The Death of Midwestern Female Syndrome

My students tell me that Midwestern Female Syndrome doesn’t exist anymore. Or, rather, they looked at me cockeyed when I explained it. So today’s women don’t feel a need to hide their accomplishments, or fear being honest on a job application because it’s ‘bragging’. As one student put it, “Damn right I’m proud of my good grades!”

Final exam marked with A+ with red pencil.

I am very glad to hear this, and a bit envious. As a member of the generation that was brought up to fear of being caught being successful, I laud my students’ lack of baggage. They never had to put up with a parent saying, “Maybe you shouldn’t act so smart” or “Maybe you should lose once in a while.” They never hid their grade on their exam sheet (thus the quote in the first paragraph) hoping nobody would see it. They will not struggle in a job interview.

I have never felt such an acute difference between generations.

The Scourge of Midwestern Female Syndrome

According to some marketing sources, I should be mentioning my books once every three days as a ‘content creator’. I think that’s a bit excessive and that you don’t want to hear about them that often. This is probably part of my Midwestern Female Syndrome^TM, where I want to be perfect and to avoid attention at the same time.

I can see where Midwestern Female Syndrome^TM can get in the way of selling books. I believe, to some small extent, that our feelings and thoughts and attitudes affect outcomes. Not necessarily in a woo-woo way, but that internal baggage keeps us from doing the things we need to do to succeed. I’m sure this is the case with me. Notice I even put ‘content creator’ in quotation marks.

I’m not sure how to get rid of the internal baggage about writing and selling my books. One piece of advice that I should follow is “fake it until you make it”, but that sounds too much like a grifter’s motto to me. My approach has been to hope that something external brings me to the attention of readers (that is besides the marketing I do here, in my newsletter, on Bluesky and Threads, on Facebook …) It’s not that I don’t market, or that I don’t market often, but that I don’t market with confidence, and maybe that shows.

So, if you want, check out my author’s page right here.

Midwestern Female Syndrome Redux

My novel Reclaiming the Balance comes out January 1st, and I’m feeling pretty blase about it. I had an online celebration for the first two books but found it awkward (just as I would a real book launch party, I suspect). I don’t throw myself parties well; I haven’t had parties for any of my milestone birthdays, for which I am relieved.

I find myself craving attention, but I feel embarrassed when I get it. I’d love the recognition as long as I don’t have to be there for it (“We had a party for you. It went great.”) This must be part of the phenomenon I have named ‘Midwestern female syndrome’ where one feels the need to be inwardly perfect while maintaining an external shell of mediocrity.

So I will mark New Year’s Day with a note in the blog, on Facebook and Blue Sky and maybe Threads. I highly suggest reading the book, although I would recommend the first two (Gaia’s Hands and Apocalypse) first.

Midwestern Female Syndrome Redux

I envy those people who can assertively promote themselves — “Here’s my book and this is why you want to read it.” I have to push myself to promote myself, and my plugs are more like “Here’s my book and I hope you don’t dislike it too much.”

I don’t think I’ve written about Midwestern Female Syndrome lately. It’s a malady, almost completely among women, where one wants to be simultaneously perfect on the inside and mediocre on the outside so as not to draw attention. We berate ourselves for “only” a 95% on the exam and tell people we got an 85%. We say our work is “not bad” but tell ourselves it’s horrible. We can’t promote ourselves because not only do we believe we’re not good enough, but we don’t want the attention of being good enough.

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on Pexels.com

Does Midwestern Female Syndrome actually exist? Not in the annals of psychology, although I almost submitted it to the Journal of Polymorphous Perversity. But I’ve seen enough students raise their hands over the years to make me suspect otherwise.

Now, time to wrestle with my inferiority complex. See you soon!

A Small Accomplishment (and some Midwestern Female Syndrome)

Yesterday, a little bit of networking paid off.

I participated in a writers’ chat on Zoom headed by Debbi Voisey, a writer from England, about publishing tips. One of the topics was publishing in literary journals, and on the panel was Shawn Berman, the editor of an online journal, The Daily Drunk.

When he explained that the journal picked items that were “humorous and quirky”, I realized that I had a piece that might be what he was looking for*, Come to Realize. I don’t write humor much, but a story about a vampire in a Narcotics Anonymous meeting seemed like it might fit the bill. And, apparently it did, because it’s getting published next week.

At less than a thousand words, Come to Realize is flash fic. I seem to have a little luck in flash fiction and short stories and poetry**, and less luck in the novel category. I suspect this is because of marketability instead of skill. It might be that my quirk is more welcome in small, non-lucrative presses than in the big money-making ventures.

This might push me toward self-publishing, because I don’t think my stories are what mainstream fantasy expects. The tropes are not obvious — there are no elves, alternative worlds (well not much, anyhow) I don’t want to write to the trends (which always change anyhow).

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* Midwestern Female Syndrome entails the inner desire to be perfect with external behaviors of self-deprecation and overly qualified statements. Here is an example. In reality, I have been published eight times, not counting the two slop journals publishing everything right and left to make money off of selling copies of the journal.

** Here is another example of Midwestern Female Syndrome. It seems us Midwestern women are always striving to look mediocre.

Facing my fears (writing related)

My worst fear about writing is that, after developmental editors and publishing coaches, I will be left with this choice: Write what I love or get published.

I have gotten several rejections by agents. I don’t know if anyone will read me if I self-publish, because I’ve never been good at self-promotion.

There, I said it.

This has been my fear all along, that I will hit a dead end in my writing career — and yes, I think of it as a career, or at least the start of a career.

If that’s the worst thing that can happen, what are the possibilities?

I keep trying to find an agent, with the great possibility that revising my query materials will not attract an agent.
I self-publish, trying to get a readership on my own, which scares me to bits, because I hate self-promotion. I am convinced there’s a psychological disorder called “Midwestern Female Syndrome” in which sufferers display inward perfection while at the same time striving to look mediocre to others
I give up writing novels, because it’s really a waste of time to write novels that nobody reads.

I don’t have more than three possibilities in my mind. My mentor Les says that’s a bad thing, because there are always more than two options. I, however, cannot quit until I’ve exhausted all avenues.

On the flip side, how would I measure success?

An agent, and eventually a publisher if going the traditional route
At least 1000 copies sold of a self-published book, without having to resort to buying the books myself and reselling them
In the short run, at least breaking even on the investments I put into coaching, editing, and other items.

My vision, or where I would like to be:

Money to supplement my retirement in 10 or so years
A devoted readership
A book signing tour
The confidence to say I’m an author

I think my goals are realistic — perhaps too modest, but realistic.

This is where I am, world.

If you could send encouragement (non-anonymous preferred), prayers, wishes, or advice I’d greatly appreciate it.