Mornings with my Husband

Every morning

Every morning, my husband and I get up at 5 (me willingly, him reluctantly) so we can spend time with each other (and the cats) before we go to work. Richard makes the coffee and gets us cereal for breakfast while I type up the morning blog. The cats — the only one I see now is the blue (grey) tabby and white Me-Me curled up against a box of LaCroix.

I sit on the loveseat where my station for writing is set; Richard sits on the couch. We usually play music, with me in control, which means iTunes and one of their ‘Essentials’ series. Today is an exception; we’re playing the Chess soundtrack because I’m been hearing too much ABBA on Oldies Internet Radio. (Link there –the B’s in ABBA helped write the Chess soundtrack). Richard and I talk about the music because I have strong opinions — and sometimes so does he.

He finds me pictures of cute cats and goats and sends them to me, and delivers my daily dose of chocolate. His love language is acts of service. Mine is verbal communication and sense of humor. It’s a great way to spend coffee

These days of summer

These days when I have all day to do things relative to my writing, it seems that Richard goes off to work way early. I could keep him here all day if it weren’t for the fact that we are both earners. Today he goes in the next 20 minutes, and there will be less laughter and less brightness to the day.

As a love story

As a love story, Richard and I are very mellow. Maybe this is fitting with our ages, or maybe we’re just mellow people. We’re definitely not the love story written in romance novels (are there even middle-aged love stories?)

I wouldn’t trade our love story for anything.

Question for you

Would you read a mellow love story if it had some realistic tension in it?

Soooo Tired

It’s the end of the school year

There’s so much I want to accomplish, but — all I want to do is sleep. I thought I would get away with not having the end-of-year crash, but I’m back to wanting to crawl back into bed with a feeling of murkiness.

It happens every year. I survive till the end of semester, and then crash. I’m trying not to let the crash win this year, but I slept all afternoon yesterday after accomplishing my one task (my first Tik Tok; to be found here.)

Choosing to be slightly productive

It occurs to me that I am standing between two extremes here — being productive all day or sleeping all day. That’s a failing of mine — black and white thinking. So maybe I need to make a temporary goal: productive in the mornings, sleepy after lunch. I’m hoping it will work, because I’m tired right now, having awakened an hour and a half ago.

Maybe today it’s just setting goals time, and more specific than “work on something for three hours a day.” I found how effective that was yesterday, where other than the Tik Tok I accomplished … nothing. Ok, I guess I plantsed the outline for the last three Kel and Brother Coyote installments. I didn’t write.

That all or nothing thinking

I did it again. In that last paragraph, I started accelerating my goals, hinting that TikTok and editing the video, and outlining the rest of a novella were not enough. That’s the sort of thing that will get me into all-or-nothing thinking. Not where I want to be,

How do I change that? With a more specific goal, such as:

I will make and edit a Tik Tok for three mornings this week.
I will write two sections of a Kel and Brother Coyote story per week, in the mornings
I will explore ideas for short stories two afternoons a week (preferably over coffee)
I will take 5 minutes per hour for social media. in the mornings

I hope this works! If it doesn’t, I’ll adjust it.

The Beginning of Summer

Or so I hope

Today the grades go in at 10 AM, but my grades are in already. It’s officially summer. Even though the high today is only 62. It’s not like I want weather in the 90s, but 70s at least. Jumping in a swimming pool without turning into a block of ice weather.

After what was the hardest school year of my life (other than the one where I ended up in the hospital I guess) I’m free. Interns are really schedulable.

What I wish for this summer:

A spa weekend at the Elms (scheduled for the end of the month)
Lots of productive writing
Afternoon naps (as needed)
Someone lending me a camper so I can do a writing retreat at Mozingo Lake (wishful thinking!)
Getting back into walking, a little at a time
Figuring out how to promote my writing.

A wish to a goal

What I have to do now is turn my wishes to goals. I think the best thing to do is make them into goals, looking at whether I have the resources to fulfill them (goodbye camper; I don’t have the social capital to get that for free) I think I need to have some long-term goals to wrap the daily goals in. But right now I don’t feel much like that, because it’s my break and I really need to take that nap now.

