Summer Will End Soon

Summer is winding down fast. I am starting to look at doing beginning of semester stuff (although it is a bit early) and my annual trip to New York State to do moulage is looming. I know my days of leisure are coming to an end.

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In the meantime, however, I might as well enjoy. Writing and resting are the order of the day. (Except for today; I have a couple school-related items in the afternoon).

I wish I could store up rest. It doesn’t work that way, but at least I can store up the memory of rest and let it sustain me.

Working out a Rhythm

At the end of week 2 of classes, I am still trying to get a rhythm to my days so I can write.

Three out of four Monday afternoons I will have meetings. Fifty percent of Tuesday afternoons I will have meetings as well. Unless I start writing in the evenings, and I’m often too tired by then, I will not be writing on those days. That gives me late afternoons Wednesday-Friday most of the time.

I have a Saturday routine that’s working. That’s a start.

I’ll keep you posted. I miss my flow activity!

Role Frustration

I need to get back into the swing of writing now that the semester has settled in.I need to find something more compelling to write than the Kel and Brother Coyote sequel; it’s a lot of fun but it feels like I’m doing it just to fill time. I’m absolutely pantsing the story, ignoring the outline I made for it.

I feel like my professor role has usurped my writer role. I figure this will get better when I’m more acclimated to the current professing duties; it is, after all, only the second week of the semester.

I have weathered this before; I will again. The right book will find me. I will get into the swing of writing. I just have to keep telling myself this.

Getting into the Swing of Things

The above is a very American phrase meaning something like “getting into the rhythm of what’s currently happening.” It’s such an ingrained phrase in American English that it’s hard to define without using the phrase itself.

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“Getting into the swing of things” is a descriptor of where I am right now. My fall semester starts tomorrow, and it will take a few days before I fall into the rhythm of life as a professor again. My schedule is much less flexible, I add more necessary tasks for my job, and i have much less free time. Writing time will become scarce and scheduled secondarily to my work tasks.

The challenge is to allow at least a couple hours a day writing, with three hours being optimal for flow. I can look at the schedule right now and see where that will be difficult. Mondays will be the most difficult, as I have meetings after my afternoon class lets out. Meanwhile, Wednesdays and Fridays will be easier — I can schedule 2:30-5 as writing time and maybe even go to Starbucks to write. Tuesdays and Thursdays I work at home, and I can do what I did over summer — get my work done first, and spend that later afternoon block writing. Weekends will be as always. So it’s doable.

The challenge will be to switch gears (another Americanism) from work brain to writing brain. They’re two different modes. Seldom does my work life demand creativity. (My creative life demands a certain amount of critical thinking, though.) Right now I have an afternoon to write before fall semester begins, but I’m not feeling inclined to write because I’m in work brain mode.

I’ve done this transition before — for many years, in fact; I don’t know why it’s a struggle this year. Maybe because I’m in-between projects, and there’s not a writing project currently obsessing me. This, too, will change when I get into the swing of things.

This Disjointed Feeling

I feel like my life is disjointed; a disparate collection of tasks and happenings are pulling my mind in different directions. I have Missouri Hope (disaster training exercise) this weekend, yet I sit here publishing my blog for my readers. I have classes on Monday, but I have a cardiologist appointment on Tuesday. My husband and I have to buy a car after he totaled ours, but I don’t know when we are going to have time to go out of town to look at one. I feel lost in my roles, not having enough time in any of them to feel fulfilled in them.

I want some time! I want some stability!

Struggling with Time

 This morning, I’m listening to Parliament-Funkadelic and drinking my coffee to wake me up. If this doesn’t work, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. The mornings are pretty dark now and getting colder. 

I don’t feel like I’m 57 years old until I remember and then count the years from that point: twenty-nine years from the time I got hit by a car; forty years from my first boyfriend; fifteen years from when I got tenure. Fifty-two years from when I got my tonsils out.


I remember fixtures from my life that changed in the technological revolution. I remember my speech teacher recording me with a reel-to-reel tape recorder. I remember my first transistor radio. I remember the portable tape recorder roughly the size of a package of Chips Ahoy. The computer with the grey screen and the green letters, typing in commands at the prompt. 

Still, I don’t feel 57. The number seems too high; its proximity to senior-citizenhood too close. I’m not resigned to go quietly into my twilight years. Expect me to make waves. Expect me to write. 

Powered by Science and Coffee

I need coffee.

I’m still at the conference; I will be presenting my poster on “Do Euphemisms Influence Car Buying?” (The answer is No) this morning and maybe get to the zoo this afternoon. 

I’m getting everything done except my writing/editing but that’s to be expected. Not enough brain cells for the writing. 

But at least I’m getting this out today. 

