-hour car rides, five hours of sleep a night, and an early morning wake-up call to turn some role-players into victims, I have another day and two nights left for the exercise.
I have never been this tired in my whole life.
Honestly, if I close my eyes I fall asleep at the table. I am contemplating sleeping in a lounge. I keep misplacing my color palate (for giving people bruises and sprains). I don’t know if I can do this, and I have another day of doing this.
I’m going to continue doing this because it’s what I’m here to do, and I am surrounded by sleep-deprived people doing the same thing. Our purpose is to train emerging professionals in disaster and emergency management to deal with situations they’ll face when in the field. This includes search and rescue, triage, evacuation, the news media, and displaced persons.
My book Apocalypse is in the hands of beta readers, and I’m going to have to find a couple more readers. But GAAAAAAAAAAH! I don’t know if I can do it.
I’ve published before, so I didn’t think I would have this reaction. But no, here it is, a panic. I tend to flee with panic.
But yesterday I did something that should lock me out of running away — I celebrated my publication early. My husband and I go out to the local Greek place and the celebrating person gets to eat whatever they want. In my celebrations, I prefer rack of lamb. So I ate lamb last night in celebration of future success. This means I have to deliver come December.
I hope I can keep the excitement going; I think I’m going to need it.
Hello! I apologize for not being around lately; I got possessed for a long couple of weeks of editing two WIP: Apocalypse (shooting for Jan. 1 publication) and Reclaiming the Balance (someday).
I hope they’re edited enough. I took a week for each, and my eyes are hurting. I’m falling asleep in the middle of editing. I have been doing little else. Project obsessions are fun, aren’t they?
I just fell asleep again. Stick a fork in me, I’m done.
I’m done editing Apocalypse (and editing, and editing). I’m ready to send it to the beta readers. My niece will make the cover (I told her it was due in October, so she has a while). It’s been an intense few days. Now I don’t want to let it out in the wild!
I know Apocalypse will not be among the outstanding books of this era. It’s a small book, and in fact it’s closer to romantic fantasy without the sex. I’m not a prude; I just don’t get why these foul-mouthed leches actually get the woman. But I digress — the book is small, and the topic is heavy. There’s an equivocal happy ending.
The force that will kill humanity visit the ecocollective Barn Swallows Dance. All it will take is to behead Lilith. The pacifist collective wages peace. The outcome of the conflict will change Barn Swallows’ Dance forever.
Lauren Leach-Steffens, Apocalypse
I’m scared it will not get any sales, that it will get low ratings on Amazon. I’m just scared, as I am every time I get to this point. And the thing that scares me most is the elation I get at this stage of the process.
OMG! It’s a good story! I love the plot! I love my characters! I’m going live January 1st! I need beta readers! This might be the one! Should I have a book drop party?
It’s like hors d’oeuvres size bipolar! (Note: I have bipolar disorder, and this feels like a micro-wave version. I’m on meds. I’ll monitor it.)
Obviously, where I need to be is the middle ground, where I look forward to publishing while not getting too giddy. But being giddy is fun! (Until I get grouchy.)
I can fall asleep sitting up in the middle of a task that I seriously want to do. Yes, it’s true. I did so this morning while editing Apocalypse. It was seriously motivating work!
How the heck can I do this after 8 hours of sleep?
Maybe because I’m getting older. And while I can do it in the summer, I will take afternoon naps. I could not do it for most of the summer because of internships, so it may be time to do it now.
There’s nothing that motivates me as much as charging toward a Big Audacious Goal — except if that BAG is a publishing goal, and then I’m even more motivated. I’ve been spending three and a half hours a day for the last 3 days editing Apocalypse. I’m halfway through the book and all the way through my Camp NaNoWriMo goal. Just in time for the Fourth of July.
There’s nothing that threatens to tear me down as much as charging toward a Big Audacious Goal. A constant barrage of negative self-talk pummels me with all the reasons I should stop:
Your writing isn’t that good.
Nobody wants to read your writing.
Nobody cares about your writing.
Your work is too shallow.
It’s romantic fantasy — are you kidding?
It’s a quandry. Everything to do with publishing brings me out of whatever doldrums I’m in. It’s the payoff from writing and editing and re-editing and re-editing. But those questions. Is it worth making myself vulnerable to negative self-talk which may, in fact, be true?
I think it’s time to meditate. Or take a nap. Or something.
I’ve finally gotten over my indecision and decided!
The summary: Godlike beings and the ecocollective Barn Swallows’ Dance clash, humanity in the balance. How will the pacifists in residence meet the threat to all they know?
My niece is once again creating the cover; I have a design in mind. In fact, that’s what persuaded me to publish in January; I knew what I wanted on the cover. Until then, publishing was just an idea.
This book has seen several versions, a lot of editing, and some belief in myself to make it to a viable book.
Wish me luck! Better yet, read it!
There will not be any Kringle romances for the foreseeable future; I love the Archetype books (there are more) better. If I had a following that said “OMG I NEED KRINGLE BOOKS” I might change my mind. So both of you out there need to make some noise 🙂
Words Like Me 