A World Too Big

My life on digital media two years ago

I can be found on Facebook, which to me feels like my small town, only populated with nerds like me. And on Instagram, which feels like going to a petting zoo, since I follow mainly celebrity cats. Those, for the longest time, were my only social media.

But then, because I’m a writer who needs to promote books (well, book anyway), I’ve been encouraged to seek out other media.

And now

Maybe it’s because I’m a Boomer, or perhaps it’s because I grew up in a small town, but the digital world suddenly seems too big to me. I have almost 5000 followers on Twitter (writers’ Twitter is very generous with its likes), and that was the size of the town I grew up in.

And now I’ve been advised to go on Tik Tok. Tik Tok seems like a really crowded circus sideshow in which I’m one of the performers but I can’t find my booth and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I’m overwhelmed, and wonder what one would do with 180k followers if one could get them.

So I’ve joined Tik Tok anyhow

I joined Tik Tok yesterday and will be putting up my first video today. I don’t know that I’ll be exciting — I’m a nerd who likes coffee and cats and writes occasional novels. I have four friends on Tik Tok. I have followed three internet famous cats. I have ordered a light ring. I remembered where I put my makeup so I look good (as good as I can) on camera.

We shall see.

Here’s a question:

Are any of you on Tik Tok? My username is @lleachie. Drop me a line!

Thinking About the Fear of Failure

Sorry, I’m running a bit late today

It’s been a busy morning. I’ve prepped four signed copies of The Kringle Conspiracy for the mail today — I have friends that want my signature. It took extra coffee to get me on task today, because I had nightmares about getting the wrong signed book in the right envelope. I swore, with that, I would complete the task first thing before I psyched myself out. Task completed; now to mail them.

Which brings me to my topic

How is it we let fear of failure get in the way of our dreams? It’s common enough that Harvard Business Review has an article on how to overcome fear of failure. So do others, but I like HBR’s version because it fits with my world view. (wise words or confirmation bias? You decide.)

Here’s their list with my musings:

Refine failure. This fits in with the SMART model of goal-setting. I covered the other day — goals should be attainable. I set a goal of “getting traditionally published”, and given the market, that might have been aiming too high for a first-time author. I still have that goal, but I set other goals like “self-publish one book”, and I feel satisfied with self-publishing The Kringle Conspiracy and its sequel coming out in November, Kringle in the Night.
Set approach rather than avoidance goals. This is the difference between “avoiding rejection” and “get published”. Or, for another dichotomy, “losing weight” vs “making healthy habits. If I accentuate failure, I start the journey to success cranky and hopeless.
Make a “fear list“. This is one I hadn’t heard of, and I’m going to start doing it. The technique is: 1) write what you’re afraid of, 2) write what you’ll do to keep it from happening; 3) write down what you’ll do if it happens. I’m thinking about how I might use this in my life.
Focus on learning. This one I love the most — because I believe my purpose in life is to always be learning. Those messy first drafts became polished novels with the help of experience. I managed to stumble through self-publishing. I’ve gotten tons of rejections, but it’s okay because I’ve learned. Success or failure, we will hopefully always learn.

The question

Drop me a line — how do you deal with favor? And which of these pieces of advice do you think will work in your life?

Just Do It

I’m having trouble writing this blog today.

I’m struggling with inertia when it comes to writing the blog today. Inertia is, so far, winning. To the point that I stare at this vista of screen space and … blank.

I try to write this blog as a show and tell — I show you what I do today and tell you the practical underpinnings. Not “You should do this” as much as “I’m trying this and this is how it’s working for me.”

At this point, I can abandon the blog till later — a practice we call procrastination.

So what do I do about my blog-writing woes?

I’m going to address this in terms of procrastination advice, which goes beyond “just do it” (thank you, Nike) and into practical advice. Procrastination breakers I’ve learned are as follows:

Break the job into smaller parts — this gives you motivational boosts in small doses when you need them
Put a reward at the end of the task
Do five-ten minutes of the task, promising yourself you’ll quit if you’re still unmotivated.

So, how’s it working?

You might notice I have headers. Not just because it makes it easier for you to read, but because it makes it easier for me to write. This is my breaking up the job into the smaller parts. (Yay, I’m done with two parts so far!)

My reward at the end of the blog? Another cup of coffee, because I can be motivated by caffeine, always. Coffee, tea, it doesn’t matter.