Writing in the Middle of Finals

I’ve been pushing myself to write at least 600 words a day on the novel despite finals week. That’s not a lot of words per day to be honest; in November (NaNoWriMo month) I can write 2000 words per day easily.  

To write, I need to have at least two hours blocked off. That’s not a big problem finals week, because I have fewer classes and more flexible time. The big problem is unfettered time to think. During finals week, especially Spring semester, everything seems urgent: Grade all the end of semester student work. Write and grade finals. Prepare end of semester/end of year paperwork. Pledge to do things differently next semester.

So this week I don’t have the space in my brain for ideas to flow. The ideas feel frustratingly compartmentalized. I check Facebook entirely too much.

This too will pass, when I take a deep breath after turning my grades in, and then schedule a summer routine where (between interns and a class I’m taking) I will schedule time to write.

 

Excerpt from Voyageurs

Here’s an excerpt from Voyageurs, the next book I will put through the query process:

(Wanda and Harold met me just outside the soup kitchen, on the cracked sidewalk, negative two years from my natural time — 
“What now? I groused. “I was just about to eat lunch at the Mission.”
“Don’t be a bitch,” Harold said loftily, as Wanda looked down her nose at me as if I’d crawled out from under a rock. “We’ve got an experiment we need you to do.”
“Why me? I’m a Junior Birdman. You’re the King.” I knew, deep down, that I would do whatever Harold dared me to.
“You’re faster than I am. I need someone fast to do this. I bet you can’t do it, though.” Harold examined his hands, probably for invisible dirt specks, as I’d never seen him with his hands dirty. 
“You bet I can’t do what?” I demanded.
“Change the outcome of that game over there.” Wanda interjected in her haughty voice. 
“But that won’t work!” I groused. “The rock principle will keep it from changing. You can’t change time.”
“I’m going with you,” Harold reassured me. “We’re jumping a minute into the past to that shell game over there and you’re going to tip over the right cup so the mooch sees he’s getting conned.”
I protested. “By ‘we’, you mean me. How would I know where the ball landed?”
“You know,” Harold gritted his teeth. “You always know. I’ve seen you run that game.”
“You can’t change time. I try to change time and the cup won’t tip over. It always works that way.”  I’d tried it — I could win the game with data I’d gleaned from the future, but I couldn’t change the outcome of the game itself.
“But what if I change one or two other things at the same time?” Harold smiled, and I felt his charm dissolve my reluctance. “How would the timeline know which event to change? With one or two other changes at once, I hope to confuse things so that you can tip the right cup and ruin the game.”
“But what about crossing ourselves?” I demanded. “I only get what — four minutes before crossing myself kills me?”
“You’ll have to do it quickly, I guess,” Harold shrugged. “Unless you don’t think you can — “
“Alright. I’ll do it.” I always knew I would.
We jumped to three minutes before the start of the round, and Wanda came with us as witness. She and Harold stepped back while I walked up to the game, which involved a mooch and a grifter as we called victims and fraudsters on the street. 
I needed to reach in and tip the cup with the ball under it at the exact moment that the mooch would guess the whereabouts of the ball — and jump before the grifter caught my wrist and took me behind the nearest building to beat me to a pulp. I wondered why Harold would subject me to that risk, or the risk of crossing myself and being crushed. But he had faith in me …
One exhilarating moment later, I tipped the cup, revealing the ball to be in a different cup than it appeared to the mooch, and I jumped back to my present time without dying. I bent over, gasping and laughing.
“You’re the best,” Harold clapped me on the shoulder. “I knew you could do it. I think we should make a game of this. Call it — Voyageur. Like Traveller, but provocative.”
Then we blinked out of sight before the irate con artist reached us.)

Finding time

This has been a busy, busy semester.

For example, this is what I wrote this morning:

This course focuses on the concept, practice, and issues of case management.  Students will develop skills in communicating with clients, discerning intercultural issues in practice, and using best practices in documentation. This class will prepare students for case management positions in a variety of venues including geriatric case management, psychiatric case management, and disaster case management.

**********

I am becoming frustrated, because I’m having trouble finding the time and the brain cells for my writing. I don’t even know what I’m going to write for NaNo in November!

I need to find time. I think I can schedule after school, except on those days I have meetings (every Thursday, every Friday, and occasional Tuesdays). You see the problem, don’t you?

I need to plot some sacred “you can’t touch this” time.

I used to do this early mornings, but I’ve managed to put work-work (you know, work-work as opposed to writing-work?) into that time because I went to sleep thinking about that course description. My semester is busy enough that I think about work at night.

I’m thinking about evenings, from 6 to 8, at the Board Game Cafe. Every weekday. Even if I can’t write on my story, I have a routine going.

Let’s try that.