Doing five to ten minutes of the task — I always work like this, and for some reason I never quit tasks after that 10 minutes. Why? Because once I’m into the task, my brain wakes up and I end up finishing the task.

I’m almost done with this blog, and I didn’t know if I would abandon it at the beginning of the writing. Now time for coffee!

Now for you

Tell me what your go-to procrastination!

Just one more thing

I finally have my professional website updated for the spring and highlighting the Christmas in July deal I have for The Kringle Conspiracy. There are blog entries there too, but they’re more professional writer type things — book plugs, cover reveals, logos, that sort of thing. You can find my professional blog here.

Stop by and say hi!

Productive Day Yesterday

In-between grading final exams

I spent much of yesterday sitting around waiting for final exams in my Happiness class. (Yes, I teach a Happiness class). But I didn’t wait idly (or watch House reruns).

I instead worked on some Canva products branding my contemporary/fantasy romance side. (I still need some logo for my contemporary fantasy line)

So, this was fun

Here’s the logo:

I chose this logo because:

I use small initials to initial items, and so this is my “signature”.
It’s simple — I wasn’t into florid floral patterns
That heart.

Here’s an advertisement:

I highly recommend Canva

I’ve been doing all this work on a web-based design program called Canva. I have exactly one course in design under my belt, and that was 37 years ago. (I didn’t go further in design because of my profound hand-eye coordination problems).

What should I do for my fantasy persona?

Urgk — I don’t mean my persona as a karate-wielding grandma. I mean my professional logo, etc for my fantasy books. I’d like to use the initials again, but what do I dot the j with? Let me know what you think.

Inertia

My summer is about to begin

The only thing standing between me and summer is one final due today at noon. All I have to do is grade it, turn the grades in, and I am done with this school year.

The trouble with free time

What do I have planned? Not enough. I have sixteen interns to supervise over the summer, and I have a lot of time to do things. But the problem with a lot of time to do things is that it’s too easy to do nothing. The old saying is that work expands to fill the time. My experience is the opposite: Nothing expands to fill the time. I watch reruns on my computer, surf for hours, and engage in ‘horizontal snoring meditation’ (i.e. naps).

The best use of my time

This is a question I’m going to keep asking myself over the summer — “Is this the best use of my time”? This question, if I’m being honest with myself, is the best motivator. Sometimes horizontal snoring meditation is the best use of my time; other times, it’s a waste. Many times, writing or the like will be the best use of my time. But this should keep me from too much dawdling.

Setting goals

I need to set some goals for the summer. Goals should be SMART. Which means:

Specific
Measurable
Action Oriented
Relevant
Time-bound

Goals help motivation by giving focus and standards and deadlines. I have not made my goals SMART yet, but here’s the beginning:

I will work on writing/plotting at least 2 hours a day
I will finish a short story or poem once a week

These may be overly ambitious, but I need to push myself or else I will get sucked into the void.

My work cut out for me

If I can stick with the goals (and if they’re realistic) I should have a fruitful summer. We shall see.

Pushing Myself to Write

The goal

I’ve been pushing myself to do one writing-related thing per day (this blog doesn’t count). I’m pushing myself because I am not currently enamored with an idea; no project obsessions here.

I thrive on project obsessions, so when they’re not there, I tend to panic. Which is why I’m doing the daily writing gig — to jog me into that state of flow where there’s nothing except the writing and me.

“How’s that working for you?”

I wrote and edited a poem, so that counts for something. I’ve revised two cover letters and sent in queries of two books (one small press, one large). I haven’t come up with any big ideas yet, but there’s a whole summer to work on things. I have an idea for this fall’s Kringle story, but I won’t work on that till NaNoWriMo in November.

I really need to write some short stories, flash, and poetry. Those will give me submittables for Submittable. As I’ve said before, I’ve been advised to stop writing novels for a while and start with smaller story submissions.

What I want to work on this summer

More stories in the Kel and Brother Coyote arc
Some short stories and flash based on prompts Richard gave me
Work on my own list of prompts — I’m actually playing with this this morning and need to write these down:
- A middle aged housewife fights a fae infestation
- The denizens of Hell unionize
- A little girl inherits her grandfather’s dragon

That should keep me busy.